Reenactment

Buff · 12-09-2003

Fort Worth resident Chante Mallard was convicted in June of murder
and sentenced to 50 years in prison for her role in the death of Gregory Biggs,
a homeless man who she struck with her car and then stowed in her garage with
the victim stuck headfirst through her windshield. According to police reports,
Mallard returned to the garage periodically to apologize to Biggs,
but never summoned emergency help.

2:17 a.m.

MALLARD: Mr. Biggs, is you still in here?

BIGGS: Oh, god.

MALLARD: I’m sorry I left you out here but I had to get them shoes off, honey.
They about squeeze my shrimps to death but, damn, they make Chante legs look
good.

BIGGS: Please, I’m…

MALLARD: Well, hell, you know, you were staring at em half the way home. Yo
head all bobbing. Damn, you come busting through that windshield like some
nappy-headed air bag, Chante almost wet herself.

BIGGS: Arrrr…

MALLARD: I brought you some Triscuits with some of that squeezy cheese. Did
you be wanting some refreshments?

BIGGS: Oh…

MALLARD: No? Oh, I love me some Triscuits now. Chante gonna get her snack on.
You know what I love about Triscuits?

BIGGS: Uhhh…

MALLARD: They three time better than biscuits. Count it out now. A biscuit
just two, but a Triscuit be three time good. Now if somebody come up with a
Quadriscuit, Chante gonna give her heart to Jesus.

BIGGS: I can’t brea…

MALLARD: Now if they can get chicken in a biscuit, how come they can’t…oh
hell, there the phone. I’ll be right back, baby. Did you need anything?

2:28 a.m.

MALLARD: Oh, you ain’t gonna believe this, honey. Okay, so that’s Jamal on
the phone. You ain’t met Jamal yet, but you will. And he all in my face saying
Chamiqua call him and say she seen me driving home from the club with a man in
my car. Right?

BIGGS: Ooooh….

MALLARD: And he sayin horrible ugly things. Going off, I’m a skanky whore
this and a lying bitch that and everything and I just let him go right on talkin,
making a fool of hisself. You know?

BIGGS: Oh, God.

MALLARD: And I say, Mmm hmmm, did she happen to mention that man sticking
through my windshield? No, I knew the whore wouldn’t tell him that cause she all
over Jamal. That’s how she is.

BIGGS: Please…

MALLARD: And Jamal all, is there a man over at your house or not, girl? Yes
or no? And I say, you know what, you don’t take that tone with me. Okay? Cause
I had a really bad night, Jamal.

BIGGS: I can’t…

MALLARD: And he all, you think you had a bad night? I gotta hear you’re out
whoring around. And I say, okay, but do you gotta dead man sticking through a
windshield you just paid 200 dollar to get tinted? You got that? Is that a bad
enough night for yo whiny ass?

BIGGS: Please, God.

MALLARD: Um hmm, that shut his ass up all right. And then he all sorry and
his voice get all low like he gonna come over and get him some. Baby, I’m sorry
and baby, you know I love you. And I ain’t having none of that.

BIGGS: My leg…

MALLARD: And then he all, what do you say we go see Training Day tomorrow
night, cause he know I love me some Denzel. Mmmm, first time I laid eyes on
Denzel, I told my girl LaTrina, I said, girl, I’m just gonna leave my pussy at will
call for Denzel and he can pick it up anytime he want.

BIGGS: Owww…

MALLARD: I may loan it out, but it belong to Denzel. You know what I’m sayin?
That’s my little joke with Jamal. I always tell him, you may not live in
Denzel’s house, and you may not ride in his car, but you damn sure ridin in his
pussy.

BIGGS: Could you please…

MALLARD: So, anyway, he coming over later. When you see him, don’t mention
that thing over his eye, now. He got some sort of Aaron Neville-looking thing
bout to pop out of his forehead. It’s all I can do to look at it, but don’t you
be staring at it. Not if you don’t want an ass-kicking.

3:04 a.m.

MALLARD: I better not hear that radio playing in there, Mr. Biggs. What did I
say about you fiddling with them knobs?

BIGGS: Help…

MALLARD: Don’t be lying about it. They ain’t no Bon Jovi on KZAP. Now I
gotta reprogram all the goddamn buttons. But you given me an idea. Can you reach
the horn from there?

BIGGS: Ahhh…

MALLARD: There you go. All right, I want you sit here and listen for “Sexy
Daddy” by Destiny’s Child. That’s the instant money song. When you hear it,
honk the horn, and I’m gonna be the 93rd caller and get me about a thousand
dollars, which is gonna be about 400 dollars after I fix all the damage yo ass did.
You gonna make yourself useful for a change.

BIGGS: Oooohh…

MALLARD: Okay, when you hear Beyonce, you be honking that horn, you hear me?

3:23 a.m.

MALLARD: You better stop that honking, motherfucker. Now you making my ass
mad.

BIGGS: Aaaah…

MALLARD: You better hope they playing Destiny Child four time a minute or
somebody’s eaten his last Triscuit. I hear you honking and I be all speed-dialing
and counting my Chante money. But I don’t get my first busy signal when I
hear you honking again.

BIGGS: Please…

MALLARD: Please, my ass. Dialing like a fool in there when all you doing is
making noise. You oughta be ashamed, playin me like that. And after all I done
for you.

Buff · 12-10-2003

No love for the Buffster

dantheman · 12-10-2003

you must be bored to death

Buff · 12-10-2003

Quote:

Originally posted by dantheman@Dec 10 2003, 01:55 PM
you must be bored to death

I wrote that for my journal the other night. Thought I'd test it here -- nothing.

*KK* · 12-10-2003

It's funny as shit but your thread title leaves a bit to be desired.

Hell Puppy · 12-10-2003

We have short attention spans....we're waiting on the video version....

sarettah · 12-10-2003

how long have you been practicin the dialect ?

Billy · 12-10-2003

Quote:

Originally posted by Hell Puppy@Dec 10 2003, 10:34 PM
We have short attention spans....we're waiting on the video version....

Well you are in the right place if you want "Short" stuff

R3K · 12-10-2003

12-09-2003	#1
Buff Members Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 1,561	Fort Worth resident Chante Mallard was convicted in June of murder and sentenced to 50 years in prison for her role in the death of Gregory Biggs, a homeless man who she struck with her car and then stowed in her garage with the victim stuck headfirst through her windshield. According to police reports, Mallard returned to the garage periodically to apologize to Biggs, but never summoned emergency help. 2:17 a.m. MALLARD: Mr. Biggs, is you still in here? BIGGS: Oh, god. MALLARD: I’m sorry I left you out here but I had to get them shoes off, honey. They about squeeze my shrimps to death but, damn, they make Chante legs look good. BIGGS: Please, I’m… MALLARD: Well, hell, you know, you were staring at em half the way home. Yo head all bobbing. Damn, you come busting through that windshield like some nappy-headed air bag, Chante almost wet herself. BIGGS: Arrrr… MALLARD: I brought you some Triscuits with some of that squeezy cheese. Did you be wanting some refreshments? BIGGS: Oh… MALLARD: No? Oh, I love me some Triscuits now. Chante gonna get her snack on. You know what I love about Triscuits? BIGGS: Uhhh… MALLARD: They three time better than biscuits. Count it out now. A biscuit just two, but a Triscuit be three time good. Now if somebody come up with a Quadriscuit, Chante gonna give her heart to Jesus. BIGGS: I can’t brea… MALLARD: Now if they can get chicken in a biscuit, how come they can’t…oh hell, there the phone. I’ll be right back, baby. Did you need anything? 2:28 a.m. MALLARD: Oh, you ain’t gonna believe this, honey. Okay, so that’s Jamal on the phone. You ain’t met Jamal yet, but you will. And he all in my face saying Chamiqua call him and say she seen me driving home from the club with a man in my car. Right? BIGGS: Ooooh…. MALLARD: And he sayin horrible ugly things. Going off, I’m a skanky whore this and a lying bitch that and everything and I just let him go right on talkin, making a fool of hisself. You know? BIGGS: Oh, God. MALLARD: And I say, Mmm hmmm, did she happen to mention that man sticking through my windshield? No, I knew the whore wouldn’t tell him that cause she all over Jamal. That’s how she is. BIGGS: Please… MALLARD: And Jamal all, is there a man over at your house or not, girl? Yes or no? And I say, you know what, you don’t take that tone with me. Okay? Cause I had a really bad night, Jamal. BIGGS: I can’t… MALLARD: And he all, you think you had a bad night? I gotta hear you’re out whoring around. And I say, okay, but do you gotta dead man sticking through a windshield you just paid 200 dollar to get tinted? You got that? Is that a bad enough night for yo whiny ass? BIGGS: Please, God. MALLARD: Um hmm, that shut his ass up all right. And then he all sorry and his voice get all low like he gonna come over and get him some. Baby, I’m sorry and baby, you know I love you. And I ain’t having none of that. BIGGS: My leg… MALLARD: And then he all, what do you say we go see Training Day tomorrow night, cause he know I love me some Denzel. Mmmm, first time I laid eyes on Denzel, I told my girl LaTrina, I said, girl, I’m just gonna leave my pussy at will call for Denzel and he can pick it up anytime he want. BIGGS: Owww… MALLARD: I may loan it out, but it belong to Denzel. You know what I’m sayin? That’s my little joke with Jamal. I always tell him, you may not live in Denzel’s house, and you may not ride in his car, but you damn sure ridin in his pussy. BIGGS: Could you please… MALLARD: So, anyway, he coming over later. When you see him, don’t mention that thing over his eye, now. He got some sort of Aaron Neville-looking thing bout to pop out of his forehead. It’s all I can do to look at it, but don’t you be staring at it. Not if you don’t want an ass-kicking. 3:04 a.m. MALLARD: I better not hear that radio playing in there, Mr. Biggs. What did I say about you fiddling with them knobs? BIGGS: Help… MALLARD: Don’t be lying about it. They ain’t no Bon Jovi on KZAP. Now I gotta reprogram all the goddamn buttons. But you given me an idea. Can you reach the horn from there? BIGGS: Ahhh… MALLARD: There you go. All right, I want you sit here and listen for “Sexy Daddy” by Destiny’s Child. That’s the instant money song. When you hear it, honk the horn, and I’m gonna be the 93rd caller and get me about a thousand dollars, which is gonna be about 400 dollars after I fix all the damage yo ass did. You gonna make yourself useful for a change. BIGGS: Oooohh… MALLARD: Okay, when you hear Beyonce, you be honking that horn, you hear me? 3:23 a.m. MALLARD: You better stop that honking, motherfucker. Now you making my ass mad. BIGGS: Aaaah… MALLARD: You better hope they playing Destiny Child four time a minute or somebody’s eaten his last Triscuit. I hear you honking and I be all speed-dialing and counting my Chante money. But I don’t get my first busy signal when I hear you honking again. BIGGS: Please… MALLARD: Please, my ass. Dialing like a fool in there when all you doing is making noise. You oughta be ashamed, playin me like that. And after all I done for you. __________________

12-10-2003	#2
Buff Members Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 1,561	No love for the Buffster __________________

12-10-2003	#3
dantheman Members Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 1,878	you must be bored to death __________________ "Never argue with an idiot....he will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience."

12-10-2003	#7
sarettah Stay Out Of The Box Want to see your own Advertising Here! Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Lost in the ozone Posts: 10,318	how long have you been practicin the dialect ? __________________ Free Adult Webcams

12-10-2003	#9
R3K Members Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: North Carolina Posts: 96	__________________ "In those days spirits were brave, the stakes were high, men were real men, women were real women and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were real small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri." Warning:Nothing expressed in my posts is a collective opinion of any organizations that I am affiliated with, they are my opinions, and I am solely responsible for them. ;-) National Net - No Hype, Just Results

12-10-2003	#5
KK Members Respin bullshit press Your Comments Are Welcomed Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 2,581	It's funny as shit but your thread title leaves a bit to be desired.

12-10-2003	#6
Hell Puppy Fat Fucking Nobody Want to see your own Advertising Here! Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 6,523	We have short attention spans....we're waiting on the video version....