Colin's Post About Jamaica

kath · 03-01-2005

Posts on Oprano get me thinking quite often, but I've really been thinking about what Colin said - about how we don't talk to our neighbors, aren't involved in the community... how we have detatched in a way, and whether or not the Internet has influenced this new way of "being."

As I talked with friends and colleagues via IM/email/phone - and heard my kids talking about their various friends online this week I realized something. Even though our online friendships might not be "real life" ones with people next door, involving us in our local communities - many of these relationships have a richness and depth that "real life" ones sometimes just can't support.

You might wave hello to a neighbor that you share a fence with, might even have them over or your kids might play together regularly - but how MUCH of a relationship do you really have with them? I have fond memories of my neighborhood as a kid - but the people that lived there were "supporting actors" on my stage of life - not main characters. The main characters lived on other streets, in other cities and sometimes in other countries. In many ways, they were part of the scenery.

Friends who are going through personal trials and need to voice their fears or worries - things they might not have said to me over the phone, or been able to discuss face-to-face without fear of breaking down completely... they are able to accomplish this online via IM, email or private chat. They can confide, confess, talk "out loud" to someone who is listening and isn't personally involved, won't judge (most times - lol) and will support... they can go to chat rooms and boards to meet like-minded people and discuss topics/issues that family and neighbors might not necessary appreciate... for every negative - there IS a positive.

Anyway... just wanted to share that here since that post is what got me thinking about it... Change is good. This might be good too.

Dravyk · 03-01-2005

Like Enforcer ICQing me when he's drunk.

Almighty Colin · 03-01-2005

Kath, EXCELLENT post. I prefer your way of looking at it.

Peaches · 03-01-2005

I think our transient society contributes to the lack of closeness with neighbors. We moved a lot when I was a kid thanks to the AF and IBM and I've moved as an adult in attempt to find a better neighborhood and school when my finances would support it.

Online, we never move. We can move physically from country to country, but when I can reach my Dad 60 miles away with the same ease I can reach someone in another country, I tend to keep the bonds there without breaking or weakening them when someone physically leaves.

I remember moving as a child and going to my Dad's office to call friends we'd left behind on the WATS lines and of course writing letters. As time goes by, you make new friends and don't make the effort. I probably talk more to my HS friends via email these days than on the phone or in person.

Almighty Colin · 03-01-2005

Quote:

Originally posted by Peaches@Mar 1 2005, 03:27 PM
I think our transient society contributes to the lack of closeness with neighbors. We moved a lot when I was a kid thanks to the AF and IBM and I've moved as an adult in attempt to find a better neighborhood and school when my finances would support it.

Online, we never move. We can move physically from country to country, but when I can reach my Dad 60 miles away with the same ease I can reach someone in another country, I tend to keep the bonds there without breaking or weakening them when someone physically leaves.

I remember moving as a child and going to my Dad's office to call friends we'd left behind on the WATS lines and of course writing letters. As time goes by, you make new friends and don't make the effort. I probably talk more to my HS friends via email these days than on the phone or in person.

Yeah, very true; and Jamaicans are stuck together on a small island.

kath · 03-01-2005

Quote:

Originally posted by Peaches@Mar 1 2005, 12:27 PM
I think our transient society contributes to the lack of closeness with neighbors. We moved a lot when I was a kid thanks to the AF and IBM and I've moved as an adult in attempt to find a better neighborhood and school when my finances would support it.

Online, we never move. We can move physically from country to country, but when I can reach my Dad 60 miles away with the same ease I can reach someone in another country, I tend to keep the bonds there without breaking or weakening them when someone physically leaves.

I remember moving as a child and going to my Dad's office to call friends we'd left behind on the WATS lines and of course writing letters. As time goes by, you make new friends and don't make the effort. I probably talk more to my HS friends via email these days than on the phone or in person.

Excellent point Peaches.

We moved from Ohio to California when I was 16. I kept in touch with my friends for about 2 years... spotty contact, on and off - days of sky-high phone bills and my dad yelling at me to stop calling... letters that went unanswered for months at a time....

Years later I found my former best friend on AOL... we chatted on IM but really didn't have much to say except "remember whens" and "so-and-so is now married and has kids or is divorce from you-know-who." After about 6 months of trying the emails stopped, the IMs disappeared and we lost touch, this time knowing that it was a forever kind of thing.

I can't imagine how hard it would be to be a military brat. When our son was born I pushed hub to get out of the Army. He didn't renew and we left Oklahoma. Best decision of our lives IMHO. That would truly be hard to move so much.

Online we never move. I like that.

SykkBoy · 03-01-2005

Quote:

Originally posted by Dravyk@Mar 1 2005, 03:04 PM
Like Enforcer ICQing me when he's drunk.

at least he only iCQ's you...when my phone rings at 1am, I generallly know who it is ;-)))

although our number if one off of Enterprise Rent-A-Car, so once in awhile, it's not him ;-))))

nlphoto · 03-01-2005

Quote:

Originally posted by Richard Bach wrote in "Illusions"
Your friends will know you better in the first minute you meet them than your acquaintences will know you in a thousand years.

The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other's life... Rarely do members of one family grow up under the same roof.

dokk · 03-02-2005

rokk on to the maxx

kath · 03-02-2005

Quote:

« Previous Thread | Next Thread »

Originally posted by nlphoto+Mar 1 2005, 01:56 PM-->
QUOTE (nlphoto @ Mar 1 2005, 01:56 PM)

kath

View Public Profile

Find More Posts by kath

Bookmarks

Google

Thread Tools

Show Printable Version

Email this Page

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads You may not post replies You may not post attachments You may not edit your posts BB code is On Smilies are On [IMG] code is On HTML code is On

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 06:41 PM..

03-01-2005	#2
Dravyk Easy Like Sunday Morning Want to see your own Advertising Here! Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Behind a couch, somewhere in Philly Posts: 7,628	Like Enforcer ICQing me when he's drunk. __________________ All Of 'Em Mainstream Webmasters New: WebmasterConventions.com

03-01-2005	#3
Almighty Colin Members Want to see your own Advertising Here! Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 8,059	Kath, EXCELLENT post. I prefer your way of looking at it. __________________ Almighty Content. Your one stop for live content. Secret Friends, LATINA Secret Friends , My Cam Friends

03-01-2005	#4
Peaches Members Want to see your own Advertising Here! Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Hills of N. GA Posts: 10,823	I think our transient society contributes to the lack of closeness with neighbors. We moved a lot when I was a kid thanks to the AF and IBM and I've moved as an adult in attempt to find a better neighborhood and school when my finances would support it. Online, we never move. We can move physically from country to country, but when I can reach my Dad 60 miles away with the same ease I can reach someone in another country, I tend to keep the bonds there without breaking or weakening them when someone physically leaves. I remember moving as a child and going to my Dad's office to call friends we'd left behind on the WATS lines and of course writing letters. As time goes by, you make new friends and don't make the effort. I probably talk more to my HS friends via email these days than on the phone or in person. __________________ Peaches@onlinebeach.com ICQ# 36734533

03-01-2005	#1
kath Members Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: California, USA Posts: 1,340	Posts on Oprano get me thinking quite often, but I've really been thinking about what Colin said - about how we don't talk to our neighbors, aren't involved in the community... how we have detatched in a way, and whether or not the Internet has influenced this new way of "being." As I talked with friends and colleagues via IM/email/phone - and heard my kids talking about their various friends online this week I realized something. Even though our online friendships might not be "real life" ones with people next door, involving us in our local communities - many of these relationships have a richness and depth that "real life" ones sometimes just can't support. You might wave hello to a neighbor that you share a fence with, might even have them over or your kids might play together regularly - but how MUCH of a relationship do you really have with them? I have fond memories of my neighborhood as a kid - but the people that lived there were "supporting actors" on my stage of life - not main characters. The main characters lived on other streets, in other cities and sometimes in other countries. In many ways, they were part of the scenery. Friends who are going through personal trials and need to voice their fears or worries - things they might not have said to me over the phone, or been able to discuss face-to-face without fear of breaking down completely... they are able to accomplish this online via IM, email or private chat. They can confide, confess, talk "out loud" to someone who is listening and isn't personally involved, won't judge (most times - lol) and will support... they can go to chat rooms and boards to meet like-minded people and discuss topics/issues that family and neighbors might not necessary appreciate... for every negative - there IS a positive. Anyway... just wanted to share that here since that post is what got me thinking about it... Change is good. This might be good too.

03-02-2005	#9
dokk Members Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 145	rokk on to the maxx