You Opranauts need my help
 

Since I am on hiatus from sexines I've been reading this board and I'm shocked, shocked I tell you at the sexual problems that plague the people here.
My suggestion would be therapy for all of you, but there are a few that I see major problems with.

Morgan, my poor dear, we must talk about your obsession with cupcakes, crumpets and Kirby the dancing carrot.

Trev, I think you and your wife need counseling regarding your intimate dealings with some of the men here.

Dravyk, why is everyone here fascinated with your balls?

I'm here, please utilize my services for all your sexual questions.

Re: You Opranauts need my help
 

"You lie down, confess your sins and you are saved. Cha-ching!"

Re: You Opranauts need my help
 

It was an open relationship, I've got nothing to be ashamed of. ;)

Re: You Opranauts need my help
 

Ahh but do you have pictures? ;)

Re: You Opranauts need my help
 

Pictures... pictures... what kind of guy do you think I am?

























I've got video babeee. :yowsa:

Re: You Opranauts need my help
 

:corn:

Re: You Opranauts need my help
 

Can you cure my piles lol?

http://gaycocklibrary.pimpedhost.com/gts/gts6.jpg

Re: You Opranauts need my help
 

Yeah, come on Doc. Show us your magic, help this guy in his time of need. ;)

Re: You Opranauts need my help
 

Doc .. welcome back .. hope the teaching is going well .. :okthumb:

Can you help Top_Of_Google_Man sort his farmers? :D

Re: You Opranauts need my help
 

I was going to suggest Anusol, but thought I'd better leave it for the good Doc. ;)

Re: You Opranauts need my help
 

That was apicture I really didn't need to see!! Good advertising for Drinking Hard's gallery service though!! LOL

Re: You Opranauts need my help
 

After all those men I'm sure more than your relationship is open.
But as long as your wife is ok with it, and I hope you are at least sharing some of those men with her.

Re: You Opranauts need my help
 

Hell no!


She's more than capable of getting her own. ;)

Re: You Opranauts need my help
 

Cure them? No, I'm not a proctologist, I'm a sex therapist.

You can prevent them though, by not getting dicks stuck up your ass anymore.

Re: You Opranauts need my help
 

Sounds like you have a very healthy sexual relationship. I'll have to mention in in my next book. "Sexual Deviants and The Women Who Love Them."

Re: You Opranauts need my help
 

Excellent, I'll look forward to my free copy. ;)

Re: You Opranauts need my help
 

So you won't be advising him to "take two" and call you in the morning :yowsa:

Re: You Opranauts need my help
 

:biglaugh::biglaugh:

Re: You Opranauts need my help
 

Come on - give the lad some points ;)

Re: You Opranauts need my help
 

Done. 5 points to Dom. :)

Re: You Opranauts need my help
 

Woo hoo ! I'll be here all week, I do weddings, bar mitzvahs, internexts.... :)

Re: You Opranauts need my help
 

Well, now. Since you're a professional, I'm sure you understand a rattling good case of Anglophilia with sexual overtones. :)

As for Kirby, :cdance: , he says "Dr. Elle makes me go :yowsa: and need to :1jack: a lot!!!!!"

I like him because he's honest and cheerful. Perhaps a little too much.... :)

Re: You Opranauts need my help
 

[Trev]
Dear kindly Doctor Elle,
You gotta understand,
If it weren't for KY jelly
I couldn't have a man
I'd really like a teabag
Or just a big dick
Golly Moses, Toni thinks I'm sick!

Gee, Doctor Elle, I'm very upset;
I never got the love that ev'ry child should get.
I ain't a hoomosexual,
I'm just misunderstood.
A dick deep down inside feels so good!

[Oprano chorus]
Feels so good!

Feels so good, Feels so good,
Feels so fucking good!
Deep down inside him a dick feels good!

[Doctor Elle]
That's a touchin' good story.
Lemme tell it to the world!

[Nickatilynx]
Just tell it to your wife.

[Trev]
Dear sweet and lovely Toni,
The guys they treat me rough.
Saying "Hey blow me"
Or gagging me so much
I didn't want them to have me,
But somehow I was had.
Leapin' lizards! It didn't feel too bad!

[Toni]
Right!

Doctor Elle, you must be smoking grass;
This boy don't need a wife, he needs a dick up his ass!
It's just his latent want tos that oughta be curbed.
He's psychologic'ly disturbed!

[Trev]
I'm disturbed!

[Oprano chorus]
He's disturbed, He's disturbed,
He is the most disturbed,
Like he's psychologic'ly disturbed.

[Toni]
In the opinion of this wife, this man is depraved on account he ain't had a good stiff one.

[Trev]
Hey, I'm depraved on account I'm deprived.

[Oprano Chorus]
So take him to a headshrinker.

[Trev]
My father was a bastard,
My ma's an S.O.B.
My grandpa's always plastered,
My grandma pushes tea.
My sister wears a mustache,
My brother wears a dress.
Goodness gracious, that's why I'm a mess!

[Headshrinker]
Yes!

Doctor Elle, you really are a slob.
This boy don't need a doctor, just a real good blow job.
Society's played him a terrible trick,
And sociologic'ly he's sick!

[Trev]
I am sick!

[Oprnoa Chorus]
He is sick, He is sick,
He needs a big old dick
Like He's sociologically sick!

[Headshrinker]
In my opinion, this child don't need to have his head shrunk at all. Homosexuality is purely a social disease!

[Trev]
Hey, I got a social disease!

[Oprano Chorus]
So take him to a social worker!

[Trev]
Dear kindly social worker,
They tell me to just suck.
Like be a big dick jerker,
and then get an ass fuck.
It's not I'm homosexual,
I'm only anti-girl.
Gloryosky! I think I'm gonna hurl!

[Female social worker]
Eek!

Doctor Elle, you've done it again.
This boy don't need just one guy, he needs a million of them.
It ain't just a question of being misunderstood;
Deep down inside him, a dick feels good!

[Trev]
A dick feels good!


[Oprano chorus]
A dick feels good, A dick feels good!
It feels so fucking good,
Deep down inside him a dick feels good!

[Nick]
The trouble is he's HOMO.

[Sarettah]
The trouble is he's Brit.

[Dravyk]
The trouble is he's gay.
and likes the feel of a big dick.

[Morgan]
The trouble is he's pretty.

[Toni]
The trouble is he's mine.

[Oprano chorus]
Doctor Elle, listen to him whine!

Gee, Doctor Elle,
Get down on your knees,
You can suck and lick us as long as you please
Gee, Doctor Elle,
What are we to do?
Gee, Doctor Elle,
Fuck you!




:)

Re: You Opranauts need my help
 

:wnw:

A masterpiece :okthumb:

Re: You Opranauts need my help
 

ahahahaha now thats country ....

Re: You Opranauts need my help
 

Nope, that's West Side Story :okthumb:

Re: You Opranauts need my help
 

Now I'm more than pissed off... WSS sucks yank ass :mad:

Re: You Opranauts need my help
 

That was wonderfully creative. I love West Side Story. :okthumb:

Re: You Opranauts need my help
 

I hate having to repeat myself!!


WSS sucks yank ass :mad:

Re: You Opranauts need my help
 

"Yank Ass"? http://oprano.com/msgboard/images/smilies/wtf.gif

Re: You Opranauts need my help
 

That's 'mericun bung hole to you.

Re: You Opranauts need my help
 

Eh, go get your teeth fixed, Limey. http://oprano.com/msgboard/images/smilies/wwww.gif

Re: You Opranauts need my help
 

I've only got what they send me... cruel mother fucker :(

Re: You Opranauts need my help
 

Now I feel bad. :1puppydog

Re: You Opranauts need my help
 

Yanks and their fucking pearly whites... :p



I've got all my own teeth... minus the 4 I've lost from fighting.. someone else has them :blink: :unsure:

Re: You Opranauts need my help
 

Shoulda picked them up from the pub floor and jammed 'em back in!

Re: You Opranauts need my help
 

Some people's taste is all in their mouth.........
















:yowsa:

Re: You Opranauts need my help
 

Nick assured me it was the opposite!! bastich!!