You Opranauts need my help

Dr. Elle · 09-30-2005

Since I am on hiatus from sexines I've been reading this board and I'm shocked, shocked I tell you at the sexual problems that plague the people here.
My suggestion would be therapy for all of you, but there are a few that I see major problems with.

Morgan, my poor dear, we must talk about your obsession with cupcakes, crumpets and Kirby the dancing carrot.

Trev, I think you and your wife need counseling regarding your intimate dealings with some of the men here.

Dravyk, why is everyone here fascinated with your balls?

I'm here, please utilize my services for all your sexual questions.

ReighlynnRaine · 10-01-2005

"You lie down, confess your sins and you are saved. Cha-ching!"

Trev · 10-01-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dr. Elle

Since I am on hiatus from sexines I've been reading this board and I'm shocked, shocked I tell you at the sexual problems that plague the people here.
My suggestion would be therapy for all of you, but there are a few that I see major problems with.

Morgan, my poor dear, we must talk about your obsession with cupcakes, crumpets and Kirby the dancing carrot.

Trev, I think you and your wife need counseling regarding your intimate dealings with some of the men here.

Dravyk, why is everyone here fascinated with your balls?

I'm here, please utilize my services for all your sexual questions.

It was an open relationship, I've got nothing to be ashamed of.

ReighlynnRaine · 10-01-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trev

It was an open relationship, I've got nothing to be ashamed of.

Ahh but do you have pictures?

Trev · 10-01-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by ReighlynnRaine

Ahh but do you have pictures?

Pictures... pictures... what kind of guy do you think I am?

I've got video babeee.

ReighlynnRaine · 10-01-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trev

Pictures... pictures... what kind of guy do you think I am?

I've got video babeee.

Top_Of_Google_Man · 10-01-2005

Can you cure my piles lol?

Trev · 10-01-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by Top_Of_Google_Man

Can you cure my piles lol?

Yeah, come on Doc. Show us your magic, help this guy in his time of need.

Newton · 10-01-2005

Doc .. welcome back .. hope the teaching is going well ..

Can you help Top_Of_Google_Man sort his farmers?

Trev · 10-01-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by Newton

Doc .. welcome back .. hope the teaching is going well ..

Can you help Top_Of_Google_Man sort his farmers?

I was going to suggest Anusol, but thought I'd better leave it for the good Doc.

TheEnforcer · 10-01-2005

That was apicture I really didn't need to see!! Good advertising for Drinking Hard's gallery service though!! LOL

Dr. Elle · 10-01-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trev

It was an open relationship, I've got nothing to be ashamed of.

After all those men I'm sure more than your relationship is open.
But as long as your wife is ok with it, and I hope you are at least sharing some of those men with her.

Trev · 10-01-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dr. Elle

But as long as your wife is ok with it, and I hope you are at least sharing some of those men with her.

Hell no!

She's more than capable of getting her own.

Dr. Elle · 10-01-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by Top_Of_Google_Man

Can you cure my piles lol?

Cure them? No, I'm not a proctologist, I'm a sex therapist.

You can prevent them though, by not getting dicks stuck up your ass anymore.

Dr. Elle · 10-01-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trev

Hell no!

She's more than capable of getting her own.

Sounds like you have a very healthy sexual relationship. I'll have to mention in in my next book. "Sexual Deviants and The Women Who Love Them."

Trev · 10-01-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dr. Elle

Sounds like you have a very healthy sexual relationship. I'll have to mention in in my next book. "Sexual Deviants and The Women Who Love Them."

Excellent, I'll look forward to my free copy.

domtheboy · 10-01-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dr. Elle

You can prevent them though, by not getting dicks stuck up your ass anymore.

So you won't be advising him to "take two" and call you in the morning

Red · 10-01-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by domtheboy

So you won't be advising him to "take two" and call you in the morning

Trev · 10-01-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by Red

Come on - give the lad some points

Red · 10-01-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trev

Come on - give the lad some points

Done. 5 points to Dom.

domtheboy · 10-01-2005

Woo hoo ! I'll be here all week, I do weddings, bar mitzvahs, internexts....

MorganGrayson · 10-01-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dr. Elle

Since I am on hiatus from sexines I've been reading this board and I'm shocked, shocked I tell you at the sexual problems that plague the people here.
My suggestion would be therapy for all of you, but there are a few that I see major problems with.

Morgan, my poor dear, we must talk about your obsession with cupcakes, crumpets and Kirby the dancing carrot.

Trev, I think you and your wife need counseling regarding your intimate dealings with some of the men here.

Dravyk, why is everyone here fascinated with your balls?

I'm here, please utilize my services for all your sexual questions.

Well, now. Since you're a professional, I'm sure you understand a rattling good case of Anglophilia with sexual overtones.

As for Kirby,

, he says "Dr. Elle makes me go

and need to

a lot!!!!!"

I like him because he's honest and cheerful. Perhaps a little too much....

Sickfuck · 10-01-2005

[Trev]
Dear kindly Doctor Elle,
You gotta understand,
If it weren't for KY jelly
I couldn't have a man
I'd really like a teabag
Or just a big dick
Golly Moses, Toni thinks I'm sick!

Gee, Doctor Elle, I'm very upset;
I never got the love that ev'ry child should get.
I ain't a hoomosexual,
I'm just misunderstood.
A dick deep down inside feels so good!

[Oprano chorus]
Feels so good!

Feels so good, Feels so good,
Feels so fucking good!
Deep down inside him a dick feels good!

[Doctor Elle]
That's a touchin' good story.
Lemme tell it to the world!

[Nickatilynx]
Just tell it to your wife.

[Trev]
Dear sweet and lovely Toni,
The guys they treat me rough.
Saying "Hey blow me"
Or gagging me so much
I didn't want them to have me,
But somehow I was had.
Leapin' lizards! It didn't feel too bad!

[Toni]
Right!

Doctor Elle, you must be smoking grass;
This boy don't need a wife, he needs a dick up his ass!
It's just his latent want tos that oughta be curbed.
He's psychologic'ly disturbed!

[Trev]
I'm disturbed!

[Oprano chorus]
He's disturbed, He's disturbed,
He is the most disturbed,
Like he's psychologic'ly disturbed.

[Toni]
In the opinion of this wife, this man is depraved on account he ain't had a good stiff one.

[Trev]
Hey, I'm depraved on account I'm deprived.

[Oprano Chorus]
So take him to a headshrinker.

[Trev]
My father was a bastard,
My ma's an S.O.B.
My grandpa's always plastered,
My grandma pushes tea.
My sister wears a mustache,
My brother wears a dress.
Goodness gracious, that's why I'm a mess!

[Headshrinker]
Yes!

Doctor Elle, you really are a slob.
This boy don't need a doctor, just a real good blow job.
Society's played him a terrible trick,
And sociologic'ly he's sick!

[Trev]
I am sick!

[Oprnoa Chorus]
He is sick, He is sick,
He needs a big old dick
Like He's sociologically sick!

[Headshrinker]
In my opinion, this child don't need to have his head shrunk at all. Homosexuality is purely a social disease!

[Trev]
Hey, I got a social disease!

[Oprano Chorus]
So take him to a social worker!

[Trev]
Dear kindly social worker,
They tell me to just suck.
Like be a big dick jerker,
and then get an ass fuck.
It's not I'm homosexual,
I'm only anti-girl.
Gloryosky! I think I'm gonna hurl!

[Female social worker]
Eek!

Doctor Elle, you've done it again.
This boy don't need just one guy, he needs a million of them.
It ain't just a question of being misunderstood;
Deep down inside him, a dick feels good!

[Trev]
A dick feels good!

[Oprano chorus]
A dick feels good, A dick feels good!
It feels so fucking good,
Deep down inside him a dick feels good!

[Nick]
The trouble is he's HOMO.

[Sarettah]
The trouble is he's Brit.

[Dravyk]
The trouble is he's gay.
and likes the feel of a big dick.

[Morgan]
The trouble is he's pretty.

[Toni]
The trouble is he's mine.

[Oprano chorus]
Doctor Elle, listen to him whine!

Gee, Doctor Elle,
Get down on your knees,
You can suck and lick us as long as you please
Gee, Doctor Elle,
What are we to do?
Gee, Doctor Elle,
Fuck you!

Trev · 10-01-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sickfuck

[Trev]
Dear kindly Doctor Elle,
You gotta understand,
If it weren't for KY jelly
I couldn't have a man
I'd really like a teabag
Or just a big dick
Golly Moses, Toni thinks I'm sick!

Gee, Doctor Elle, I'm very upset;
I never got the love that ev'ry child should get.
I ain't a hoomosexual,
I'm just misunderstood.
A dick deep down inside feels so good!

[Oprano chorus]
Feels so good!

Feels so good, Feels so good,
Feels so fucking good!
Deep down inside him a dick feels good!

[Doctor Elle]
That's a touchin' good story.
Lemme tell it to the world!

[Nickatilynx]
Just tell it to your wife.

[Trev]
Dear sweet and lovely Toni,
The guys they treat me rough.
Saying "Hey blow me"
Or gagging me so much
I didn't want them to have me,
But somehow I was had.
Leapin' lizards! It didn't feel too bad!

[Toni]
Right!

Doctor Elle, you must be smoking grass;
This boy don't need a wife, he needs a dick up his ass!
It's just his latent want tos that oughta be curbed.
He's psychologic'ly disturbed!

[Trev]
I'm disturbed!

[Oprano chorus]
He's disturbed, He's disturbed,
He is the most disturbed,
Like he's psychologic'ly disturbed.

[Toni]
In the opinion of this wife, this man is depraved on account he ain't had a good stiff one.

[Trev]
Hey, I'm depraved on account I'm deprived.

[Oprano Chorus]
So take him to a headshrinker.

[Trev]
My father was a bastard,
My ma's an S.O.B.
My grandpa's always plastered,
My grandma pushes tea.
My sister wears a mustache,
My brother wears a dress.
Goodness gracious, that's why I'm a mess!

[Headshrinker]
Yes!

Doctor Elle, you really are a slob.
This boy don't need a doctor, just a real good blow job.
Society's played him a terrible trick,
And sociologic'ly he's sick!

[Trev]
I am sick!

[Oprnoa Chorus]
He is sick, He is sick,
He needs a big old dick
Like He's sociologically sick!

[Headshrinker]
In my opinion, this child don't need to have his head shrunk at all. Homosexuality is purely a social disease!

[Trev]
Hey, I got a social disease!

[Oprano Chorus]
So take him to a social worker!

[Trev]
Dear kindly social worker,
They tell me to just suck.
Like be a big dick jerker,
and then get an ass fuck.
It's not I'm homosexual,
I'm only anti-girl.
Gloryosky! I think I'm gonna hurl!

[Female social worker]
Eek!

Doctor Elle, you've done it again.
This boy don't need just one guy, he needs a million of them.
It ain't just a question of being misunderstood;
Deep down inside him, a dick feels good!

[Trev]
A dick feels good!

[Oprano chorus]
A dick feels good, A dick feels good!
It feels so fucking good,
Deep down inside him a dick feels good!

[Nick]
The trouble is he's HOMO.

[Sarettah]
The trouble is he's Brit.

[Dravyk]
The trouble is he's gay.
and likes the feel of a big dick.

[Morgan]
The trouble is he's pretty.

[Toni]
The trouble is he's mine.

[Oprano chorus]
Doctor Elle, listen to him whine!

Gee, Doctor Elle,
Get down on your knees,
You can suck and lick us as long as you please
Gee, Doctor Elle,
What are we to do?
Gee, Doctor Elle,
Fuck you!

A masterpiece

Newton · 10-01-2005

ahahahaha now thats country ....

sarettah · 10-01-2005

Nope, that's West Side Story

Trev · 10-01-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by sarettah

Nope, that's West Side Story

Now I'm more than pissed off... WSS sucks yank ass

Red · 10-01-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sickfuck

[Trev]
Dear kindly Doctor Elle,
You gotta understand,
If it weren't for KY jelly
I couldn't have a man
I'd really like a teabag
Or just a big dick
Golly Moses, Toni thinks I'm sick!

Gee, Doctor Elle, I'm very upset;
I never got the love that ev'ry child should get.
I ain't a hoomosexual,
I'm just misunderstood.
A dick deep down inside feels so good!

[Oprano chorus]
Feels so good!

Feels so good, Feels so good,
Feels so fucking good!
Deep down inside him a dick feels good!

[Doctor Elle]
That's a touchin' good story.
Lemme tell it to the world!

[Nickatilynx]
Just tell it to your wife.

[Trev]
Dear sweet and lovely Toni,
The guys they treat me rough.
Saying "Hey blow me"
Or gagging me so much
I didn't want them to have me,
But somehow I was had.
Leapin' lizards! It didn't feel too bad!

[Toni]
Right!

Doctor Elle, you must be smoking grass;
This boy don't need a wife, he needs a dick up his ass!
It's just his latent want tos that oughta be curbed.
He's psychologic'ly disturbed!

[Trev]
I'm disturbed!

[Oprano chorus]
He's disturbed, He's disturbed,
He is the most disturbed,
Like he's psychologic'ly disturbed.

[Toni]
In the opinion of this wife, this man is depraved on account he ain't had a good stiff one.

[Trev]
Hey, I'm depraved on account I'm deprived.

[Oprano Chorus]
So take him to a headshrinker.

[Trev]
My father was a bastard,
My ma's an S.O.B.
My grandpa's always plastered,
My grandma pushes tea.
My sister wears a mustache,
My brother wears a dress.
Goodness gracious, that's why I'm a mess!

[Headshrinker]
Yes!

Doctor Elle, you really are a slob.
This boy don't need a doctor, just a real good blow job.
Society's played him a terrible trick,
And sociologic'ly he's sick!

[Trev]
I am sick!

[Oprnoa Chorus]
He is sick, He is sick,
He needs a big old dick
Like He's sociologically sick!

[Headshrinker]
In my opinion, this child don't need to have his head shrunk at all. Homosexuality is purely a social disease!

[Trev]
Hey, I got a social disease!

[Oprano Chorus]
So take him to a social worker!

[Trev]
Dear kindly social worker,
They tell me to just suck.
Like be a big dick jerker,
and then get an ass fuck.
It's not I'm homosexual,
I'm only anti-girl.
Gloryosky! I think I'm gonna hurl!

[Female social worker]
Eek!

Doctor Elle, you've done it again.
This boy don't need just one guy, he needs a million of them.
It ain't just a question of being misunderstood;
Deep down inside him, a dick feels good!

[Trev]
A dick feels good!

[Oprano chorus]
A dick feels good, A dick feels good!
It feels so fucking good,
Deep down inside him a dick feels good!

[Nick]
The trouble is he's HOMO.

[Sarettah]
The trouble is he's Brit.

[Dravyk]
The trouble is he's gay.
and likes the feel of a big dick.

[Morgan]
The trouble is he's pretty.

[Toni]
The trouble is he's mine.

[Oprano chorus]
Doctor Elle, listen to him whine!

Gee, Doctor Elle,
Get down on your knees,
You can suck and lick us as long as you please
Gee, Doctor Elle,
What are we to do?
Gee, Doctor Elle,
Fuck you!

That was wonderfully creative. I love West Side Story.

Trev · 10-01-2005

I hate having to repeat myself!!

WSS sucks yank ass

Dravyk · 10-01-2005

"Yank Ass"?

Trev · 10-01-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dravyk

Yank Ass?

That's 'mericun bung hole to you.

Dravyk · 10-01-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trev

That's 'mericun bung hole to you.

Eh, go get your teeth fixed, Limey.

Trev · 10-01-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dravyk

Eh, go get your teeth fixed, Limey.

I've only got what they send me... cruel mother fucker

Dravyk · 10-01-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trev

I've only got what they send me... cruel mother fucker

Now I feel bad.

Trev · 10-01-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dravyk

Now I feel bad.

Yanks and their fucking pearly whites...

I've got all my own teeth... minus the 4 I've lost from fighting.. someone else has them

Dravyk · 10-01-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trev

minus the 4 I've lost from fighting.. someone else has them

Shoulda picked them up from the pub floor and jammed 'em back in!

sarettah · 10-01-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trev

Now I'm more than pissed off... WSS sucks yank ass

Some people's taste is all in their mouth.........

Top_Of_Google_Man · 10-02-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dr. Elle

Cure them? No, I'm not a proctologist, I'm a sex therapist.

You can prevent them though, by not getting dicks stuck up your ass anymore.

Nick assured me it was the opposite!! bastich!!

09-30-2005	#1
Dr. Elle Members Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 15	You Opranauts need my help Since I am on hiatus from sexines I've been reading this board and I'm shocked, shocked I tell you at the sexual problems that plague the people here. My suggestion would be therapy for all of you, but there are a few that I see major problems with. Morgan, my poor dear, we must talk about your obsession with cupcakes, crumpets and Kirby the dancing carrot. Trev, I think you and your wife need counseling regarding your intimate dealings with some of the men here. Dravyk, why is everyone here fascinated with your balls? I'm here, please utilize my services for all your sexual questions. __________________ Don't knock promiscuity...It got me my job elle AT sexines.com

10-01-2005	#2
ReighlynnRaine Punk Rock Porn Queen Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: California Posts: 548	Re: You Opranauts need my help "You lie down, confess your sins and you are saved. Cha-ching!" __________________ Pretend I said something interesting and quote me. - ME

10-01-2005	#7
Top_Of_Google_Man Members Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: London UK Posts: 253	Re: You Opranauts need my help Can you cure my piles lol? __________________ FREE TRIALS ARE HOT AGAIN - GET YOUR SHARE!

10-01-2005	#9
Newton It's always business, never personal! The POWER of radio Oprano Radio Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: On a golf course Posts: 4,916	Re: You Opranauts need my help Doc .. welcome back .. hope the teaching is going well .. Can you help Top_Of_Google_Man sort his farmers? __________________ Poser Bush in a mix-up over his hi-tech gizmo - ICLOD

10-01-2005	#11
TheEnforcer Scored VIP to Anton's Piss Tank Want to see your own Advertising Here! Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 8,781	Re: You Opranauts need my help That was apicture I really didn't need to see!! Good advertising for Drinking Hard's gallery service though!! LOL

10-01-2005	#21
domtheboy Members Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 612	Re: You Opranauts need my help Woo hoo ! I'll be here all week, I do weddings, bar mitzvahs, internexts....

10-01-2005	#23
Sickfuck Members I'm new! Join Date: Jul 2003 Posts: 4	Re: You Opranauts need my help [Trev] Dear kindly Doctor Elle, You gotta understand, If it weren't for KY jelly I couldn't have a man I'd really like a teabag Or just a big dick Golly Moses, Toni thinks I'm sick! Gee, Doctor Elle, I'm very upset; I never got the love that ev'ry child should get. I ain't a hoomosexual, I'm just misunderstood. A dick deep down inside feels so good! [Oprano chorus] Feels so good! Feels so good, Feels so good, Feels so fucking good! Deep down inside him a dick feels good! [Doctor Elle] That's a touchin' good story. Lemme tell it to the world! [Nickatilynx] Just tell it to your wife. [Trev] Dear sweet and lovely Toni, The guys they treat me rough. Saying "Hey blow me" Or gagging me so much I didn't want them to have me, But somehow I was had. Leapin' lizards! It didn't feel too bad! [Toni] Right! Doctor Elle, you must be smoking grass; This boy don't need a wife, he needs a dick up his ass! It's just his latent want tos that oughta be curbed. He's psychologic'ly disturbed! [Trev] I'm disturbed! [Oprano chorus] He's disturbed, He's disturbed, He is the most disturbed, Like he's psychologic'ly disturbed. [Toni] In the opinion of this wife, this man is depraved on account he ain't had a good stiff one. [Trev] Hey, I'm depraved on account I'm deprived. [Oprano Chorus] So take him to a headshrinker. [Trev] My father was a bastard, My ma's an S.O.B. My grandpa's always plastered, My grandma pushes tea. My sister wears a mustache, My brother wears a dress. Goodness gracious, that's why I'm a mess! [Headshrinker] Yes! Doctor Elle, you really are a slob. This boy don't need a doctor, just a real good blow job. Society's played him a terrible trick, And sociologic'ly he's sick! [Trev] I am sick! [Oprnoa Chorus] He is sick, He is sick, He needs a big old dick Like He's sociologically sick! [Headshrinker] In my opinion, this child don't need to have his head shrunk at all. Homosexuality is purely a social disease! [Trev] Hey, I got a social disease! [Oprano Chorus] So take him to a social worker! [Trev] Dear kindly social worker, They tell me to just suck. Like be a big dick jerker, and then get an ass fuck. It's not I'm homosexual, I'm only anti-girl. Gloryosky! I think I'm gonna hurl! [Female social worker] Eek! Doctor Elle, you've done it again. This boy don't need just one guy, he needs a million of them. It ain't just a question of being misunderstood; Deep down inside him, a dick feels good! [Trev] A dick feels good! [Oprano chorus] A dick feels good, A dick feels good! It feels so fucking good, Deep down inside him a dick feels good! [Nick] The trouble is he's HOMO. [Sarettah] The trouble is he's Brit. [Dravyk] The trouble is he's gay. and likes the feel of a big dick. [Morgan] The trouble is he's pretty. [Toni] The trouble is he's mine. [Oprano chorus] Doctor Elle, listen to him whine! Gee, Doctor Elle, Get down on your knees, You can suck and lick us as long as you please Gee, Doctor Elle, What are we to do? Gee, Doctor Elle, Fuck you!

10-01-2005	#25
Newton It's always business, never personal! The POWER of radio Oprano Radio Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: On a golf course Posts: 4,916	Re: You Opranauts need my help ahahahaha now thats country .... __________________ Poser Bush in a mix-up over his hi-tech gizmo - ICLOD

10-01-2005	#26
sarettah Stay Out Of The Box Want to see your own Advertising Here! Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Lost in the ozone Posts: 10,318	Re: You Opranauts need my help Nope, that's West Side Story __________________ Free Adult Webcams

10-01-2005	#29
Trev Cunty Want to see your own Advertising Here! Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 10,150	Re: You Opranauts need my help I hate having to repeat myself!! WSS sucks yank ass __________________ Sucks to be you.

10-01-2005	#30
Dravyk Easy Like Sunday Morning Want to see your own Advertising Here! Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Behind a couch, somewhere in Philly Posts: 7,628	Re: You Opranauts need my help "Yank Ass"? __________________ All Of 'Em Mainstream Webmasters New: WebmasterConventions.com