HONEST Answer guys and gals

[RyanLanane]

What's the longest you have stayed in a relationship you knew... absolutely knew wasn't meant to be ?

I'm breaking my old previous record and I am at 2 years now I was 100% sure I shouldn't be with her, due to financial reasons and not wanting to stop seeng my kid every day.... I stay though, and please... for christ sakes don't tell me the moeny issues can be overcome - they can't. Not if I want my daughter to have not only the things she needs but a couple toys a week that are new and going out to do things normal kids do.. Money goes quick nowadays, LOL

Not asking for sympathy either, my dumbass got myself here and I could of dug myself out 2 years ago if I pulled my head out of my ass... so it's all my fault... But

As to the question, how many can relate ?

I am ready to tell Missy tomorrow I want to make the other room upstairs (3rd bedroom) my main bedroom and she can keep the master tomorrow... starting working on it as 18 months of sleeping on the fucking couch and damn you get some backaches !!!

[Newton]

2 weeks Good luck man and it is possible to live in the safe house with separate lives

[PornoDoggy]

I can relate - big time. Tried for 18 months at the longest (1st marriage); 2nd marriage STILL tried for a year.

My personal experience and observation is that a) ex-lovers make lousy roommates (been there, done that, got so pissed off I tore up that t-shirt), and b) staying together for the sake of the children just fucks up the kids and the adults over a longer period of time than an amicable (or even not-so-amicable) disolution of a failed relationship will.

I can relate to sticking around in order to see your kids but you lost me when you started talking about toys. I think they'd rather have love, and there are far better ways of showing it. There are one hell of a lot of things more important in the development of a child than "a couple toys a week that are new" - like time spent with them, reading to/with them, just TALKING to them, etc. Happy parents make better parents. Kids pick up on tension and unhappiness far better than the typical adults' ability to act happy when they aren't.

[Peaches]

8 years, but it was on/off/on/off/on/off.....We weren't seeing each other during a combined total of about 4 of those years When it was good, it was very, very good but when it was bad...... Finally ended it all about 7 years ago.

[Vick]

Well

My ex-wife and I lived in the same house together for a year and 1/2 AFTER we were divorced (which was a year or more after we knew the marriage wasn't going to work), at the time we felt it was the best thing for our son
We split the house up with her section and mine and the common areas

There wasn't a lot of fighting and NONE (at least very little that he only saw by walking in) in front of Sebastian

Now we have lived in separated dwellings for almost a year, the transitions are still occasionally tough on Sebastian but he has 2 houses and his own bedroom in both

Bottom line is obviously your child comes first
Why wait for tomorrow to work out what is best for your child's well being and future?

But what is best for your child's well being and future I have no idea

[Jace]

4 years...this bitch cunt names simone

we moved to nashville together, she cheated on me 5 times

after we broke up she became a hooker, literally

she was wild, crazy and didn't care about much, guess that was the reason I stayed with her, and the reason I finally broke up with her

I am honestly surprised I never got any diseases from her, god knows how many dudes she fucked that I didn't know about

[MorganGrayson]

Ryan...you got some great advice here from parents. Don't fall into the typical parental mistake: thinking your child needs "things." (Children need food, shelter, medical care and educational supplies...the rest are "wants." One of the best gifts you can give your child is a grasp of the difference between a "want" and a "need.")

No kid *needs* two new toys a week. All you're going to do if you do that is create a greedy kid with a sense of entitlement. (Unless you're buying books. That's different.)

Kids want *time.* They want attention. Some of the best times I ever spent with my Dad was in the garage, sitting on the concrete, playing the "hand me the 5/8" wrench next, please" game while most of him was underneath the car. I hammered a lot of nails into scrap lumber. (My mother nearly killed him when his casual remark sent me into the house asking for the container of "elbow grease" to soften my very own baseball glove.)

Our own kids spent a lot of similiar time. When one finally bought her own car, she was equipped to deal with it after the hours she logged in the driveway with her Dad. We couldn't afford shit when they were growing up, but by hell, those kids can cope with life. They didn't get "things," but they got "time."

And to answer the original question, off and on for...geeze, looking back, it was probably only a couple of years. Seemed longer. That whole period is so lost in the mists of time....

[el pres]

Originally Posted by JaceXXX

we moved to nashville together, she cheated on me 5 times

That's an Issac Hayes song ..

[Nickatilynx]

Whenever things have got rocky in my marriage I have always thought of just one word..

Love?
Kids?
Happiness?


fuck no!!!!


"Half" !


;-))))

[MorganGrayson]

Originally Posted by Nickatilynx

Whenever things have got rocky in my marriage I have always thought of just one word..

Love?
Kids?
Happiness?


fuck no!!!!


"Half" !


;-))))

Yeppers. I definitely think she'd take half of everything you own...including your penis.

[Jace]

Originally Posted by el pres

That's an Issac Hayes song ..

hahahah...yeah, i am sure it is the theme of every depressing country song too

[Nickatilynx]

Originally Posted by MorganGrayson

Yeppers. I definitely think she'd take half of everything you own...including your penis.

Why has it always got to be penis related? ;-))))



"Mrs Nickatilynx , your husband isn't very tall"
"He is lying on his back or when standing on his wallet." she retorted...


;-))

[Trev]

Originally Posted by Nickatilynx

Why has it always got to be penis related? ;-))))

Because it's Morgan.













Morgan wants your organ

[Nickatilynx]

Originally Posted by Trev

Because it's Morgan.



Morgan wants your organ

Thats it!

You've crossed the line!

See you downstairs in yr hat and coat!

;-)))


Besides its well known I have a tiny organ , and it certainly couldn't play in the Albert Hall!!!!

( runs like fuck now...)


;-)))

[Trev]

Originally Posted by Nickatilynx

Thats it!

You've crossed the line!

See you downstairs in yr hat and coat!

;-)))


Besides its well known I have a tiny organ , and it certainly couldn't play in the Albert Hall!!!!

( runs like fuck now...)


;-)))

hahahahahahah


I'm departing this thread rapidly - exit stage right

[MorganGrayson]

Originally Posted by Nickatilynx

Thats it!

You've crossed the line!

See you downstairs in yr hat and coat!

;-)))


Besides its well known I have a tiny organ , and it certainly couldn't play in the Albert Hall!!!!

( runs like fuck now...)


;-)))

BOTH of you fucking British twats better run like hell!!!

(I swear, Nick, you are so damned lucky that was funny as hell! I can not tell you the number of times your wit has saved your life!!)

[pushpills]

mmmm, year and a half, with a few 2 week breaks in there to wet my whistle elsewhere. we're done now though, havent had sex in over 2 weeks, my longest in several years.

[Trev]

Originally Posted by pushpills

mmmm, year and a half, with a few 2 week breaks in there to wet my whistle elsewhere. we're done now though, havent had sex in over 2 weeks, my longest in several years.

You're getting old.

[sweetylicious]

i'd say.. around 3 years straight.. but of course there were fights and making up with each other.. ups and downs makes the relationship stronger atleast that's how I see it.. you'll be able to assess and change for the better because of criticisms.. the good thing is you talk things over and you are always sincere to each other...people are not perfect but there are rooms for improvement...

[Biggy]

Originally Posted by MorganGrayson

Ryan...you got some great advice here from parents. Don't fall into the typical parental mistake: thinking your child needs "things." (Children need food, shelter, medical care and educational supplies...the rest are "wants." One of the best gifts you can give your child is a grasp of the difference between a "want" and a "need.")

No kid *needs* two new toys a week. All you're going to do if you do that is create a greedy kid with a sense of entitlement. (Unless you're buying books. That's different.)

Kids want *time.* They want attention. Some of the best times I ever spent with my Dad was in the garage, sitting on the concrete, playing the "hand me the 5/8" wrench next, please" game while most of him was underneath the car. I hammered a lot of nails into scrap lumber. (My mother nearly killed him when his casual remark sent me into the house asking for the container of "elbow grease" to soften my very own baseball glove.)

Our own kids spent a lot of similiar time. When one finally bought her own car, she was equipped to deal with it after the hours she logged in the driveway with her Dad. We couldn't afford shit when they were growing up, but by hell, those kids can cope with life. They didn't get "things," but they got "time."

And to answer the original question, off and on for...geeze, looking back, it was probably only a couple of years. Seemed longer. That whole period is so lost in the mists of time....

going back to the things topic of toys and such..

as a male in the mid-20s, i look back at my father, and the most precious childhood memories of him never ever were about when he gave me something. the one thing that sticks out in my mind wall all the sports teams he coached of mine growing up, or every weekend driving me around to games and always watching and truly wanting to be there and see me succeed. he did it for years and years, and sacrificed his weekends to spend with both my sister and I. its the things that cannot be bought that you remember.

[Sin]

Originally Posted by MorganGrayson

Ryan...you got some great advice here from parents. Don't fall into the typical parental mistake: thinking your child needs "things." (Children need food, shelter, medical care and educational supplies...the rest are "wants." One of the best gifts you can give your child is a grasp of the difference between a "want" and a "need.")

No kid *needs* two new toys a week. All you're going to do if you do that is create a greedy kid with a sense of entitlement. (Unless you're buying books. That's different.)

Kids want *time.* They want attention. Some of the best times I ever spent with my Dad was in the garage, sitting on the concrete, playing the "hand me the 5/8" wrench next, please" game while most of him was underneath the car. I hammered a lot of nails into scrap lumber. (My mother nearly killed him when his casual remark sent me into the house asking for the container of "elbow grease" to soften my very own baseball glove.)

Our own kids spent a lot of similiar time. When one finally bought her own car, she was equipped to deal with it after the hours she logged in the driveway with her Dad. We couldn't afford shit when they were growing up, but by hell, those kids can cope with life. They didn't get "things," but they got "time."

And to answer the original question, off and on for...geeze, looking back, it was probably only a couple of years. Seemed longer. That whole period is so lost in the mists of time....

Oh wow your post makes me nostalgic, my dad was a field mechanic for logging machinery so while he was away from home some of the time (once we were all older) I still do recall many many hours spent with him in the shop (which is larger than my parents house) working on my mom's car & stuff, just hanging out... I loved it!

I never had the typical "popular" toys and I am grateful my parents never budged & gave in or let me throw fits or anything...

In the end, toys end up being given away, lost, broken... but memories of time spent with parents lasts forever.

[sarettah]

Originally Posted by pushpills

havent had sex in over 2 weeks, my longest in several years.

Sprain your wrist ?

[MorganGrayson]

Originally Posted by Sin

Oh wow your post makes me nostalgic, my dad was a field mechanic for logging machinery so while he was away from home some of the time (once we were all older) I still do recall many many hours spent with him in the shop (which is larger than my parents house) working on my mom's car & stuff, just hanging out... I loved it!

I never had the typical "popular" toys and I am grateful my parents never budged & gave in or let me throw fits or anything...

In the end, toys end up being given away, lost, broken... but memories of time spent with parents lasts forever.

I deeply regret that I never told my father how instrumental he was in making me what I am today. He never treated me differently because I was a girl. He wanted his first to be a boy, of course, being the combat boot wearing traditionalist that he was, but he didn't reject me because I was a girl. In a way, he sort of neutered me. I remember being introduced to other combat boot wearing guys as "my kid." Always said proudly. I helped with the car; with the building he did; played catch with him in the back yard (That would have gone better if I had any depth perception, which I don't. Keeping "my eye on the ball" didn't work for me.) When my Mom finally redeemed her mountain of green stamps, I wanted a chemistry set. My Mom fussed and attempted to point me toward "girl stuff." I remember my father growling at her "if the kid wants a chemistry set...get the kid a chemistry set!" He helped me with it and we did a bunch of experiments. Never blew anything up, though....

[Nickatilynx]

Originally Posted by Biggy

going back to the things topic of toys and such..

as a male in the mid-20s, i look back at my father, and the most precious childhood memories of him never ever were about when he gave me something. the one thing that sticks out in my mind wall all the sports teams he coached of mine growing up, or every weekend driving me around to games and always watching and truly wanting to be there and see me succeed. he did it for years and years, and sacrificed his weekends to spend with both my sister and I. its the things that cannot be bought that you remember.

You should show him that post

Any dick can father a child , takes a man to be a Dad.

He was a man.

Me? I hate kids LOL , but I spend a lot of time with mine to annoy them ;-)))

[Vick]

Originally Posted by Nickatilynx

and it certainly couldn't play in the Albert Hall!!!!

( runs like fuck me now...)


;-)))

We maybe if you get a few drinks into Albert first he'd let you "play" in his hall
(or whatever is the fashionable term gay men are using now)

[MorganGrayson]

Originally Posted by Nickatilynx

You should show him that post

Any dick can father a child , takes a man to be a Dad.

He was a man.

Me? I hate kids LOL , but I spend a lot of time with mine to annoy them ;-)))

Yeah, right...on the last line.

But total on the "Dad" line.

The first time I heard my husband say "I love you, too" to my oldest daughter on the phone I had to go cry in the bathroom.
(Long story, not for today.)
She may have a shitfuck biological, but she's finally got a "Dad."

[MorganGrayson]

Originally Posted by Vick

We maybe if you get a few drinks into Albert first he'd let you "play" in his hall
(or whatever is the fashionable term gay men are using now)

Ooooh!! Nice!!!!!
Thanks, Vick!

(Does becoming aroused when someone taunts Nick make me a bad person?)

[Osiris]

Originally Posted by MorganGrayson

Ryan...you got some great advice here from parents. Don't fall into the typical parental mistake: thinking your child needs "things." (Children need food, shelter, medical care and educational supplies...the rest are "wants." One of the best gifts you can give your child is a grasp of the difference between a "want" and a "need.")

No kid *needs* two new toys a week. All you're going to do if you do that is create a greedy kid with a sense of entitlement. (Unless you're buying books. That's different.)

Kids want *time.* They want attention. Some of the best times I ever spent with my Dad was in the garage, sitting on the concrete, playing the "hand me the 5/8" wrench next, please" game while most of him was underneath the car. I hammered a lot of nails into scrap lumber. (My mother nearly killed him when his casual remark sent me into the house asking for the container of "elbow grease" to soften my very own baseball glove.)

Our own kids spent a lot of similiar time. When one finally bought her own car, she was equipped to deal with it after the hours she logged in the driveway with her Dad. We couldn't afford shit when they were growing up, but by hell, those kids can cope with life. They didn't get "things," but they got "time."

And to answer the original question, off and on for...geeze, looking back, it was probably only a couple of years. Seemed longer. That whole period is so lost in the mists of time....

What's left for me to say now?

[MorganGrayson]

Originally Posted by Osiris

What's left for me to say now?

Thanks, Osiris.


(Is there a better "smooche" smilie out there somewhere? I don't like this one and I keep coming close to clicking the other one that starts out with this kind of face...but is *not* the message I want to send!)

[Nickatilynx]

Every generation
Blames the one before
And all of their frustrations
Come beating on your door

I know that I’m a prisoner
To all my father held so dear
I know that I’m a hostage
To all his hopes and fears
I just wish I could have told him in the living years

Crumpled bits of paper
Filled with imperfect thought
Stilted conversations
I’m afraid that’s all we’ve got

You say you just don’t see it
He says it’s perfect sense
You just can’t get agreement
In this present tense
We all talk a different language
Talking in defence

Say it loud, say it clear
You can listen as well as you hear
It’s too late when we die
To admit we don’t see eye to eye

So we open up a quarrel
Between the present and the past
We only sacrifice the future
It’s the bitterness that lasts

So don’t yield to the fortunes
You sometimes see as fate
It may have a new perspective
On a different day
And if you don’t give up, and don’t give in
You may just be o.k.

Say it loud, say it clear
You can listen as well as you hear
It’s too late when we die
To admit we don’t see eye to eye

I wasn’t there that morning
When my father passed away
I didn’t get to tell him
All the things I had to say

I think I caught his spirit
Later that same year
I’m sure I heard his echo
In my baby’s new born tears
I just wish I could have told him in the living years

Say it loud, say it clear
You can listen as well as you hear
It’s too late when we die
To admit we don’t see eye to eye

[MorganGrayson]

If anybody wants me, I'll be off in the corner in tears...what that song *always* does to me...and muttering "fuck you, Nick" a lot.

[selena]

I think it was 3 or 4 years. I try not to think about it. That's rather impossible though, as a reminder of it is sleeping across the hall, snuggled down in his Star Wars comforter.

In the end, I decided he was probably better off having two parents in the free world instead of one dead and one in prison for murder.

[pushpills]

Originally Posted by sarettah

Sprain your wrist ?

my hand won't fuck me. too high standards.

[Red]

Staying together for the sake of the kids is not a good idea. As a child of that situation I can say that with certainty.

My mother was in love with the man who is now my stepfather from the time I was 2 and she waited until I left for college before she left my father. I never heard them fighting, but I also never saw real love between them and I grew up with no role model of an honest, loving relationship. I'm not saying that's the reason I went through men like Kleenex, but I'm sure it was an influence.
My mother has said for years that she is so sorry she didn't leave sooner and have my brother, myself and step siblings all raised in a house with love.

Giving the toys and the niceties, doesn't mean shit. I had pretty much everything I wanted as a child and it is no substitute for a parent's love and attention.
You can't make your children happy if you're miserable.

[Nickatilynx]

Originally Posted by pushpills

my hand won't fuck me. too high standards.

Matthew 5.30

[Red]

Originally Posted by Nickatilynx

Matthew 5.30

[Nickatilynx]

Originally Posted by Vick

We maybe if you get a few drinks into Albert first he'd let you "play" in his hall
(or whatever is the fashionable term gay men are using now)

Hmm being burned over being gay by a guy in a red and black striped suit wearing wings who hangs out with a guy who dresses like and thinks he's a pirate....

OK.....


;-)))

[gigi]

I guess I was having a sick day when the memo went out that kids need toys every week. My kids have been RIPPED all these years!

Seriously, Ryan, you've been given some VERY good advice here...not much more to say than what's been said....so, in summation:

1. Kids don't need 'stuff' to feel loved
2. Kids need your time and attention to feel loved
3. 'For the sake of the kids' is never a good reason to stay together and can be more harmful to children than an amicable split

Best of luck with it Ryan

[MorganGrayson]

One thing I *did* get to tell my dad was how much watching him and Mom taught me about how to be married. They made everything they did together "special." What mattered to them was the small things in life. They always had matching coffee mugs, with napkins and spoons, etc., laid out on the table. They were very "ritualistic" people. The evening cocktail hour was the same. A biggie event was the two of them going to the grocery or Home Depot or something. My mother sat with him while he watched sports on television. She read voraciously, so she always had a book, but would look up at the appropriate moments and make the appropriate noises.

They never said "this is how to be happily married." They just lived their life and I observed.

Observing an unhappy marriage would have given me a totally different outlook on relationships. I would have believed being miserable was "normal" and it was as good as it was going to get. Instead, I learned that matching coffee mugs and doing things together was "normal."

[Vick]

Originally Posted by Nickatilynx

Hmm being burned over being gay by a guy in a red and black striped suit wearing wings who hangs out with a guy who dresses like and thinks he's a pirate....

OK.....


;-)))

Would you please stand between us in the green housedress for class picture day? ;-)

[Nickatilynx]

Originally Posted by Vick

Would you please stand between us in the green housedress for class picture day? ;-)

You have my fucking house camed!!! ;-))

[DrGuile]

"What's The Matter With Parents Today?"

Mom and dad
How'd you get so rad?
When exactly did you get so hip?

Wearing teenage clothes
You're always coming to my shows
And telling me that I should mellow out

It's absurd
They're singing every word
You're not supposed to like my band
Things I like you don't understand

So please put down that rum and Coke
That's not behaviour for old folk
Can we just hang on holidays
Dad and mom
What planet are you from?
And what convinced you to pack up and leave
Doing drugs
And asking me for hugs
What's the matter with parents today?

Not again
When will it end?
Dad's dressing like Motley Crue
And why is moms hair dyed bright blue?

And stayin' out till 2 or 3
Then having sex publicly
I thought the apple fell far from the tree

Mom and dad, I think you ought
To quit smoking so much pot
And hanging with my friends

Laying round, on the couch
With my Misfits records out
Softly banging your head

Maybe its just a passing phase
What's the matter with my parents these days?

[*KK*]

Teaching your children to repeat your own stupid patterns is a no no.

[DannyCox]

24 years, and I'm still living it!

[nlphoto]

Gettin in a little late in this, but but worth it for me to post from a dialup... (thanks, SBC... fukkers).

Originally Posted by Vick

There wasn't a lot of fighting and NONE (at least very little that he only saw by walking in) in front of Sebastian

He saw more than you know...

Originally Posted by JaceXXX

she was wild, crazy and didn't care about much, guess that was the reason I stayed with her, and the reason I finally broke up with her

of course, the sex was off the wall, right?... it's the only reason men will put up with the drama...

Originally Posted by sweetylicious

but of course there were fights and making up with each other.. ups and downs makes the relationship stronger at least that's how I see it..

BS... you get in half the fights, because the makeup sex is THAT good...

Originally Posted by Vick

Would you please stand between us in the green housedress for class picture day? ;-)

sure you don't want to go for the leprechan outfit ?


anyway my own ... 2 years... and I should have walked away after a month...

.

[Vick]

Originally Posted by Nickatilynx

You have my fucking house camed!!! ;-))

Now that you know will you accept $2.95 per minute?


Chris thought your post was hilarious

[Vick]

Originally Posted by nlphoto

Gettin in a little late in this, but but worth it for me to post from a dialup... (thanks, SBC... fukkers).

Originally Posted by Vick
There wasn't a lot of fighting and NONE (at least very little that he only saw by walking in) in front of Sebastian


He saw more than you know...
.

You probably have a point but we tried very hard


Sebastian now has a framed black and white photo of himself and Chris (my fiancée) in his bedroom at his mother's house


He asked if Chris would take a photo him and Daddy next week while we are at Disney World so he could have one of him with everybody in his bedroom at his mother's house

[Nickatilynx]

Originally Posted by Vick

Now that you know will you accept $2.95 per minute?


Chris thought your post was hilarious

Sshe is a lady of obvious exquisite taste. Finding me amusing , and loving you


btw...

2.95 a MINUTE.... are you crazy???!!!!

I'd make 4.35 then have to have a pizza , make a lot of excuses ,and take some more viagra.

;-))

[Nickatilynx]

Originally Posted by Vick

You probably have a point but we tried very hard


Sebastian now has a framed black and white photo of himself and Chris (my fiancée) in his bedroom at his mother's house


He asked if Chris would take a photo him and Daddy next week while we are at Disney World so he could have one of him with everybody in his bedroom at his mother's house

OH!

I can have a 8x10 glossy done of this for your collection

[Top_Of_Google_Man]

more years than i wanna remember...........