I've heard some of these

jimmyf · 11-10-2003

THINGS ONLY A POLICE OFFICER WOULD SAY

Just how big were those two beers?

Your life is not my fault.

The handcuffs are tight because they are new. They will stretch out
after you wear them awhile.

If you take your hands off the car, I will make your birth certificate a
worthless document.

If you run, you will only go to jail tired.

Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second?

So, you do not know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can
write anything I want on your ticket, huh?

Yes Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I do not think it
will help. Oh, did I mention that I AM the shift supervisor?

Warning? You want a warning? Okay, I am warning you not to do that
again or I will give you ANOTHER ticket.

The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or
not: Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?

Fair?! You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to
ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey- poop.

No Sir, we do not have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now we are allowed to write as many tickets as we want.

I know, I know, your kid is an honor student at the juvenile detention
center.

I am glad to hear that the Chief of Police is a good friend of yours. At
least you know someone who can post your bail.

No, I do not think that they should use the electric chair; I think they
need to use electric BLEACHERS!

Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and I get the big screen
television.

PornoDoggy · 11-10-2003

Quote:

Just how big were those two beers?

Coronado, California, September 19, 1983 ...

Just because I was doing 105 in my VW Beetle on the Silver Strand on the way to Imperial Beach. No sense of humor, them coppers ...

Vick · 11-10-2003

Quote:

Originally posted by PornoDoggy@Nov 10 2003, 07:59 PM

Quote:

Just how big were those two beers?

Coronado, California, September 19, 1983 ...

Just because I was doing 105 in my VW Beetle on the Silver Strand on the way to Imperial Beach. No sense of humor, them coppers ...

Damn PD, you could petal that fast? :P

good one jimmyf

PornoDoggy · 11-10-2003

I think it was burning alcohol that night. It's one of those "do not attempt this at home" stunts.

Nickatilynx · 11-10-2003

Quote:

I think it was burning alcohol that night.

mmmmmm everclear.

One for the car , one for me
one for the car ,one , two for me

;-))))

eatapeach · 11-10-2003

cops are cool!

ulfie · 11-10-2003

I got pulled over last week and just about every document in my car was expired. To top it off I had forgotten my liscense which I NEVER do. Cop went and sat in the car for about an hour, came back, and gave me a warning. He also gave me this nifty card that shows I have 15 days to get everything resolved to show to anyone else that pulls me over. That kind of stuff never happens to me just glad it did that night or I would have been looking at over $500 in fines easy.

eatapeach · 11-10-2003

Quote:

Originally posted by ulfie@Nov 10 2003, 05:54 PM
I got pulled over last week and just about every document in my car was expired. To top it off I had forgotten my liscense which I NEVER do. Cop went and sat in the car for about an hour, came back, and gave me a warning. He also gave me this nifty card that shows I have 15 days to get everything resolved to show to anyone else that pulls me over. That kind of stuff never happens to me just glad it did that night or I would have been looking at over $500 in fines easy.

he probably saw the penguins sticker on the back of your car and felt you had suffered enough already.

ulfie · 11-10-2003

Quote:

Originally posted by eatapeach@Nov 10 2003, 09:14 PM
he probably saw the penguins sticker on the back of your car and felt you had suffered enough already.

Even worse if it would have been a Pirate sticker.

Julene · 11-10-2003

My dad was a cop until he passed away.

His rule was no tickets unless they started smarting off at him.

11-10-2003	#1
jimmyf Members Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: California Posts: 249	THINGS ONLY A POLICE OFFICER WOULD SAY Just how big were those two beers? Your life is not my fault. The handcuffs are tight because they are new. They will stretch out after you wear them awhile. If you take your hands off the car, I will make your birth certificate a worthless document. If you run, you will only go to jail tired. Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? So, you do not know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on your ticket, huh? Yes Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I do not think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I AM the shift supervisor? Warning? You want a warning? Okay, I am warning you not to do that again or I will give you ANOTHER ticket. The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not: Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog? Fair?! You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey- poop. No Sir, we do not have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now we are allowed to write as many tickets as we want. I know, I know, your kid is an honor student at the juvenile detention center. I am glad to hear that the Chief of Police is a good friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail. No, I do not think that they should use the electric chair; I think they need to use electric BLEACHERS! Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and I get the big screen television. __________________ Fast-Size for you Pencil dick Webmasters will work for your surfers also AdRiches Casino PAYS Webmasters daily

11-10-2003	#4
PornoDoggy Cramming 3 people in a Room to Attend Show Want to see your own Advertising Here! Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Amid the Cornfields of Illinois Posts: 5,366	I think it was burning alcohol that night. It's one of those "do not attempt this at home" stunts. __________________ SEX STORY TEXT Exotic Material for Adult Websites Available for part time (project or ongoing) work ...

11-10-2003	#7
ulfie Members Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 1,143	I got pulled over last week and just about every document in my car was expired. To top it off I had forgotten my liscense which I NEVER do. Cop went and sat in the car for about an hour, came back, and gave me a warning. He also gave me this nifty card that shows I have 15 days to get everything resolved to show to anyone else that pulls me over. That kind of stuff never happens to me just glad it did that night or I would have been looking at over $500 in fines easy. __________________

11-10-2003	#10
Julene Members Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 173	My dad was a cop until he passed away. His rule was no tickets unless they started smarting off at him. __________________ Fetish Money

11-10-2003	#6
eatapeach Members Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 203	cops are cool!