Voodooman's Song

Dianna Vesta · 11-19-2002

Masturbation Song

You don't need to use a condom
You don't need a dental dam
You don't need to say "I Love You" or "Here's Fifty
Dollars, Ma'am."

Don't need to spring for dinner,
Or wear all that sexy stuff
All you need's a set of fingers and a wanker or a muff
'Cause everybody's doin' it, all across the land
Masturbators Of America, Give Yourselves A Hand!

It's natural, and organic
It's easy and it's fun
If you don't know how to do it ask your parents how it's done
You don't need a special license

You don't need a special skill
Just unzip and slip your grip between your hips and get a thrill
'Cause everybody's doin' it, and boy does it feel grand,
Masturbators of America, Give Yourselves a Hand!

(Musical bridge, with lots of suggestive dance moves on the
ROCKER'S part. For instance, he does that one bit where you
jump backwards on one leg while playing air guitar, except that
instead of playing air guitar he's stroking air wanker.)

You can do it in the bathroom
You can do it in your bed
You can do it at a concert while you watch the Grateful Dead
You can rub it with some lotion

You can stroke it with a cloth
Arnold Shwartzenegger pounds it, Michael Jackson jacks it off
Your attitude will soften, your horizons will expand.
Masturbators of America, Give Yourself a Hand

voodooman · 11-19-2002

I like that song.

And if you say you dont masterbate, your only lying to yourself.

Edd · 11-19-2002

Quote:

Originally posted by voodooman@Nov 19 2002, 01:41 PM
And if you say you dont masterbate, your only lying to yourself.

And Voodooman should know - he's masturbating right NOW!

11-19-2002

I don't think that was written by an American, since only pissants use words like 'wanker' or 'muff' in normal speech in this country. But it's the thought that counts.

C.

Last edited by Cal at Nov 19 2002, 01:54 PM

Edd · 11-19-2002

Quote:

Originally posted by Cal@Nov 19 2002, 04:54 PM
I don't think that was written by an American, since only pissants use words like 'wanker' or 'muff' in normal speech in this country. But it's the thought that counts.

C.

Who are you calling "pissant", you WANKER!

11-19-2002

Yeah I wasn't sure whether anyone would pick up on the irony.

When I was in college in Wisconsin people who tried to use the word wanker just sounded ridiculous. Stupid honkies.

C.

voodooman · 11-19-2002

Who you calling honky, ya wanker.

Edd · 11-19-2002

Oh come on, Voodooman... You are the EPITOME of HONKY!

ya cracker ass cracker!

voodooman · 11-19-2002

Wait just a DAMN minute here.

I'M the epitome of honky???

I live in Oklahoma, not Alabama, Arkansas, Carolina's or
Kentucky, oh sorry, forgot Louisianna.

voodooman · 11-19-2002

haha

Im a cracker your a cracker, wouldnt you like to be a cracker too?

11-19-2002	#1
Dianna Vesta Members Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: South Florida Posts: 2,087	Masturbation Song You don't need to use a condom You don't need a dental dam You don't need to say "I Love You" or "Here's Fifty Dollars, Ma'am." Don't need to spring for dinner, Or wear all that sexy stuff All you need's a set of fingers and a wanker or a muff 'Cause everybody's doin' it, all across the land Masturbators Of America, Give Yourselves A Hand! It's natural, and organic It's easy and it's fun If you don't know how to do it ask your parents how it's done You don't need a special license You don't need a special skill Just unzip and slip your grip between your hips and get a thrill 'Cause everybody's doin' it, and boy does it feel grand, Masturbators of America, Give Yourselves a Hand! (Musical bridge, with lots of suggestive dance moves on the ROCKER'S part. For instance, he does that one bit where you jump backwards on one leg while playing air guitar, except that instead of playing air guitar he's stroking air wanker.) You can do it in the bathroom You can do it in your bed You can do it at a concert while you watch the Grateful Dead You can rub it with some lotion You can stroke it with a cloth Arnold Shwartzenegger pounds it, Michael Jackson jacks it off Your attitude will soften, your horizons will expand. Masturbators of America, Give Yourself a Hand __________________ Live radio and audio downloads have a definite place in marketing and promoting products. Not only will it capture new customers but it is an excellent way to promote new products to existing customers continuing to build good customer relationships. Click here for more info

11-19-2002	#8
Edd Members Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Deadwood, you Cocksucker! Posts: 833	Oh come on, Voodooman... You are the EPITOME of HONKY! ya cracker ass cracker! __________________ You can't just cut the throat of every Cocksucker who's character it MIGHT improve!

11-19-2002	#2
voodooman Members Respin bullshit press Your Comments Are Welcomed Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 2,695	I like that song. And if you say you dont masterbate, your only lying to yourself.

11-19-2002	#4
Cal Guest Posts: n/a	I don't think that was written by an American, since only pissants use words like 'wanker' or 'muff' in normal speech in this country. But it's the thought that counts. C. Last edited by Cal at Nov 19 2002, 01:54 PM