Oprano Can Make Honest Woman Out Of Anybody

[Almighty Colin]

Originally posted by LadyLaw@Jan 13 2003, 10:25 AM
Dear Colin:

We needed a toaster!

.

Sure,I'll be the toaster. How's this?

*softly chimes on glass with a spoon*

Good evening, everyone! It's a great pleasure for me to be here today to celebrate the marriage of my good friends Sue and Serge. Seeing so many friends gathered for this occasion, I realize that one life touches many others. For those who don't know it, I've been a friend of the groom since well before he gave up goats. We shared some amazing experiences together, but I'll never forget the day when he was arrested for public exposure in New Orleans (1999). I think it's my responsibility to speak of his exes. I knew them all. I can say number 72 is a lucky number for him! But ... as soon as I met the bride, I knew that they were made for each other.

There's a lot of talk about when they will have a child. I can tell you that: it'll be here in four months. It's a bit early, but hey...! Of course, my dear friend Serge, I must stress the fact that from this day forward your sex life will never be the same, because love and commitment give everything a different meaning: from now on, you will have a real, live girl If I can give any advice, it's simply that marrying a virgin is really not all that important.

*Lifting my glass wiping a tear from my eye*

On behalf of all your friends present here tonight, let me be the first to say:

6 to 1... six months... those were the odds when I was leaving the Stardust!

And as you prepare for this long trip together through life, I have only three words for you

We love you!

--------
Did you say toast or roast? Ahh, shit. Seriously, congratulations on getting married. Faux
names? I like it. I'm gonna try that.



Last edited by Colin at Jan 13 2003, 11:04 AM