The sarettah vs Nick war thread.......

[sarettah]

Nick...........

Your Mama !!!!!!


:grrr:

[Nickatilynx]

Allow me to retort! ;-)))

Lets get off mothers ,sarettah , cause I just got off yours! ;-)))))

(singing "War!")


Sarettah!

Huh!

Good God!

what is he good for?

Absolutely nothing!

Say it again....


;-))))

( Now you all have that song in your head....you will know sarettah won a batlle , but lost the war! )

;-)))

[Trev]

You both weak :P

Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born the doctor smacked everyone.

Yo mama's like a bowling ball, she gets picked up, fingered, thrown down the gutter, and she still comes back for more.

Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks socialism means partying!

Yo mama's so big, that they had to change "One size fit's all" to "One size fits most"

Yo mama's so nasty, I called her up for phone sex and she gave me an ear infection.

Yo mama's so fat, when she travels, she's gotta make two trips

Yo mama's so fat, when she goes to a restaurant, she even orders "Thank You, Come Again."

Yo mama's so greasy, she uses bacon as a band-aid.

I saved Yo mama's life today... I killed a shit-eating dog on the way over.

Yo mama's so stupid, it takes her 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes

Yo mama's so stupid, she asked for a price check at the dollar store.

Yo mama's so ugly, when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillance cameras.

Yo mama's so fat, when they used her underwear elastic for bungee jumping, they hit the ground.

Yo mama's hips are so big, people set their drinks on them.

Yo mama's so fat, she goes to a restaurant, looks at the menu, and says "Okay."

Yo mama's got hair on her tongue and she gargles with curl activator.

Yo mama's so ugly, the government moved Halloween to her birthday.

Yo mama's so fat, she has to pull down her pants to get into her pockets.

Yo mama's so fat, she sat on the corner and the police came & said "break it up!"

Yo mama's mouth is so big, she speaks in surround sound.

Yo mama's so fat, she uses a mattress for a maxi-pad.

Yo mama's so fat, she has to iron her pants on the driveway.

Yo mama's so fat, at the zoo, the elephants started throwing her peanuts.

Yo mama's so old, she farts out dust.

Yo mama's so ugly, I took her to the zoo, guy at the door said "Thanks for bringing her back."

Yo mama's so fat, she bungee jumped and went straight to hell.

Yo mama's so old, when she was in school there was no history class.

Yo mama's so fat, she uses a pillow case's as a socks.

Yo mama's so old, when Moses split the red sea, she was on the other side fishing.

Yo mama's so stupid, she said "what's that letter after x" and I said "Y" and she said "Cause I wanna know".

Yo mama's so hairy, she shaves with a weedwhacker.

Yo mama's so fat, she gets clothes in three sizes: extra large, jumbo, and oh-my-god-it's-coming-towards-us!

Yo mama's so ugly, when she gets up, the sun goes down.

Yo mama's so fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat in the rain, people shout "Taxi!"

Yo mama's so ugly, the psychiatrist makes her lie face down.

Yo mama's like birthday cake, everybody's had a piece.

Yo mama's so old, she has a picture of Jesus in her yearbook.

Yo mama's so fat, when she backs up she beeps.

Yo mama's so hairy, she has plats on her nipples.

Yo mama's so ugly, I took her to a haunted house and she came out with a job application.

Yo mama's so fat, her college graduation picture was an aerial.

Yo mama's so ugly, her face is closed on weekends!

Yo mama's butt is so big, it looks like 2 pigs fighting over milk duds.

Yo mama's so fat, her picture of her fell off the wall!

Yo mama's so ugly, she threw a boomerang and it wouldn't even come back.

Yo mama's so greasy, she sweats lard.

Yo mama's so stupid, when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon.

Yo mama's so stupid, she stands up on an empty bus.

Yo mama's so ugly, they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars.

Yo mama's so fat, she tried to get an all-over tan, and the sun burned out.

Yo mama's so old, when God said "let there be light" she was there to flick the switch.

Yo mama's like a TV, even a 2 year old could turn her on.

Yo mama's so fat, she can't reach her back pocket.

Yo mama's so dirty, she has to creep up on bath water.

Yo mama's like a refrigerator, everyone puts their meat in her.

Yo mama's lips are so big, that ChapStick had to invent a spray.

Yo mama's so fat, she influences the tides.

Yo mama's so ugly, the doctor is still smacking her ass.

Yo mama's so poor, she can't even afford to pay attention.

Yo mama's so big, she shows up on radar.

Yo mama's head is so big, she don't have dreams, she has movies.

Yo mama's so fat, I had to take a train and two busses just to get on her good side.

Yo mama's so fat, she puts on her lipstick with a paint-roller.

Yo mama's so fat, when she goes to a restaurant, she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate.

Yo mama's so stupid, she asked you "What is the number for 911".

Yo mama's so fat, when the bitch goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps.

Yo mama's so fat, when she auditioned for a part in "Indiana Jones," she got the part as the big rolling ball.

Yo mama's so ugly, people go as her for Halloween.

Yo mama's so stupid, she thought a quarterback was a refund.

Yo mama's so stupid, she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

Yo mama's so fat, when she sits around the house, she sits AROUND the house.

Yo mama's so fat, she can't even jump to a conclusion.

Yo mama's so ugly, just after she was born, her mama said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it."

Yo mama's so ugly, she can look up a camel's butt and scare the hump off of it.

Yo mama's glasses are so thick, when she looks at a map, she can see people waving at her.

Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born, her mama saw the afterbirth and said "Twins."

Yo mama's so ugly, her mom had to be drunk to breastfeed her.

Yo mama's so hairy, you almost died of rug burn at birth.

Yo mama's like McDonalds... Billions and Billions served.

Yo mama's so stupid, she cooked her own complimentary breakfast.

Yo mama's so fat, when I tried to drive around her, I ran out of gas.

Yo mama's so stupid, she was locked in a grocery store and starved to death.

Yo mama's got so many teeth missing, it looks like her tongue is in jail.

Yo mama's so ugly, when two guys broke into her apartment, she yelled "rape" and they yelled "NO!"

Yo mama's twice the man you are.

Yo mama's so stupid, she jumped out the window and went up.

Yo mama's house is so dusty the roaches ride around on dune buggies.

Yo mama's got so many rings around belly she's gotta screw her underwear on.

Yo mama's so fat, people jog around her for exercise.

Yo mama's cross-eyed and watches TV in stereo.

Yo mama's so stupid, she studied for a blood test and failed.

Yo mama's like mustard, she spreads easy.

Yo mama's head is so wrinkled, she has to screw her hat on.

Yo mama's so fat, she has to buy two airline tickets.

Yo mama's so stupid, she died before the police arrived because she couldn't find the "11" button in "9-1-1"

Yo mama sets off car alarms when she runs.

Yo mama's so fat, NASA orbits satellites around her.

Yo mama's so backwards she sits on the TV and watches the couch.

Yo mama's so short, she can do backflips under the bed

Yo mama's so stupid, she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.

Yo mama's so stupid, if she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless.

Yo mama's so greasy, Texaco buys oil from her.

Yo mama's so fat, the shadow of her ass weighs 50 pounds.

Yo mama's teeth are so yellow, I can't believe it's not butter.

Yo mama's so clumsy, she got tangled up in a cordless phone.

Yo mama's glasses are so thick she can see into the future.

Yo mama's so poor, she goes to Kentucky Fried Chicken to lick other people's fingers.

Yo mama's so nasty, she made Right Guard turn left.

Yo mama's so poor, burglars break in and leave money.

Yo mama's so old, she's got Jesus' beeper number.

Yo mama's so big, when she goes to the movie theater she sits next to everybody.

Yo mama's so hairy, Bigfoot took a picture of her.

Yo mama's so big, when you climb on top of her your ears pop.

Yo mama's so fat, when she bends over we go into daylight savings time.

Yo mama's so old, she co-wrote the ten commandments.

Yo mama was such an ugly baby, her parents had to feed her with a slingshot.

Yo mama's so old, she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.

Yo mama's so rank, that her shit is glad to escape.

Yo mama's so ugly, when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals."

Yo mama's so ugly, they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower.

Yo mama's so fat, she went on a light diet... As soon as it's light she starts eating.

Yo mama's so fat, she uses blanket as a washcloth.

Yo mama's teeth are so yellow, she slows down traffic when she smiles.

Yo mama said she liked seafood, so I gave her crabs.

Yo mama's so stupid, at bottom of application where it says Sign Here - she put Sagittarius.

Yo mama's so fat, she fell in love and broke it.

Yo mama's like a gas station... you gotta pay before you pump.

Yo mama's so old, her social security number is 1.

Yo mama's so old, she used to baby-sit Jesus.

Yo mama's so fat, she wears a VCR for a beeper.

Yo mama's so fat, when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again.

Yo mama's so stupid, when asked on an application, "Sex?", she marked, "M, F, and sometimes Wednesday too."

Yo mama's so ugly, they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints.

Yo mama's so stupid, she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif.

Yo mama's so ugly, her mama had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dog to play with her.

Yo mama's so stupid, she thought a lawsuit was something you wear to court.

The difference between Yo mama and 747: not everyone's been on a 747.

Yo mama's so ugly, when she walks in the kitchen, the rats jump on the table and start screaming.

Yo mama's so big, her belly button's got an echo.

Yo mama's so stupid, she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the W's.

Yo mama's so poor, they put her picture on food stamps.

Yo mama's so old, I told her to act her age and the bitch died.

Yo mama's breath is so rank, she eats odor eaters.

Yo mama's so stupid, she got stabbed in a shoot-out.

Yo mama's like a door knob, everybody gets a turn.

Yo mama's so poor, she can't even afford to pay attention.

Yo mama' so cross-eyed, when she has sex she thinks its a threesome.

Yo mama's so fat, she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagen.

Yo mama's like a shotgun, one cock and she blows.

Yo mama's so fat, she has to iron her pants on the driveway.

Yo mama's so fat, when she swims, she leaves stretch marks on the swimming pool.

Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born, the doctor slapped her mama!

Yo mama's so fat, they have to grease a door frame and hold a Twinkie on the other side to get her through.

Yo mama's so fat, when she was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.

Yo mama's so fat, when she turns around, people throw her a welcome back party.

Yo mama's so stupid, when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line, she put "O.K."

Yo mama has so much hair on her upper lip, she braids it.

Yo mama's teeth are so yellow, she has to brush them with a butter knife.

Yo mama's so stupid, she took a spoon to the Super Bowl.

Yo mama's so poor, your TV got 2 channels: on and off.

Yo mama's feet are so big, her sneakers need license plates.

Yo mama's so ugly, your father takes her to work just so he doesn't have to kiss her good-bye.

Yo mama's so fat, she has two stomachs: One for meat, one for vegetables.

Yo mama's so fat, when she dances, she makes the band skip.

Yo mama's breath is so rank, when she exhales her teeth have to duck.

Yo mama's so fat, every time she wears high heels, she strikes oil.

Yo mama's so fat, she has to grease her hands to get into her pockets.

Yo mama's so old, Jurassic Park brought back memories.

Yo mama's so fat, she jumped up in the air and got stuck.

Yo mama's so stupid, she spent twenty minutes lookin' at an orange juice box because it said `concentrate.

Yo mama's so fat, they had to baptize her at Sea World.

Yo mama's so stupid, when she took you to the airport and a sign said "Airport Left," she turned around and went home.

Yo mama's so easy that when she heard Santa Claus say Ho Ho Ho she thought she was getting it three times.

Yo mama's so fat, when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.

Yo mama's so fat and old that when God said "Let there be Light", he told her to move her fat butt out of the way.

Yo mama's so fat, she measures 36 24 36, and the other arm is just as big.

Yo mama's so old, her birthday expired.

Yo mama's so hairy, her armpits look like she has Don King in a headlock.

Yo mama's so old, she owes Fred Flintstone a food stamp.

Yo mama's so fat, her blood type is Ragu.

Yo mama's so poor, she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air-conditioning.

Yo mama's so poor, she eats cereal with a fork to save milk.

Yo mama's so fat, if she got her shoes shined, she'd have to take his word for it!

Yo mama's so fat, the telephone company gave her two area codes.



Last edited by Trev at Nov 4 2003, 08:41 PM

[Carrie]

Good lord that's a lotta momma.

[Nickatilynx]

Trev!!!

You bastard!!!!

You know full well only 27 of those remarks actually apply to my mamma!!

;-)))))

[Trev]

Originally posted by Nickatilynx@Nov 4 2003, 08:22 PM
Trev!!!

You bastard!!!!

You know full well only 27 of those remarks actually apply to my mamma!!

;-)))))

No those are letters I got from some of the guys that took my momma out

[Nickatilynx]

No those are letters I got from some of the guys that took my momma out

Glad I had the right address

(Sorry , I HAD too! )

[Trev]

Originally posted by Nickatilynx@Nov 4 2003, 08:29 PM

Glad I had the right address

(Sorry , I HAD too! )

Those are just the ones from the guys that took her out on Friday... you should see the rest

[sarettah]

come n listen to a story bout a boy named nick
broke little guy with a little tiny dick
Then one day he was surfing on the net
and into his head came the best idea yet
Spam that is, email, surfer gold

Well, the next thing you know Nicks a thosandaire
R-N Levi said, "Nick, you're gonna go somewhere"
said, "Canada is the place for running spam"
so he loaded up his crap and he moved to sascatchewan
lots of crooks there, spammers, cockholsters

Nick got a house, had a T1 line run in
Spam poured out, Money poured right in
Surfers all bitched but Nick he couldnt care less
got hisself known as the crook that had success
cash that is, green stuff, mullah

Now Nick says he's the biggest crook of all
and he claims he spams winter, summer, spring and fall
but there's still a little problem bothers nick
he can't find a use for his microscopic dick
tiny one that is, little pee pee syndrome, short cock...........


You all come back now, ya hear

[Vick]

sarettah


That's hilarious and an instant classic!

[Carrie]

Originally posted by sarettah@Nov 4 2003, 02:54 PM
come n listen to a story bout a boy named nick

Priceless

[VooMan]

HAHAHAHA

That was excellent!

[Nickatilynx]

ahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahh aha ahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahh aha ahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahh aha


I concede!

You have a lot of time on your hands , don't ya?

;-))))

come n listen to a story bout a boy named nick
broke little guy with a little tiny dick
Then one day he was surfing on the net
and into his head came the best idea yet
Spam that is, email, surfer gold

Well, the next thing you know Nicks a thosandaire
R-N Levi said, "Nick, you're gonna go somewhere"
said, "Canada is the place for running spam"
so he loaded up his crap and he moved to sascatchewan
lots of crooks there, spammers, cockholsters

Nick got a house, had a T1 line run in
Spam poured out, Money poured right in
Surfers all bitched but Nick he couldnt care less
got hisself known as the crook that had success
cash that is, green stuff, mullah

Now Nick says he's the biggest crook of all
and he claims he spams winter, summer, spring and fall
but there's still a little problem bothers nick
he can't find a use for his microscopic dick
tiny one that is, little pee pee syndrome, short cock...........


You all come back now, ya hear

I also nominate it as the longest pearl , ever!

;-))



Last edited by Nickatilynx at Nov 4 2003, 12:18 PM

[dantheman]

[Dravyk]

In the parlance of GFY ...

NICK BE OWNED!!

Muhahahahahaha!!!!!!!

[Bestat]

Now THAT was funny!!!

[voodooman]

Originally posted by sarettah@Nov 4 2003, 01:54 PM
come n listen to a story bout a boy named nick
broke little guy with a little tiny dick
Then one day he was surfing on the net
and into his head came the best idea yet
Spam that is, email, surfer gold

Well, the next thing you know Nicks a thosandaire
R-N Levi said, "Nick, you're gonna go somewhere"
said, "Canada is the place for running spam"
so he loaded up his crap and he moved to sascatchewan
lots of crooks there, spammers, cockholsters

Nick got a house, had a T1 line run in
Spam poured out, Money poured right in
Surfers all bitched but Nick he couldnt care less
got hisself known as the crook that had success
cash that is, green stuff, mullah

Now Nick says he's the biggest crook of all
and he claims he spams winter, summer, spring and fall
but there's still a little problem bothers nick
he can't find a use for his microscopic dick
tiny one that is, little pee pee syndrome, short cock...........


You all come back now, ya hear

HAHAHAHAHAHHAH LMFAO.

Thats hillarious sare.


Outstanding work my friend.
I'll give you a

[Nickatilynx]

Whyats the Number of R-n's lawyer!

I'll have no mockery!!!

;-))))

[voodooman]

Originally posted by Nickatilynx@Nov 4 2003, 02:58 PM
Whyats the Number of R-n's lawyer!

I'll have no mockery!!!

;-))))

Don't know the number, but here is the name.


http://www.oprano.com/msgboard/index.php?a...1f9e309a79685f4

:P

[sarettah]

Originally posted by Nickatilynx@Nov 4 2003, 03:11 PM
You have a lot of time on your hands , don't ya?

afternoon schedule:

1:00 meeting - 2:20
2:20 - 2:30 write song, post it
2:30 - 3:00 listen to people bitch
3:00 - now meeting



Glad you liked it.................

[Nickatilynx]

afternoon schedule:

1:00 meeting - 2:20
2:20 - 2:30 write song, post it
2:30 - 3:00 listen to people bitch
3:00 - now meeting

I was going to let it go ,but......

so that only gives you 18 hours to........

Sarettah Posted the News Today (with apologies to L&M)

Sarettah posted the news today , oh joy
About 22 threads that no one ever reads
And though the news was rather sad
he still filled oprano like mad

I saw his site , it was rather lame
no reason to have a wank No chance of making bank
There were several thousand just the same

A crowd of webmasters stood and stared
They'd never seen a site like his before
Nobody was even really sure what he did this for

sarettah saw a film today oh joy
He posted about it on oprano of course
A crowd of people turned away
they knew it was going to be so gay
But if you want to make dough
I'd love to turn you on

Wake up, get out of bed
try spamming or you'll be dead
find a niche and get the traffic quick
make money , try not to be a dick
don't sell those jewels
whad up wid dat
porn and pills that where the money's at
Somebody posted back to him and he went into a dream

sarettah posted the news today oh joy
Four replies to all his news is all
And though the threads were rather small
he had to count them all
Now we know how many of sarettahs threads to skip ,skip 'em all


;-)))))))))






A bit harsh...yours is better , but it is really hard to do as I don't REALLY know what else you do.

;-)))



Last edited by Nickatilynx at Nov 4 2003, 01:21 PM

[Vick]

Oh Nick shoots back - he scores a hit

He he he he

All this jocularity, jocularity, jocularity

[Vick]

Note to self - I should have gotten the patent on song parodies


Damn, Damn Damn


Love the Bridge Nick



Last edited by Vick at Nov 4 2003, 04:20 PM

[Nickatilynx]

Damn, Damn Damn


Love the Bridge Nick

Its all about the timing ;-)))))

[sarettah]

Originally posted by Nickatilynx@Nov 4 2003, 04:15 PM
Sarettah Posted the News Today (with apologies to L&M)

Sarettah posted the news today , oh joy
About 22 threads that no one ever reads
And though the news was rather sad
he still filled oprano like mad

I saw his site , it was rather lame
no reason to have a wank No chance of making bank
There were several thousand just the same

A crowd of webmasters stood and stared
They'd never seen a site like his before
Nobody was even really sure what he did this for

sarettah saw a film today oh joy
He posted about it on oprano of course
A crowd of people turned away
they knew it was going to be so gay
But if you want to make dough
I'd love to turn you on

Wake up, get out of bed
try spamming or you'll be dead
find a niche and get the traffic quick
make money , try not to be a dick
don't sell those jewels
whad up wid dat
porn and pills that where the money's at
Somebody posted back to him and he went into a dream

sarettah posted the news today oh joy
Four replies to all his news is all
And though the threads were rather small
he had to count them all
Now we know how many of sarettahs threads to skip ,skip 'em all


;-)))))))))






A bit harsh...yours is better , but it is really hard to do as I don't REALLY know what else you do.

;-)))

un uh... you had already conceded... No pulling an Al Gore on me here.......



and although your words really really deeply hurt me......... (truth always hurts ya know)

I still laughed my ass off......





Be right back in a few minutes...............

[Nickatilynx]

Be right back in a few minutes...............

Oh shit!!!

thats 12 more "news" threads on Oprano then.

;-))))


only on oprano!!!
when there is no grogan , heqdvd ,knotwork to fuck with , they spare with each other!!! ;-)))



Last edited by Nickatilynx at Nov 4 2003, 01:27 PM

[sarettah]

Ok... I have nothing....... without getting really down and nasty... which I will refrain from doing (for now at least).........

except..............


Nickfuxalinx........

you's damn oogly and your momma dresses you funny !!!!

[Nickatilynx]

you's damn oogly and your momma dresses you funny !!!!

Well I certainly can't R-n Levi you for those remarks ,as they are true.

And you are right. I did concede.

I apologise for acting like a democrat.

;-)))

[PornoDoggy]

I apologise for acting like a democrat.

Hey, leave me the fuck outta this, okay?

And I heard that one of yo mammas was so big, she sat on a quarter and a buger came out of George Washington's nose ... but I disremember who's momma that was.

[sarettah]

Just a bump to remind me that there is unfinished business here....

so...

bump

[sarettah]

Once and a while you get shown the light....
In the strangest of places if you look at it right (Jerry Garcia...Scarlet Begonias)

Ever since Nick posted his parody, it has been running around my head, or at least the points he made.... Not about the news threads...lol..But the other points, many of which are quite valid...

I am answering the points, not in a defensive posture, but in what is actually a quite open minded posture....

and yes, I know the song was written in jest and yes the thread was just for fun.... But like Jerry said... In the strangest of places...

"I saw his site , it was rather lame
no reason to have a wank No chance of making bank
There were several thousand just the same"

I love that verse... and it is quite valid... Most of what I have built I built in a learning mode. They are predominantly based around a standard free site style template ( http://www.partyafterdark.com/petite_panties http://partyafterdark.com/honesty http://www.strapgirl.com/dungeon as examples)

When I started out I was trying (still am) to learn all the ins and outs of the adult industry. Not so I could conquer it, but so that I could sell my programming and system design skills. Before you can write programs to automate something, you must understand what the something you are building is supposed to accomplish. So, my gallery and free site attempts have been done while trying to master the webmaster skills of the people I would like to be doing business with on the programming side.

Unfortunately, the prices I am used to getting paid for my work are much higher than the rate that most of the folk I see charging. I see programmers going at $50-75 a script for something that will take several hours. Thats fine if you can sell a couple of dozen copies of it. I have done/ do custom programming.... I bill out at anywhere from $100.00 an hour to $150.00 an hour for programming and around $175-$200 and hour for system design... At the prices I like to make I can not compete with the php guys doing it on the cheap.... So, if you want a full custom system, I'm your guy... If you just need a few scripts, I'm not even going to compete, so I don't try...

"A crowd of webmasters stood and stared
They'd never seen a site like his before
Nobody was even really sure what he did this for"

lol....I believe that probably refers (if it has an actual site reference) to http://www.bitsntits.com . This site is definitely experimental and is really more of a programming exercise then a sales site attempt (although I would like to get it on to a real host and expand it's possibilities). The site is automatically rebuilt every 2 hours, top to bottom. The various newsfeeds are updated on a schedule determined by an algorithm that takes into account how long it has been since the program last checked the feed, how often the feed updates and a preset priority. The first touch of code for the program was written on September 25th or 26th and the first time I showed the site to anyone was around October 2nd... So it was in raw development for about 6 evenings (3 or hours an evening) and that included much of the searching out of newsfeeds... It has not had any kind of technological breakdown since around the 10th of October. The only adjustments I have made to the database was to remove several gallery feeds that had very questionable content. I don't know how, but Google had it listed for me by the evening of the 3rd...

I did the site to first of all, see if I could write a tight enough proggy to make the whole thing work and secondly to see if a news site/pics site would attract much traffic.

"But if you want to make dough
I'd love to turn you on "

Lol...Is that an offer Nick ? (serious question there.....)

"find a niche and get the traffic quick
make money , try not to be a dick "

Excellent excellent advice....... Especially the "try not to be a dick"....

"don't sell those jewels
whad up wid dat
porn and pills that where the money's at "

Paper Jewels is my wife's site It is not my predominant effort.. I carry it in my tag line because I view webmasters as a potential market... You guys have girlfriends and wives... You ladies like Jewelry....

Jen does some beautiful work in a unique medium that she developed from scratch (and we have investigated and the process, because we have never revealed it is patentable...lol)... She has recently started working with more gem stones because it is a hard sell to get folks to fork over $50.00 for something they know is paper (as Vick very kindly pointed out a while back)... This stuff sells quite well when we get it in folk's hands and they can touch and feel it.... Selling it across the web via photo and description is a whole different story.... We are getting another domain name and setting up another version of the site in the next week or so, a name that will not have paper in it and will play down the paper angle some...

Just for info, the entire site is coded by hand by Jen, occasionally I will do a site wide price update with a proggy, but other than that, it is her handiwork throughout and she puts a lot of time, effort, frustration and love into both the site and her product.... I wish either of us was more of a marketing whiz so we could get the sales up...

"Somebody posted back to him and he went into a dream "

always !!! I shiver in anticipation when I see that someone, ANYONE has posted back to me....lolololol......


Anyway, Nick my friend (and I do consider you a friend, one of my favorite people on the board even though we have never met) Thank you... Sincerely, not sarcastically...

Through that one song parody I have gotten more solid constructive criticism than I believe I have gotten in the entire time I have been posting on Oprano..... (although Vick offered up some rock solid advice at one point also..thank you also Vick, if I did not say so at the time)

Thats all I wanted to say.....





(and don't even think that I am gonna stop posting my news links dammit...aint gonna happen)





Last edited by sarettah at Nov 4 2003, 10:35 PM

[Nickatilynx]

I consider you a friend too , sarettah , and I am glad you realised I was only messing with you , with only a token amount of malice, ;-)
as I hoped you could tell by my later posts. ;-)))

Add me to icq some time will ya?

#8042030

Lol...Is that an offer Nick ? (serious question there.....)

Definitely. ;-)))

Especially if you have time for long ranting telephone calls..... my dime ;-))
As you can see my typing sucks.... ;-)))

"The Net According to Nick " - 2003/2004 Edition ;-0)))



Last edited by Nickatilynx at Nov 4 2003, 07:53 PM

[Carrie]

Sare when you write a proggy for someone, you're doing a custom, one-time job. You're not going to turn around and sell that same script to someone else - you'd write them a new one.

You *can* compete with the php guys out here, you just have to think differently. Sure, if you pay yourself for your time, you'll have put about $500 into writing the script.
But since it's not written for a specific client, you can turn around and sell it 10 times for $75 each and be making a profit already. Keep pushing it, and sell it 50 times... $3750 for something that took you 5 hours to do.

Not bad for part-time work, eh?

Plus the more complex the script, the more you can charge. You'll want to structure anything you write as a modular thing, so that there can be different levels to the script and things can easily be added. A basic script could be $50, but add in the link-checking module and the hand-submit (write the word you see in the box) module and it's $75.
Want the full kabang that does everything but wipe your keyboard off when its finished? Then you're talking a few hundred dollars or even a thousand dollars like the High End Triple or the AVS Matrix. (I would never pay that much for a script, but lots of non-programmers would!)

The great thing about your scripts is that you write it once and it's done. You can resell that sucker as many times as you want without putting another minute of work into it. Unlike Jen's jewels... when she sells one, she has to sit and repeat all of the time and effort to make another. Scripts have very low overhead and absolutely no space needed for inventory...
It's just controlling yourself and following your original plan that is the hardest thing. My problem is I keep adding shit on and getting more ideas of stuff it can do when I'm halfway through it. (That's also why plug-in modules are so essential... super-easy expansion later.)

Custom programming is a good way to make a was of cash in a short amount of time, but writing a resaleable script - it's like the gift that keeps giving!

[Vick]

Carrie and Nick have some good points

sarettah - after the 4th glass of Dalmore I can tell ya I got nothing but for ya

Look around and see what programming is selling, write it in your extra time (like any of us have that luxury)

You could pretty up Bit and Tits (different template) and start selling that as a paysite plug-in

but first check the laws on harvesting news feeds and reproducing them

[Nickatilynx]

Sometimes I put my brain in gear , before I engage my mouth.

It was my intent to cause a moments ire , followed by a modicum of mirth , not an evening of self examination and criticism.

I apologise wholeheartedly and without reservation for any consternation I have caused you , or your wife.

My apologies , my friend.

[sarettah]

Originally posted by Nickatilynx@Nov 4 2003, 11:16 PM
Sometimes I put my brain in gear , before I engage my mouth.

It was my intent to cause a moments ire , followed by a modicum of mirth , not an evening of self examination and criticism.

I apologise wholeheartedly and without reservation for any consternation I have caused you , or your wife.

My apologies , my friend.

what the ???

You have not caused any consternation (I thought I was the only one who used that word) and you have not caused an evening of self examination...

You made a fun post, and as in any good humor, you touched the truth....

I chose to examine what you posted a little closer than you intended. That is my way....lololol..... I am by nature very introspective... I clown around most of the time because if I was my deep, serious self I would be boring as all hell

Like you said, you don't know much of what I do... I was trying to do two things...

1. tell you more about what I do...

2. and to let you know I appreciate your opinion...

But this is a webmaster board and I always follow Serge's rule to not take it too seriously...

I will add you to my icq when I locate the icon for it again (I hit autoarrange the other night, been searching for icons since...lol)

So take it back..... I don't want an apology because you have done nothing wrong...

Carrie, thanx for the reply... I understand the formula Implementation is the key always... I always write modular, portable code... Unfortunately, most of what I write is not in php and I still have a bit of a curve to climb on that issue... (have php installed here, mysql too.... It is a learning curve, mainly syntax...lol)

Vick, I have been researching the whole feeds issue, that is why in the various legalese on the site it reiterates and reiterates that this is a personbl site..... thanx


Ok, now can we get back to the real stuff we are here for....

Grogboy is posting in his car thread again......

and oh yeah... Nick.......

Your Mama !!!

[Nickatilynx]

That is my way....lololol..... I am by nature very introspective.

So what you you are saying is that you are very anal ? ;-)))

Admit it ! ;-))))

[sarettah]

Originally posted by Nickatilynx@Nov 4 2003, 11:39 PM

So what you you are saying is that you are very anal ? ;-)))

Admit it ! ;-))))

lololol.....

The slogan of my company is....

"I put the Anal in Analysis"

seriously.....lolololol

[Vick]

Bump

For old times sake


ah ha ha ha ha

[Rcourt64]

Originally Posted by Nickatilynx

I was going to let it go ,but......

so that only gives you 18 hours to........

Sarettah Posted the News Today (with apologies to L&M)

Sarettah posted the news today , oh joy
About 22 threads that no one ever reads
And though the news was rather sad
he still filled oprano like mad

I saw his site , it was rather lame
no reason to have a wank No chance of making bank
There were several thousand just the same

A crowd of webmasters stood and stared
They'd never seen a site like his before
Nobody was even really sure what he did this for

sarettah saw a film today oh joy
He posted about it on oprano of course
A crowd of people turned away
they knew it was going to be so gay
But if you want to make dough
I'd love to turn you on

Wake up, get out of bed
try spamming or you'll be dead
find a niche and get the traffic quick
make money , try not to be a dick
don't sell those jewels
whad up wid dat
porn and pills that where the money's at
Somebody posted back to him and he went into a dream

sarettah posted the news today oh joy
Four replies to all his news is all
And though the threads were rather small
he had to count them all
Now we know how many of sarettahs threads to skip ,skip 'em all


;-)))))))))






A bit harsh...yours is better , but it is really hard to do as I don't REALLY know what else you do.

;-)))



Last edited by Nickatilynx at Nov 4 2003, 01:21 PM

[helix]

Originally Posted by Rcourt64

you must be reallllly bored

[Rcourt64]

Originally Posted by helix

you must be reallllly bored

I thought this was a kick ass thread
Entertaining, Witty, Truthful, & Silly
besides I enjoy seeing the old man being ridiculed, goes to show he's always been a toy here, it seems