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Old 12-02-2002   #1
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I always try and buy great gifts for all my friends and family, but I was reflecting all the shitty gifts I have received in the past. See if anyone can top this.....

for my birthday, Shok sent me an express mail ziploc baggie of his spooge! It was funny at first, but then he is sorta stalker like! I never really mentioned it, but since Xmas is coming, NO BODY FLUIDS FROM YOU PLEASE SHOK!

Thanks!



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Old 12-02-2002   #2
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it started out as popcicles, i guess it melted
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Old 12-02-2002   #3
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it won't top yours but...

Quick background - I'm immature, watch cartoons, have nonadult toys and such..

About 3 years ago I got dog squeeky toys as a gift. They were the gift, wasn't a joke, wasn't in addition to anything else and I don't have a dog.

Yup, the rubber squeeky toys of the 7 dwarfs was probably the worst gift I got in a while..
-Dennis
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Old 12-02-2002   #4
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I was dating a guy in NJ who made a decent amount of money (though in NJ, that's relative ). We started dating in January, so it had been almost a year when Christmas rolled around. I wear very little jewelry, but what I do wear is nice - no costume jewelry and nothing large.

He gave me the TACKIEST, largest, heaviest crap necklace, earrings, bracelet and pin I've ever seen in my entire life. We're talking Walmart quality here (not that there's anything wrong with that - I don't want Shok to get a complex since that's where he buys jewelry). Add to that I mentioned that we needed egg nog for Christmas and he bought the junk that comes in a can - NASTY.

I sold the "jewelry" (and I do use that term loosely) at a garage sale for $5 so I guess all wasn't lost
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Old 12-02-2002   #5
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my father buys me a diary whenever he bothers to buy a gift

he gets my sister and I matching ones ... the ones you buy on a newstand for $5, with gold leafing around the edge and a maroon or black cover with a ribbon to show the page ....

being that i haven't used a paper organizer in about 3 years, I wonder when i will ever stop receiving diaries ...

does anyone want to buy unused diaries from 1996, 1999 and 2002?
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Old 12-02-2002   #6
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the worst gift I got for Xmass was...gonorreah.

no more Christian holidays for me
;-)))
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Old 12-02-2002   #7
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my worst christmas gift ever:

when I was 16, all I wanted was a Transam, like the smokey and the bandit car.
Well one day my dad and I found one. I was in love, had to have it.
I begged and pleaded for it for christmas...my dad kept saying dont worry, you'll get it.
Every week we would go by and look ait to make sure it wasnt sold. Everything on it was perfect, except it was missing a radiator overflow bottle. No big deal, those are cheap, easy fix.
My dad kept telling me how cool it will be when I get that car, then he wont have to give me rides anymore.

I told all my friends about it before christmas break and we all made plans on where we would be driving after I got it.

Christmas day comes and my parents have this little box for me under the tree. I was so excited, i figured they were being cute and put the keys in there. When I opened it up it was a plastic radiator overflow bottle.
I was like, wow I really did get it cause heres the part I need!
I slowly realized that they didnt get me the car
They got the part for me for when I got the car myself!

I asked my dad what happened....he had told me I would get it. He said I know I told you that, cause you will the get the car....when you get a descent job and can pay for it.



i stabbed them in their sleep that night
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Old 12-02-2002   #8
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OH ronnie! You should have sent it in a cooler then! duh! Did you think the sheer temperature in Canada would keep them frozen? lol

OH and another one (and I'm not mentioning any names but don't get that offended) was when my b/f at the time who was American, went out and blew like $1K CAD ($40 USD haha) at the mall while I got a manicure. When we met up, he said he bought me something, so I was excited to get home to see what he bought me. WELL it was a pair or boxers that had the Canada flag on them or something for himself, but he bought them for ME right. Wow. I was thrilled. ROFL

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Old 12-02-2002   #9
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Shok,
I'll trade you plastic bottle for gonoreah any time
;-))
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Old 12-02-2002   #10
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Oh and to add to my boxer shorts story, I didn't stab him, but I couple days later I told him I would (the resentment over the boxers perhaps....?) then he left, so he didn't get stabbed. If I saw him now, I don't think I would stab him. No unless he deserved it.
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Old 12-02-2002   #11
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When I was a prodom I made all my clients bring me a bottle of wine or perfume. You can tell a lot about a man this way.

There are men who put thought into something.
Men who have no imagination and feel they need to impress by buying the most expensive.
Men who just don't give a fuck and get by.


Obviously this determined the outcome of the session.
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Old 12-02-2002   #12
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Quote:
Originally posted by Shann@Dec 2 2002, 11:05 AM
Oh and to add to my boxer shorts story, I didn't stab him, but I couple days later I told him I would (the resentment over the boxers perhaps....?) then he left, so he didn't get stabbed. If I saw him now, I don't think I would stab him. No unless he deserved it.
LMFAO!!!!
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Old 12-02-2002   #13
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hmmm lots of stabbings going on at christmas. :grrr:
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Old 12-02-2002   #14
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Quote:
Originally posted by Shok@Dec 3 2002, 03:58 AM
my worst christmas gift ever:

when I was 16, all I wanted was a Transam, like the smokey and the bandit car.
Well one day my dad and I found one. I was in love, had to have it.
I begged and pleaded for it for christmas...my dad kept saying dont worry, you'll get it.
Every week we would go by and look ait to make sure it wasnt sold. Everything on it was perfect, except it was missing a radiator overflow bottle. No big deal, those are cheap, easy fix.
My dad kept telling me how cool it will be when I get that car, then he wont have to give me rides anymore.

I told all my friends about it before christmas break and we all made plans on where we would be driving after I got it.

Christmas day comes and my parents have this little box for me under the tree. I was so excited, i figured they were being cute and put the keys in there. When I opened it up it was a plastic radiator overflow bottle.
I was like, wow I really did get it cause heres the part I need!
I slowly realized that they didnt get me the car
They got the part for me for when I got the car myself!

I asked my dad what happened....he had told me I would get it. He said I know I told you that, cause you will the get the car....when you get a descent job and can pay for it.



i stabbed them in their sleep that night
did it work... Did you ever get the car?
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Old 12-02-2002   #15
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hahaha actually yes it did.
I bought the car a month later, they let me borrow some of it.

1 year to the day after I bought it, I wrapped it around a telephone pole.

Dont ever let your teenage son have a car with more than 350 horsepower.
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Old 12-02-2002   #16
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all for the better anyway, it got like 2 gallons to the mile and I couldnt afford the gas
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Old 12-02-2002   #17
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OK now i'm in shit, for the record, at a later date, the boxer shorts story guy, came through for me later and bought me gorgeous Prada boots that cost more than half of Canadians make in a week. So although I'm NOT taking back the boxer story, he wasn't ALL bad and i WON'T stab him.... maybe just smack him around a bit!

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Old 12-02-2002   #18
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sounds like someone read your thread :P
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Old 12-02-2002   #19
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My goofball cousin bought me an assortment of candles one year. Not exactly a "guy" gift.
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Old 12-02-2002   #20
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Quote:
Originally posted by Shann@Dec 2 2002, 01:05 PM
So although I'm NOT taking back the boxer story, he wasn't ALL bad and i WON'T stab him.... maybe just smack him around a bit!

Don't feel bad - Shok once gave me a pair of his USED boxers with the Rainbow Flag on them
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Old 12-02-2002   #21
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I think that was a stain, not a flag
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Old 12-02-2002   #22
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Quote:
Originally posted by Shok@Dec 2 2002, 01:17 PM
I think that was a stain, not a flag
Unfortunately, the stain was ON the flag :angry:

There's hope for you though: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/artic...9-2002Dec2.html

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Old 12-02-2002   #23
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Yes smart ass someone read my thread, it was the "is this you guy?" that got me in shit! LOL

And rainbow boxers from Shok! Are you coming out of that closet FINALLY Shok! Though I do believe they could have been stained as well!
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Old 12-02-2002   #24
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I'm not gay!!

Just because my boyfriend is, that doesnt make me gay!
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Old 12-02-2002   #25
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HAHAHA What does it make you then, the "top"?
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Old 12-02-2002   #26
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Quote:
Originally posted by Shok@Dec 3 2002, 04:34 AM
hahaha actually yes it did.
I bought the car a month later, they let me borrow some of it.

1 year to the day after I bought it, I wrapped it around a telephone pole.

Dont ever let your teenage son have a car with more than 350 horsepower.
hehehe... Making you unwrap the water bottle... now that's evil

It's easy to give our kids anything they want.. much harder to do shit like that! (and I am NOT good at acting like that myself.. just know I should be) and I dont agree about the 350hp!?!?... every boy should have one

Crappy Xmas Presents?!?! You people have no ide! When I was a boy we got a paper bag of gravel Every Year... and we were bloody happy with it!!!
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Old 12-02-2002   #27
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Quote:
Originally posted by Shann@Dec 2 2002, 09:33 AM
HAHAHA What does it make you then, the "top"?
ask peaches
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Old 12-02-2002   #28
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My brother , technick ,was born on Xmass day 1971.

Totally ruined Xmass that year.

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Old 12-02-2002   #29
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OUCH a sibling for Xmas! That sucks! rofl
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Old 12-02-2002   #30
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one year, I got maced by Santa......

well, I think it was Santa...

he was large and wore funny clothes and loved to eat cookies by the ton....hmmm, come to think of it...it may have been Ted Kennedy........
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Old 12-02-2002   #31
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Well Sykk, obviously you didn't go for a DRIVE with Senator Kennedy since you're still HERE! Guess he didn't mistake you for Mary Jo Kopechne!
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Old 12-02-2002   #32
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I can honestly say that I have not gotten a shitty gift...If your thinking about me at Christmas then that's great.....

But this year is not over yet!!
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Old 12-02-2002   #33
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Peaches, is Shok a top or bottom? LOL He strikes me as a bottom, he's the getter not the giver! :P
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Old 12-02-2002   #34
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Quote:
Originally posted by Shann@Dec 2 2002, 07:50 PM
Peaches, is Shok a top or bottom? LOL He strikes me as a bottom, he's the getter not the giver! :P
As bizarre as it might seem, he's a SIDE!
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Old 12-02-2002   #35
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I have gotten a lot of wierd stuff from my moms side of the family. One year I got a Polo key chain, it was funny because it was the "free gift" for buying Polo Cologne. So I put it on my dogs collar. I also once got a terrible candle holder, it was probably a matching pair but one might have broke so they gave me one.

haha

Luckily I can smile about these things!!
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Old 12-02-2002   #36
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An engagement ring that was used (previously worn by his ex girlfriend) and the idiot bragged about it (No it wasn't Chris!!!!)
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Old 12-02-2002   #37
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Quote:
Originally posted by Edd@Dec 2 2002, 01:50 PM
Well Sykk, obviously you didn't go for a DRIVE with Senator Kennedy since you're still HERE! Guess he didn't mistake you for Mary Jo Kopechne!
I may be slightly retarded, but I'm not THAT far gone...yet...
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Old 12-02-2002   #38
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Quote:
Originally posted by SykkBoy@Dec 2 2002, 08:17 PM
I may be slightly retarded, but I'm not THAT far gone...yet...
HAHAHA! I think I'll add that to one of the "tagslots" for posting....

"Slight Retard"
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Old 12-02-2002   #39
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The worst thing I got for Xmas was a phone call from some guy saying I gave him gonohrrea.
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Old 12-02-2002   #40
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Quote:
Originally posted by Edd+Dec 2 2002, 08:21 PM-->
QUOTE (Edd @ Dec 2 2002, 08:21 PM)
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Old 12-02-2002   #41
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Quote:
Originally posted by Peaches+Dec 2 2002, 03:56 PM-->
QUOTE (Peaches @ Dec 2 2002, 03:56 PM)
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Old 12-02-2002   #42
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Quote:
Originally posted by SykkBoy+Dec 2 2002, 08:46 PM-->
QUOTE (SykkBoy @ Dec 2 2002, 08:46 PM)
Quote:
Originally posted by -Edd@Dec 2 2002, 08:21 PM
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Old 12-02-2002   #43
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Quote:
Originally posted by cj@Dec 2 2002, 09:23 PM

does it work?!

:P
yes

I act like an idiot and my wife says "Oh fuck, here, let me do it" and I go back to watching baseball or playing on the computer or working or sleeping

I would often act dumb just to let someone else do the work/task at hand....
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Old 12-02-2002   #44
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Quote:
Originally posted by SykkBoy+Dec 2 2002, 09:27 PM-->
QUOTE (SykkBoy @ Dec 2 2002, 09:27 PM)
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Old 12-02-2002   #45
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Quote:
Originally posted by cj+Dec 2 2002, 09:34 PM-->

QUOTE (cj @ Dec 2 2002, 09:34 PM)
Quote:
Originally posted by -SykkBoy@Dec 2 2002, 09:27 PM
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Old 12-02-2002   #46
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This one time, at band camp,

I got a blow job.




Actually, just think, the gifts you got that sucked, well
at least you got SOMETHING.
One Christmas, not long ago, I didnt even get a card.
My parents forgot about me.

What a cruel world I live in.
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Old 12-02-2002   #47
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Quote:
Originally posted by SykkBoy@Dec 2 2002, 09:43 PM
same reason a woman can come to a message board and have an issue and 20 webmasters are falling all over themselves to help her (especially if she has posted a tit shot recently) it works both ways really.......
HA!!!!
I asked for a coach at the beginning of the pickem season and NADA!!

I guess I forgot the 'show your tits' part



voodoo, that makes me sad!!!!!! the thought of you all alone at xmas!!!
the worst xmas i've ever had was when i was 19 ... i had to work xmas period in a bar while i was at college so I decided not to go home. I got so smashed drunk the night before, and went to bed at 9am so I could sleep the day away. the phone kept ringing and it was my family ringing to say they loved me and wished i was with them on xmas (all the happy party sounds in the background). It was very sad ;-(

This year, my sister is in canada so its only the 2nd xmas our family will be apart ;-(

I'm going to go stock up on vodka ;-))))

:P
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Old 12-02-2002   #48
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My near fatal overdose was on Christmas Eve...

my grandparents and their friends were in a car wreck coming home from a Christmas party at the local church and were hit by a drunk driver...one of their friends was sentenced to life in a wheelchair and his wife was brtain damaged from the car wreck...

I was riding home with a buddy from work on a Christmas Day in 1989 and we rolled his Jeep 3 times into a ditch...and I stained a really nice wolfskin jacket with all the blood...

my dad's hunting accident which ended up with him getting half his jaw blown off was during the Christmas season...


Season's Greetings From SykkBoy
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