Democrats or Republicans?

dantheman · 11-02-2004

Question: How do you tell the difference between Democrats, Republicans and Southern Republicans?

The answer can be found by posing the following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.

Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges.

You're carrying a Glock 9 mm, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?

Democrat's Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
Does the man look poor or Oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could we run! away?
What does my wife think?
What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1? Why is this street so deserted?
We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing!
I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.

Republican's Answer:

BANG!

Southern Republican's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click....(sounds of
reloading).

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click

Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips??"

Almighty Colin · 11-02-2004

I'm an expert shot. I shot the knife out of his hand and then shot him in the leg.

RawAlex · 11-02-2004

Dan, the republicans would send in the national guard to shoot eveyrone that looks like this guy. They would outlaw knives, and pass the "knife patriot act" that would allow them to check homes and businesses for knives without a warrant. People found to know about knives would be put in a prison in Cuba for a couple of years, marked as "enemy combatants", and denied basic human rights.

Nice attempt at a smear, though.

Alex

Mike AI · 11-02-2004

Quote:

Originally posted by RawAlex@Nov 2 2004, 09:22 AM
Dan, the republicans would send in the national guard to shoot eveyrone that looks like this guy. They would outlaw knives, and pass the "knife patriot act" that would allow them to check homes and businesses for knives without a warrant. People found to know about knives would be put in a prison in Cuba for a couple of years, marked as "enemy combatants", and denied basic human rights.

Nice attempt at a smear, though.

Alex

Nah, we only want to do this to Canadians!

XXXPhoto · 11-02-2004

Dan... guess I'm from different south... fat cat repubs come down here in fall for deer season and the words 'nice grouping' rarely apply... lol... They DO have some damn nice looking rifles though!!

Dravyk · 11-02-2004

Naw, a Republican wouldn't be going down a deserted street on foot anyway, he'd be chauffeured down it in a limo with bullet proof glass.

Not to mention ... he wouldn't have the wife and kids along, cause if he's in that part of town for any reason it would be to go see a hooker.

BUZZZZZZ! Sorry, example invalided for extreme lack of reality.

11-02-2004	#1
dantheman Members Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 1,878	Question: How do you tell the difference between Democrats, Republicans and Southern Republicans? The answer can be found by posing the following question: You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges. You're carrying a Glock 9 mm, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do? Democrat's Answer: Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or Oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run! away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? Should I call 9-1-1? Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior. This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus. Republican's Answer: BANG! Southern Republican's Answer: BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click....(sounds of reloading). BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips??" __________________ "Never argue with an idiot....he will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience."

11-02-2004	#2
Almighty Colin Members Want to see your own Advertising Here! Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 8,059	I'm an expert shot. I shot the knife out of his hand and then shot him in the leg. __________________ Almighty Content. Your one stop for live content. Secret Friends, LATINA Secret Friends , My Cam Friends

11-02-2004	#3
RawAlex Members $100 for every ImLive sign-up Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 4,036	Dan, the republicans would send in the national guard to shoot eveyrone that looks like this guy. They would outlaw knives, and pass the "knife patriot act" that would allow them to check homes and businesses for knives without a warrant. People found to know about knives would be put in a prison in Cuba for a couple of years, marked as "enemy combatants", and denied basic human rights. Nice attempt at a smear, though. Alex __________________ Let's go to the edge of disaster Push the pedal and go a little faster Let's slam into a wall at ramming speed Let's go to the edge of a mountain Jump off and lets start countin' Hit the ground and tell me if it bleeds

11-02-2004	#5
XXXPhoto Members Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 1,048	Dan... guess I'm from different south... fat cat repubs come down here in fall for deer season and the words 'nice grouping' rarely apply... lol... They DO have some damn nice looking rifles though!! __________________ Intersmart.com - Avatars, Favorite Icons, Custom Smilies, Cartoon Caricatures and more...

11-02-2004	#6
Dravyk Easy Like Sunday Morning Want to see your own Advertising Here! Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Behind a couch, somewhere in Philly Posts: 7,628	Naw, a Republican wouldn't be going down a deserted street on foot anyway, he'd be chauffeured down it in a limo with bullet proof glass. Not to mention ... he wouldn't have the wife and kids along, cause if he's in that part of town for any reason it would be to go see a hooker. BUZZZZZZ! Sorry, example invalided for extreme lack of reality. __________________ All Of 'Em Mainstream Webmasters New: WebmasterConventions.com