In Honor of Stupid People

jimmyf · 11-17-2003

some of these maybe OLD.

In Honor of Stupid People

In case you needed further proof that the human race is
doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on
consumer goods.

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.
(Damn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a! bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase
necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."
(and that would be how???....)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion:
Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):
"Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot
after heating."
(...and you thought????...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on
body."
(but wouldn't this save me more time)?

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or
operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction
accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off
those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and...I'm taking this because???....)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or
outdoor use only."
(as opposed to...what)?

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the
other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit
curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions:
Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment
does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with
your hands or genitals."

Last edited by jimmyf at Nov 17 2003, 01:12 PM

Trev · 11-18-2003

Hahahaha

I like those, especially:

Quote:

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with
your hands or genitals."

Winetalk.com · 11-18-2003

I woke my dog with laughter!
;-))))

Carrie · 11-18-2003

Quote:

Originally posted by jimmyf@Nov 17 2003, 04:12 PM
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."

Stepping on it with your foot or squeezing it between your buttocks is perfectly okay, though.

TeenGodFather · 11-18-2003

Quote:

Originally posted by jimmyf@Nov 17 2003, 01:12 PM
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions:
Open packet, eat nuts."

Hehehhe.

Well, duh!
Those warnings are just so that nobody can sue for ridiculous reasons (..and win in the good old usa).

I almost killed myself laughing when I got a playboy shirt I ordered from us, and the plastic bag it was in was FILLED with warnings, such as
"This plastic bag is not a toy"
"Do not give to children without supervision"
"Do not put your head in the bag"
etc etc...
Well, no shit sherlocks.

TeenGodFather · 11-18-2003

..and I also realize without warnings that the coffee I get from McD might be hot, I don't need a fucking warning on the cup.

mojobill · 11-18-2003

Well.. unfortunately those warnings ARE necessary, given the overall intelligence level of most people.....

Case in point ( True Story )

Young ladie comes into the employment office of a 'name' Telco to fill out an application....

Form Reads " SEX ____ "

Lady writes..." Yes... Once"

11-17-2003	#1
jimmyf Members Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: California Posts: 249	some of these maybe OLD. In Honor of Stupid People In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods. On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (Damn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair). On a! bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)? On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how???....) On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion). On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)! On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought????...) On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time)? On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.) On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and...I'm taking this because???....) On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what)? On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.) On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash) On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?) On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.) On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." Last edited by jimmyf at Nov 17 2003, 01:12 PM __________________ Fast-Size for you Pencil dick Webmasters will work for your surfers also AdRiches Casino PAYS Webmasters daily

11-18-2003	#3
Winetalk.com Prostate Examiner I quoff fine wine at corkd.com Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: good 'ole USA Posts: 21,018	I woke my dog with laughter! ;-)))) __________________ why dogs sniff each other butts?

11-18-2003	#6
TeenGodFather Members Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 623	..and I also realize without warnings that the coffee I get from McD might be hot, I don't need a fucking warning on the cup. __________________ I may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. I really am an idiot.

11-18-2003	#7
mojobill Thinks Negative Rep Points on GFY Matters Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Michgan Posts: 686	Well.. unfortunately those warnings ARE necessary, given the overall intelligence level of most people..... Case in point ( True Story ) Young ladie comes into the employment office of a 'name' Telco to fill out an application.... Form Reads " SEX ____ " Lady writes..." Yes... Once"