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Old 11-14-2003   #1
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DO NOT eat much sugar-free jellybeans at once. You'll shit like never before. Goddamn..
..gotta run.
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Old 11-14-2003   #2
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Words of wisdom from Steve Martin (circa 1977):

Never......err...um....I mean Always....

Take a litter bag in your car with you......Its easy, helps keep things neat...
and when its full........










You can just toss it out of the window......






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Old 11-14-2003   #3
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Quote:
Originally posted by sarettah@Nov 14 2003, 08:23 AM
Words of wisdom from Steve Martin (circa 1977):

Never......err...um....I mean Always....

Take a litter bag in your car with you......Its easy, helps keep things neat...
and when its full........










You can just toss it out of the window......
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHH
hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

from my childhood

Thanks Sarettah

classic truly classic
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Old 11-14-2003   #4
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as internet porn business is getting tougher,
ask yourself:
where in the real world can I utilize the skills I developed here?
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Old 11-14-2003   #5
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You've got to be honest,
if you can fake that,
you've got it made.
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Old 11-14-2003   #6
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Best advice I ever received in my life:


Never fuck with another man's living.



PC disclaimer - by man's I of course mean "person's".
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Old 11-14-2003   #7
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when in Business

K.I.S.S.

Keep
It
Simple
Stupid

I got the stupid down pat

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Old 11-14-2003   #8
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Always drop at least 3 roofies in Peache's drink before you try anal on her.

Also, date girls that can't figure out how to dial 911
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Old 11-14-2003   #9
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Animal crackers - they aren't just for animals anymore.
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Old 11-14-2003   #10
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Quote:
Originally posted by Menace@Nov 14 2003, 09:46 AM
Best advice I ever received in my life:


Never fuck with another man's living.



PC disclaimer - by man's I of course mean "person's".
Ahhhh.. GREAT avatar!! I LOVE the miser brothers!! Though I like the cold miser brother better!!

Never let your personal life get in the way of the success of your professional life!
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Old 11-14-2003   #11
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There are short-sleepers and long-sleepers.

Short-sleepers need as little as five and a half hours.
Long-sleepers need as much as about nine and a half hours.

Thats means that the short-sleepers can get 2 months more work done than long-sleepers - every year! or in their entire lifetime its more than 12 years!!!

If you are long-sleeper, but know that you have the inherited genetic needed to become a short-sleeper, then improve the quality of your life (less stress, better diet, reqular exercise, and more exposure to light).

You will then always be ahead of the rest
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Old 11-14-2003   #12
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Quote:
Originally posted by TheEnforcer+Nov 14 2003, 10:42 AM-->
QUOTE (TheEnforcer @ Nov 14 2003, 10:42 AM)
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Old 11-14-2003   #13
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Look out kid
Don't matter what you did
Walk on your tip toes
Don't try "No Doz"
Better stay away from those
That carry around a fire hose
Keep a clean nose
Watch the plain clothes
You don't need a weather man
To know which way the wind blows
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Old 11-14-2003   #14
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Quote:
Originally posted by Rolo@Nov 14 2003, 07:53 AM
You will then always be ahead of the rest
and then you die.

my contribution:

time flies like an arrow
but fruit flies like a banana.
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Old 11-14-2003   #15
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Always finish what you
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Old 11-14-2003   #16
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Quote:
Originally posted by eatapeach@Nov 14 2003, 08:20 AM
and then you die.
and thats why we got to make the most of it
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Old 11-14-2003   #17
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Don't eat yellow snow!


now thats a tip
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Old 11-14-2003   #18
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Quote:
Originally posted by FATPad@Nov 14 2003, 11:26 AM
Always finish what you
lol..

I was going to suggest the same thing, but I walked away from the computer and didn't press submit.
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Old 11-14-2003   #19
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When you are about to snap an elbow with an armbar, make sure that both of your knees are held tight together. This stops them from rolling their arm, thumb down. Remember that the power comes from your legs and back and that no matter how strong the other person is, they will lose.

You don't actually break someone's arm in a armbar, you dislocate their elbow. Painfully.
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Old 11-14-2003   #20
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Quote:
Originally posted by Anthony@Nov 14 2003, 09:09 PM
When you are about to snap an elbow with an armbar, make sure that both of your knees are held tight together. This stops them from rolling their arm, thumb down. Remember that the power comes from your legs and back and that no matter how strong the other person is, they will lose.

You don't actually break someone's arm in a armbar, you dislocate their elbow. Painfully.
Recently I've discovered... you make me very nervous


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Old 11-14-2003   #21
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Never take more cash than you want to spend, to your favorite bar, and leave the credit cards at home.

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Old 11-14-2003   #22
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Quote:
Originally posted by Trev+Nov 14 2003, 02:11 PM-->
QUOTE (Trev @ Nov 14 2003, 02:11 PM)
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Old 11-14-2003   #23
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Quote:
Originally posted by Anthony@Nov 14 2003, 02:09 PM
When you are about to snap an elbow with an armbar, make sure that both of your knees are held tight together. This stops them from rolling their arm, thumb down. Remember that the power comes from your legs and back and that no matter how strong the other person is, they will lose.

You don't actually break someone's arm in a armbar, you dislocate their elbow. Painfully.
"Rubbing elbows" with Anthony just took on a whole new meaning.
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Old 11-14-2003   #24
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Quote:
Originally posted by Shok@Nov 14 2003, 11:27 AM
Always drop at least 3 roofies in Peache's drink before you try anal on her.
I'm starting to build up a resistance to them - better try 5 next time!

My advice:
When the woman's happy, the man is happy - always keep the woman happy. :P
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Old 11-14-2003   #25
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Here is advice that was given to me by God himself:






Never use your tongue to stop a fan.






(10pts if you can tell me what that is from)



Last edited by DrGuile at Nov 14 2003, 05:37 PM
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Old 11-14-2003   #26
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Quote:
Originally posted by Peaches+Nov 14 2003, 04:45 PM-->
QUOTE (Peaches @ Nov 14 2003, 04:45 PM)
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Old 11-14-2003   #27
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Quote:
Originally posted by Forest+Nov 14 2003, 11:46 AM-->
QUOTE (Forest @ Nov 14 2003, 11:46 AM)
Quote:
Originally posted by -Trev@Nov 14 2003, 02:11 PM
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Old 11-14-2003   #28
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someone looks like they need a bran muffin and some starbucks
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Old 11-15-2003   #29
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Quote:
Originally posted by Shok@Nov 14 2003, 06:14 PM
someone looks like they need a bran muffin and some starbucks
That's an asskicking.

Please pick up your asskicking this weekend if you are in town. Comes with a wet kiss and tounge in ear.
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Old 11-15-2003   #30
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the only advice i have is always sit where you can see all entrances.
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Old 11-15-2003   #31
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I have one more lesson I learned a few weeks back, very important.. so listen up kids.


"NEVER scratch your balls after you've sliced habanero chilis without washing hands."
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Old 11-15-2003   #32
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Quote:
Originally posted by cherrylula@Nov 14 2003, 11:42 AM
Never take more cash than you want to spend, to your favorite bar, and leave the credit cards at home.

Pretty close to what I think,

"never gamble more than you're willing to lose"
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Old 11-15-2003   #33
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Quote:
Originally posted by Anthony+Nov 14 2003, 06:07 PM-->
QUOTE (Anthony @ Nov 14 2003, 06:07 PM)
Quote:
Originally posted by -Forest@Nov 14 2003, 11:46 AM
Quote:
Originally posted by -Trev@Nov 14 2003, 02:11 PM
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Old 11-15-2003   #34
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These two will never do you wrong.

Everything that comes out of a womans mouth is a self serving lie.
Trust noone and expect the worst.



Last edited by [Labret] at Nov 15 2003, 12:20 PM
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Old 11-15-2003   #35
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Quote:

« Previous Thread | Next Thread »

Originally posted by TeenGodFather+Nov 15 2003, 11:58 AM-->
QUOTE (TeenGodFather @ Nov 15 2003, 11:58 AM)
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Old 11-15-2003   #36
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Another Day...another tip.....

Words of wisdom from mom:

Don't tap dance on a rug with sneakers......



For tommorrow....

Lillygirl in the 4th.......
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Old 11-15-2003   #37
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Be good to the people you meet on the way up...

...You may meet them again on the way down.
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Old 11-15-2003   #38
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posted it in the wrong thread.

cheers.

never trust a john, and never turn your back on a drunk

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Old 11-16-2003   #39
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Quote:
Originally posted by DrGuile@Nov 14 2003, 05:35 PM
Here is advice that was given to me by God himself:






Never use your tongue to stop a fan.






(10pts if you can tell me what that is from)
Kids in the Hall
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Old 11-16-2003   #40
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Old 11-16-2003   #41
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1. Never tell all you know...
2. ...
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Old 11-16-2003   #42
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if you have a 2.5 year old and a talking parrot they will have conversations together

and if Snow White becomes your 2.5 year old's favorite movie of the week ......
Your parrot is going to say "Hi-Ho, Hi-Ho" and start to whistle



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Old 11-16-2003   #43
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If you ever want to scare the kid , whack the parrot.
If you wanna scare everyone ,whack your own kid.


h34r: h34r: h34r:
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Old 11-16-2003   #44
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never piss off someone you trust; you'll never know when those dirty little secrets will come back to haunt you.
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Old 11-16-2003   #45
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Quote:
Originally posted by Cassie@Nov 16 2003, 12:11 PM
never piss off someone you trust; you'll never know when those dirty little secrets will come back to haunt you.
Trust no one.
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Old 11-16-2003   #46
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Quote:
Originally posted by Anthony@Nov 14 2003, 06:07 PM
May I formally nominate this picture for the next caption contest?

So many punch lines.. so little time.
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Old 11-16-2003   #47
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oh and I forgot my tip..

Never poke a stick at anything bigger than you..

unless its Anthony.
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Old 11-16-2003   #48
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You people fucking crack me up
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Old 11-17-2003   #49
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It is never too late to have a happy childhood............
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Old 11-17-2003   #50
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