Real names on a message board

[MorganGrayson]

Once again, I am flushed with power and start my own thread rather than wade through posts to attempt to find the question.

Yes, rhetorical, quite often it is the custom to use *SOME* real names on a message board.

Dravyk has unwittingly volunteered for this - mostly because he knows what "unwittingly" means.

"Dravyk" is "Harry." "Dravyk" has been "Harry" since 1997. (Actually, he was "Harry" for a good deal longer than that. Way before "Dravyk" came along.) There have been many threads that started with "Harry - Call Me!" There's probably more than one "Harry," "Harold" or whatever out there in adult internet land...but it was "Dravyk" that picked up the phone in response to this post.

A lot of other people are the same. They respond to their nicks or their real names. I'm not one of those people. I'm always "Morgan" on the boards, but that's not what it says on my driver's license. I am my real name with certain people in ICQ and e-mail, however. It makes me smile when these people address me by my real name. I don't want the entire adult 'net doing it, though.

I can run down a mental list of people that I know respond to both their nicks and real names. I also have a mental list of those who only use nicks, even though I know their real names.

My only point is that it's very easy to get these two lists confused. Posting *to* a particular person feels quite like speaking to them, and one can forget the world at large is reading along. Sometimes it *is* custom to use real names. Sometimes it is not. And sometimes, more often than we'd like, mistakes happen.

I hope that helped. Or, if nothing else, was mildly pleasant to read.

[softball]

Or sometimes the use of real names is an attempt to intimidate. Like in the case of Evil Chris or Jeff Miller or Jon Allaby using my name. There is no other reason. Evil seems to have been strangely silent on this one.

[MorganGrayson]

Originally Posted by rhetorical

Or sometimes the use of real names is an attempt to intimidate. Like in the case of Evil Chris or Jeff Miller or Jon Allaby using my name. There is no other reason. Evil seems to have been strangely silent on this one.

OK, I admit. I left out that possibility. I live in my own rather unique little world at times.

I don't want to think that's what Chris did. I like him a lot, have for years. Longer than we'd both rather think about, probably. I'd much prefer to believe it was an error.

Also, if analyzed logically, it was a poor attempt at intimidation, if you elect to put that interpretation on it. I don't know you (I don't believe, I have a miserable memory at times) but from what I've gathered from your posts, it would take a great deal more than that to intimidate you. Irritate you, perhaps, but certainly not intimidate you.

We work in a fragile world with an ineffective method of communication. Grown people click on "smilies" to make sure they're not misunderstood. We are victims of our own realities, too. A bad day in the "real world" can create havoc in our virtual existence where we can take out our frustrations or pain on a made up name, forgetting completely that behind this made up name is a very real person. I can't tell you the number of times the fact that my physical pain was amping its way up the 10 scale and I took personally something I should have just ignored - and would have just ignored if I wasn't typing under the influence of Vicodin.

[Sabby]

Originally Posted by rhetorical

Or sometimes the use of real names is an attempt to intimidate. Like in the case of Evil Chris or Jeff Miller or Jon Allaby using my name. There is no other reason. Evil seems to have been strangely silent on this one.

YOU threatened to post mine on this board before. You even posted the first letter. I dont even know how you found it out. I have never done any business with you.

You seem to know alot about me. I find that strange.

That's one of the reasons why I always thought you are a stalker.


Sabby

[MorganGrayson]

Originally Posted by Sabby

YOU threatened to post mine on this board before. You even posted the first letter. I dont even know how you found it out. I have never done any business with you.

You seem to know alot about me. I find that strange.

That's one of the reasons why I always thought you are a stalker.


Sabby

Oh, please no. Not Sabby. Rhetorical, tell me that you didn't try and hurt Sabby.

This is usually the part where my icq lights up with a screaming "when are you going to fucking learn not to be so damned nice?!?!?!"

[Dianna Vesta]

Originally Posted by MorganGrayson

Oh, please no. Not Sabby. Rhetorical, tell me that you didn't try and hurt Sabby.

This is usually the part where my icq lights up with a screaming "when are you going to fucking learn not to be so damned nice?!?!?!"

Get 'em!

[MorganGrayson]

Originally Posted by Dianna Vesta

Get 'em!

Dianna, I swear I can't win. I made a conscious decision to post intelligent, friendly posts to rhetorical...and that's what I got back. "So far so good," I thought to myself. "See, be nice - get nice."

But...Sabby. Sabby is one of those people. She always has been. She's always been nothing but nice to me. Intelligent, funny, witty, totally professional...a person can't help but love the woman. (I've even forgiven her for being so damned beautiful!)

It scares me that she's so damned vulnerable because of what she does for a living. There are a lot of clients of hers that can't separate reality from fantasy. Not too long ago a former cam girl of hers was murdered. Unsurprisingly, the realization that someone threatened to publish her personal details turned my stomach.

I'm sitting here with my stomach turning, hoping I think of something to say or do next.

[Winetalk.com]

Graham, what is your last name? I forgot, it doesn't stick in my head for lack of achievements...

[softball]

Originally Posted by Sabby

YOU threatened to post mine on this board before. You even posted the first letter. I dont even know how you found it out. I have never done any business with you.

You seem to know alot about me. I find that strange.

That's one of the reasons why I always thought you are a stalker.


Sabby

Sabby, everyone knew your freeking name. There are, at last count 26 letters in the alphabet.

[softball]

Originally Posted by Dianna Vesta

Get 'em!

You get em, DV. LOL.

[softball]

Originally Posted by MorganGrayson

Dianna, I swear I can't win. I made a conscious decision to post intelligent, friendly posts to rhetorical...and that's what I got back. "So far so good," I thought to myself. "See, be nice - get nice."

But...Sabby. Sabby is one of those people. She always has been. She's always been nothing but nice to me. Intelligent, funny, witty, totally professional...a person can't help but love the woman. (I've even forgiven her for being so damned beautiful!)

It scares me that she's so damned vulnerable because of what she does for a living. There are a lot of clients of hers that can't separate reality from fantasy. Not too long ago a former cam girl of hers was murdered. Unsurprisingly, the realization that someone threatened to publish her personal details turned my stomach.

I'm sitting here with my stomach turning, hoping I think of something to say or do next.

I have made a pact to be nice to Sabby. However, I will say only one thing and I do not want to continue this because of said pact. Over the years Sabby has had many stalkers. More than any web girl that has ever posted on boards. It is an accusation she trots out regularly but it is so far from the truth as to be ludicrous. There are laws against stalking. It is illegal. If it were true, then charges should be laid. It will never happen, because it never happened. End of story. Sabby and I have a long and colourful history of locking horns that I think should end now. I hope this is my last word on this never ending topic.

[softball]

Originally Posted by MorganGrayson

Oh, please no. Not Sabby. Rhetorical, tell me that you didn't try and hurt Sabby.

This is usually the part where my icq lights up with a screaming "when are you going to fucking learn not to be so damned nice?!?!?!"

OK. I am telling you that.

[softball]

Originally Posted by Winetalk.com

Graham, what is your last name? I forgot, it doesn't stick in my head for lack of achievements...

My last name?.....Ivanovich.

[softball]

Originally Posted by rhetorical

My last name?.....Ivanovich.

Oh yeah, Serge. I forgot to mention my real first name is Ivan

[Jace]

you all know my name, Jace....you can call me Joseph if you want (my first name), but I probably won't answer cause I have never gone by it...LOL

I try and usually be respectful of people's real names, whether I like them or not....in fact, most of the time I don't know real first names just because I don't bother to find out, it doesn't really interest me unless I am in a face to face meeting....only then is it hard to keep calling someone by something I know isn't their real name

"hey there cockinassboy, how ya doin today?" haha

[Lisa]

My nick IS my name...but that's my choice.

There are some people whom I address by their real names, TE, Hooper, Trey from Epic (who everyone knows is Trey anyway), occasionally Grimm, CJ, Sykk, MikeAI (who's real name isn't all that different anyway).

These are people who a] I have known for a long time, b] I have met in real life and c] I know don't have a problem with it.

I wouldn't do it as intimidation...but then I'm not terribly intimidating anyway.

[voodooman]

Hi, my name is Kirk.

[MorganGrayson]

Originally Posted by Lisa

I wouldn't do it as intimidation...but then I'm not terribly intimidating anyway.

I don't know, Lisa. You've always made me quiver.

Hi, Kirk, ya big stud, you!


OK, rhetorical...you and I go back to having intelligent conversations on all manner of subjects.

Blessed are the peacemakers...for they are generally the ones shot first.

It's been my role for so damned long I'm used to it.

[spazlabz]

Hi my name is Jim Williams, its about as common as Bob Smith... Joe Brown. Big ****ing deal if someone knows my real name. I'm not in front of the camera.
Here is the funny part. I have a friend that I have had for years... we talk on the phone quite often. This guy has NEVER called me anything other then spaz.....cracks me up... so I only call him by his nick. my whole family refers to him by his nick. if he ever called up and said "Hi is Jim there? Tell him ______ is on the phone" There'd probably be a 15 minute conversation trying to figure out who it was LOL


spaz

[urb]

This is an interesting article about using your real name online.
http://news.com.com/Create+an+e-anno...2491&subj=news

[MorganGrayson]

It's illegal to annoy

A new federal law states that when you annoy someone on the Internet, you must disclose your identity. Here's the relevant language.

"Whoever...utilizes any device or software that can be used to originate telecommunications or other types of communications that are transmitted, in whole or in part, by the Internet... without disclosing his identity and with intent to annoy, abuse, threaten, or harass any person...who receives the communications...shall be fined under title 18 or imprisoned not more than two years, or both."

urb...thanks for the article. I pulled out a small part of it to quote, and I do so agree with Declan McCullagh, the author of the article. "Annoy"??? It's now illegal to "annoy" people?

Somebody call McGruff, the Crime Dog. I want the entire Executive and Legislative branches put under arrest. They annoy me.

There. We are now safe.

[Dravyk]

Originally Posted by Lisa

My nick IS my name...but that's my choice.

There are some people whom I address by their real names, TE, Hooper, Trey from Epic (who everyone knows is Trey anyway), occasionally Grimm, CJ, Sykk, MikeAI (who's real name isn't all that different anyway).

These are people who a] I have known for a long time, b] I have met in real life and c] I know don't have a problem with it.

I wouldn't do it as intimidation...but then I'm not terribly intimidating anyway.

Well said!

Pretty much if I know them and I know they won't be annoyed (ironic with the news article mention), I'll do it. If I don't know them that well, I wouldn't use their real name.

Oh you can call me Ray or you can call me Jay, or you can call me RJ, or you can me Johnson ...

[TheEnforcer]

Quite an interesting discussion going on here. It's definately not a black and white issue to be sure. Some people don't like it at all and some people could care less and some are somewhere in between.

[TheLegacy]

for those of us who have been around a while and have family / friends who surf the net - it is commonly known not to use real names or alter your own so that if someone does a search they aren't going to get slammed with porn and shock them out if you have decided not to speak a word of your business life with them.

I use TheLegacy - and those that know me say Robert. Much of my family knows that i work in the industry and I am not ashamed of it... yet another reason for using it outside of privacy is this industry is also run on atmosphere and perceived popularity. The more someone is loved and talked about .. the more attention is drawn to their program.

[MorganGrayson]

TE...no, this, like most issues, isn't black and white.

Dravyk...that's the key: knowing the people to whom you are speaking or referring. I would never use the real name of someone if I wasn't absolutely certain it wasn't already in general usage and my relationship with said person had evolved to the point where I felt it was appropriate to address the person by name.

If rhetorical wouldn't mind serving as an example: if he had not expressed displeasure at the use of his name and I had just read someone else using it, our relationship has not evolved to a point where I would feel comfortable using it *myself,* even if it was appropriate for others to do so. Many conversations down the line...perhaps.

To add a bit of humor to an otherwise serious thread: has anyone else driven their nearest and dearest nearly out of their minds by discussing their workday and referring to a friend or associate by both their real name *and* their nick...in the same sentence? My husband has become apoplectic trying to follow one of my monologues when I've done that. "Are A and B the SAME person? Who is C? C has the same nickname as the REAL NAME of D! YOU'RE DRIVING ME CRAZY!! PICK A NAME AND STICK WITH IT BUT STOP USING BOTH!"

I've tried. I can't. He's getting better at remembering the players, though.