I don't believe Sykk's on the web now mutt.. don't see him on ICQ.


TheEnforcer Making Bank- $84 per trial signup on 100+ sites!

I know Ivory's father was a wrestler.. probably wasn't Steele though...



TheEnforcer Making Bank- $84 per trial signup on 100+ sites!

http://www.cnn.com/2002/US/03/13/dear.abby.arrest.ap/index.html
Mike AI

that's not the answer the guy gave Enforcer. This guy might be wrong but I doubt it, he is a wrestling maniac who i think works for the WWF, seriously hooked into them anyways. He has a wrestling phoneline, rumors, trivia, etc.

Sykkboy's almost out of time.
mutt

I'm not 100% sure mutt, but I do believe Ivory is George Steele's daughter. Although I might be wrong and Killer Kowalski is her dad...


TheEnforcer Making Bank- $84 per trial signup on 100+ sites!

Really cool site
Even has animation to explain things
http://www.curlingbasics.com/

Vick An ounce of pretention is worth a pound of manure

hmmmmmm.....maybe I stumped Sykkboy!

no fair calling your wrestling buddy friends or using Google Sykkboy.

nice try Vick. Miss Steele.
mutt

Curling is HUGE here Vick. And it's growing in the Unied States. Somebody posted here during the Olympics that it originated in Norway. I thought Scotland.

It's shuffleboard on ice. Bocce ball on ice. Lawn bowling. They're all the same sport basically.


mutt

"Who is George the Animal Steele's daughter? "
Miss Steele? ;-)



Vick First you burn, *then* you rape. It's so much more romantic by firelight

well you do have some things in common i guess Mike. And she is older than Katie i think so give it a shot. Send her a note and tell her she has what it takes to have a Hirise amateur girl site of her own!

mutt

I'm all for female naked olypmics ;-)
Curling is such a funny sport
Wonder how it got started? How did someone come up with the concept and then get other people to do it?
Adding naked chicks, beer and betting would make it even better

Have all the White Trash references
Circus of Power doing "White trash Queen"

The Britney thing is too funny
Wonder if Diamond David Lee Roth with get better hair and go after her ha ha ha


Vick Some people flirt with disaster. I actually dated her

hey Sykkboy

i'm listening to my local all sports radio station as I work here. They are discussing wrestling, i don't like wrestling but I do know lots of the names and what they look like.
One of the guys just asked a trivia question. I'm sure you know this answer but I was shocked.

Who is George the Animal Steele's daughter?


mutt

Hey Britney's single after dumping her bf.
___________

Maybe she would like a nice porn lord who is hung like a flea from her home state?


Mike AI

Britney should hook up with Tommy Lee and IEG. ;)


Ulfie Have I told you yet that Mr Cash kicks ass?

hahaha....i read that story about the people dumping urine on Britney earlier today.

Hey Britney's single after dumping her bf. This is like open season for every cocksman on the planet. Probably the ultimate conquest if it's true that she might still be a virgin. I can see all of them coming out of the woodwork, old guys like Warren Beatty and Jagger back in training, Costner, George Clooney, Scott Baio, Russel Crowe,
every sleazy showbiz creton on the prowl.

I bet she goes with an older guy this time. I'm making Clooney the early favorite.

Best of all worlds would be Britney and Mike Tyson.
mutt

Anyone get any celeb pics of this?

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/020310/140/ctlq5.html


Ulfie Have I told you yet that Mr Cash kicks ass?

"undisputed Queen of White Trash"
Hey I resemble that remark!
----------------

Vick there's White Trash and then there's WHITE TRASH!! Tonya gives white trash a bad name!!

;>))


TheEnforcer Making Bank- $84 per trial signup on 100+ sites!

Man, the ideas are flowing here tonight.

Vick, how about nude snowboarding, figure skating, ski jumping, etc? TV ratings would be off the charts. ;)


Ulfie Have I told you yet that Mr Cash kicks ass?

About boxing, it's so sad that what was once the most glamorous coolest sport is now just a pathetic joke. The best they can do is Mike Tyson vs Lennox Lewis. And that fight will still make them each 30 million.

All the best athletes they say, especially African Americans now go into the NBA and the NFL. But most of these guys, will only make 2 or 3 million dollars a year. How much does Ray Lewis make? 4 or 5 mil?
To me this guy if he got real serious and devoted a couple of years to learn how to box he could be a heavyweight champ and make 30 million a fight. Lots of these NFL and NBA guys with the right training could be great boxers. Right now you are getting the lowest riff raff possible in boxing.


mutt

The sport I still want to see ....
WNCL
Women's Nude Curling League

Thinking it would draw huge numbers live and on TV
Imagine beautiful nude women with a broom in hand, gliding down the ice making a path for the stone

Add beer and betting and it's better by far than the olympics and MLB


Vick Celibacy is not an inherited characteristic

Tonya Harding - still the undisputed Queen of White Trash.
=================================

and the problem with that would be...?

Mutt, the WWF tried a boxin style thing called Brawl For It All and it was a shoot, not a work. They scrapped it due to people with more important storylines getting legit hurt and it just didn't draw the heat they were looking for...and of course when you have a wretler like Bart Gunn winning and the crowd just dopesn't like the guy, that doesn't help (they didn't hate him in "he's a bad guy" snese, it was a "get this fuckwrinkle off our tv sense").

the Celebrity Boxing thing is amusing...I think it would be more fun with people who have legit grudges with each other...and I like the fact they aren't athletes..if I want to watch athletic boxing, I'll tune into HBO's Boxing After Dark ;))))
SykkBoy

I was at a game in 1979, Pens vs. Oilers, Gretzky's rookie year, Clackson was taking shots at him repeatedly. Bench clearing brawl, not the sissy baseball kind either. Every time the officials dragged Clackson off the ice he kept coming back out. Eventually the cops came out and took him away. That game set an NHL record for penalty minutes that stood for like 10 years.

I don't know if you have ever seen the tough man competition on FX but they do a NFL one and it's weak at best. Put some ex-NHL'ers in there that really know how to fight and I think it could work. Probably would be HUGE in Canada and I'm sure it would draw in the US as well.


Ulfie Have I told you yet that Mr Cash kicks ass?

Ulfie that's an idea. Since I don't think the NHL would let its players participate in a real boxing event, use retired players, some old guys like Battleship Kelly and the guys who've just retired like a Marty McSorely.

It would be popular in Canada, i think ESPN 2 would show it in the USA. Too bad I wasn't more of a go getter type. I tried the entertainment biz for awhile, i just got tired and gave up.

Dave Tiger Williams vs Dave Schultz

I remember Kim Clackson. Not that well though.

Man when I was a kid and they used to empty the benches what a freakin spectacle. NHL should just realise that's what most fans want in addition to good hockey, they worry far too much about drawing new fans who will never take to the game anyways. Do you think there are 100 people who watched the Olympic hockey and now are watching the NHL for the first time? Nope. It's a regional sport and always will be.
mutt

"undisputed Queen of White Trash"
Hey I resemble that remark!

The boxing was funny/stupid
Will probably pull good rating this time, will dump the next

Only saw "Boom Boom" Bonaduce
Have to watch Dennis Leary in "The Job"
Got to love a comedy with no laugh track
Damn it I know when to laugh and what is witty/funny

Very interested to see what will happen with MC
Obviously significant revenue for everyone - CC and third party processors included

Wig - good one about relative humidity
Another month or so to Valdalia's ;-)


Vick Don't hate yourself in the morning - sleep past noon.

Tonya Harding - still the undisputed Queen of White Trash.

Monk

mutt, I think you are onto something here.

I would like to see

Bob "Battleship" Kelly
vs.
Bob "Drunken idiot" Probert

Both were great fighters and Kelly is a lot older but I bet he can still kick some ass!

Kim Clackson (you need to be a REAL hockey fan to remember him) was another guy that could pummel just about anyone. He sells real estate around here now. Still looks like he could take just about anyone though. ;)


Ulfie Have I told you yet that Mr Cash kicks ass?

mutt, i watched it. pretty pathetic.

the best fight was danny "boom boom"
bonaducie beating up greg brady.

i thought tonya harding would have done better.

you are right, though. they should
have at least used some real athletes.


Wig Make more money off of your check processing!

Jordan, Brandi, thanks for dinner, guys!


Serge

Anybody watch Celebrity Boxing?
I just caught the last fight between Tonya Harding and Paula Jones. Something very sad about the whole thing.

They should use athletes maybe. Like take two WWF guys and put them in the ring in a real boxing match.
Take a hockey goon and an NFL player.

I've always had this idea for a summer boxing event of all the NHL tough guys boxing without skates. It would be great, only thing is their contracts wouldn't allow them to do anything that might hurt them.

i'm curious to see the Nielsen ratings on this.
mutt

Mr. Cash you have mail.
R3K

Yep Mutt, they're all crooks!

Does the basketball start tomorrow? I have a very unique technique for making basketball picks since I know nothing about the game. We'll see if it works.


Ulfie Have I told you yet that Mr Cash kicks ass?

I hear ya Ulfie. We have a guy here Paul Godfrey who lives very near me in a 5 million dollar home. He is now the CEO of the Blue Jays.
The guy was a politician all his life until he left politics, he should have had NO money when he left politics.
mutt

doh. i missed your point.


ENTER THE NATIONAL NET MARCH MADNESS MANIA CONTEST!!! YOU'LL BE SORRY AS THINGS HEAT UP IN A WEEK OR TWO!!!

http://www.opranoplus.com/marchmadness

a couple content companies I wasn' familiar with put up some prizes

Voyeur Video/Photo Sets
http://www.haremgroup.com/content/main.htm
1000 PIC SETS AT ROCK BOTTOM PRICES
http://www.xratedstudio.com


mutt

Mutt, our former local congressman Ron Klink was the weekend weatherman here on channel 2. He was making 17K/year when he was elected. He served 1 or 2 terms and got voted out. He moved back here and built a $750,000 house. Still think there isn't any money in politics? ;)


Ulfie

Mutt my point is politicans make the laws that enable lawyers to get rich!


Mike AI MarchMadness only a few more hours to make your picks!

nah politicians make peanuts in salaries. Litigators at internatinal caliber law firms make a million a year. Not including bonuses probably.

mutt

Internet is the single greatest thing to happen to the legal profession.
___________


Nah Legislatures, on the state and federal level are.
Mike AI MarchMadness only a few more hours to make your picks!

holy shit. i was just searching for news and everyday I see more lawsuits, Sun suing Microsoft, Microsoft suing somebody else,IBM,AOL,PALM,MACAFEE......billions of dollars of lawsuits. I don't know how they keep track of them all.

Internet is the single greatest thing to happen to the legal profession.
mutt

Clay, good to hear an interpretation from a credible source. ;-) Please keep us informed, as we all know how these things can change in an instant, affecting EVERYONE here!



bpj Checks, Just Checks and nothing but Checks!

Clay,

We are hitting you now with traffic.

We've been happy in the past, thanks for the excellent customer support.

Hopefully the problem is behind us.

=o)
Anthony (Lord Darth Mailer)

First of all, that is not just my interpretation but a team of lawyers and individuals with many years experience working inside the card associations.

This probably will not effect Paypal
or Microsoft, if they develop a similar product. But it will effect those entities who are true "aggregators" and are dumping transactions into the system for other entities and have no relationship with the cardholder.
Clay EPOCH

Clay

Your interpretation of this MasterCard announcement and VISA's future plans is that it's targetted toward PayPal type companies?

Hmmmmm........dunno....major players, Microsoft included are entering the PayPal type biz. I don't see the credit card companies stopping them. Maybe tho.

What I know about banking could fit in one of Nick's custom fit condoms.
mutt

Clay,
You should be working on fixing my account,not posting ;))
***************

Your right, just tweaked the flux capacitor your ready to go now.

send more traffic you'll see the difference.
Clay EPOCH

and Nick, you should be working on getting Anthony to get your sites hooked up with us already! ;-)))


bpj And the meek shall inherit the earth......

".............and theory of relativity? "
Is that an inbreeding joke? ;-)
******************

No Vick, that's relative humidity...
(ie - the sweat off ones balls when he
is fucking his sister) ;-0

Wig Make more money off of your check processing!

Monk,

Currently, I am looking for a decline
into early April and expect the Naz
to hit new intra-year lows (below
1350/NDM2). I only look at the
futures contract.

The DJIA should set a higher low and
the S&P will likely as well.

If this occurs, I still expect a
final rally into at least July. The
DJIA is looking like it may even
re-test the 11,750 high.

Not sure just yet on targets for the
S&P and Naz on the rally. Need to
see the low first (if it occurs as
expected).

After that, I think the party is over
(again). ;-)


Best,
Wig Make more money off of your check processing!

Clay,
You should be working on fixing my account,not posting ;))
Nickatilynx (The Internet's No1 Crook, CERTIFYED!)

".............and theory of relativity? "
Is that an inbreeding joke? ;-)



Vick How far can you open your mind before your brain falls out?

Clay,
please check
http://opranosearch.com/msgboard/
SmutSmith
brings more concerns...
Serge

MASTERCARD


RE: http://www.anexis.com/mastercard.html


We have known about this for quite some time now. Before everyone gets in a frenzy you need to understand that this more than likely DOES NOT apply to 3rd party processors such as Epoch, IBill, CCBill, Jettis etc. MC classifies us as a VASP (value added service provider) even though our industry, and sometimes VISA, refers to us as "aggregators."

It is our belief that this rule which is effective May 1 is directed towards ISO's and models like Paypal.

I am not saying that this will effect Paypal but it may prohibit other entities from developing a similar type business model. Our business model is similar to that of Ticketmaster and differs greatly from what MC refers to as an "aggregator."

VASPs such as Epoch are the legal merchant of record and provide all of the services to the cardholder. There exists written contracts between Epoch and our merchant bank (acquirer) and Epoch and the cardholder via acceptance of the terms and conditions of purchase. It is our interpretation that this falls within MC definition of VASPs rather than an "aggregator."

On another note regarding MC, on April 15th MC will begin to strictly enforce its high risk chargeback monitoring program, which states that high risk merchants cannot exceed a 1% chargeback ratio on chargeback to sales transaction counts or 2.5% chargeback dollar volume to sales transaction dollar volume or they will potentially face stiff fines and termination.

Clay EPOCH

1825 is also where the middle Bollinger Band is sitting right now.


Monk

It is all out of control as far as
I'm concerned. ;-0

Wig Make more money off of your check processing!
Wed, 13 Mar 2002 03:18:56 - IP: 63.151.255.189 - Post # 65146
----------------------

Yup.. couldn't agree more..



TheEnforcer Making Bank- proud supporter of NCAA Pickem at Oprano!

wig,

I went long last Monday and sold my positions on Thurs-Fri. I am not long nor short at this moment.

I am not sure what is next for the NAZ. It broke out of a downtrend channel last Monday and kept sailing upward on heavy volume. Pullback has been on pretty mild volume. I am waiting to see it reacts at 50% and 62% fibonacci levels from the last runup (1700 to 1950) - so 50% retrace would be 1825 or so.

My current theory is that the NAZ might rocket to 2800, which is a 50% fibonacci retracement from the high of 5000 to the low at 1400 - and then get the big selloff to set a new low.

That's my story today but it could change in the next few days, depending on what happens.

I think I read you are looking for a sharp downturn? Been quite sick the last couple days so I have not followed all posts.

Take care!!

Monk

Serge, glad it has worked out for you
and hope it continues... for both of
us. ;-))
Wig
************************

I guess you and me will survive new tougher MC regulations...

anybody wanna become affiliate in
SergeFucksCOATS.com ?
;-))
Serge

TE,

Yeah, I didn't place much stock into
it, but I thought it was interesting
in light of the article you posted.

I would not put anything past the
Feds, no matter what party is in
control.

It is all out of control as far as
I'm concerned. ;-0

Wig Make more money off of your check processing!

interesting fact...

the news about MC broke first at
Oprano LinkUp board..

PLEASE tell me I'm reading this wrong
SmutSmith Mastercard clarification
Wed, 13 Mar 2002 02:12:24 - IP: 209.236.18.133 - Post # 2402

I guess NOT all "newbie" boards are created equal...
Serge

So far, your advice was very very good to me...
***********************

Serge, glad it has worked out for you
and hope it continues... for both of
us. ;-))
Wig Make more money off of your check processing!

Wig,

Interesting article but with Judicial Watch behind it it will likely go about as far as most of their stuff does. Just another way to raise funds and stir shit!! ;>)) If the guy went somewhere else I might have some concern about it.. as it is.. well I'm not gonna put too much stock in it.

But you never know... anything is possible these days.


TheEnforcer Making Bank- proud supporter of NCAA Pickem at Oprano!

Ahh.. yikes.. that is rather interesting! Well... often times things look worse than they really are.. here's to hoping that is the case here!


TheEnforcer Making Bank- proud supporter of NCAA Pickem at Oprano!

Wig,
I hope you are right...I'm loading on bonds and put $1.00 to invest in 4 new hedge funds
on April first.

So far, your advice was very very good to me...
Serge

Wassup, Monk.

You getting short here? I am big short the Naz.

Looking for drop into early April. ;-)
Wig Make more money off of your check processing!

TE,

Regarding the article you posted the
other day, check this out...

http://www.newsmax.com/showinsidecover.shtml?a=2002/3/12/194048

Seems like a potentially a similar
scenario.


Wig Make more money off of your check processing!

Its all about the smiley faces.

Smiley faces RULE!!

:o)
Monk

Enforcer, it seems it is just what Ulfie said, Mastercard is not going to allow "Aggregation" which is what all 3rd party billing companies rely on.

Infact it looks like each subaccount set up under third party account will have to have their own set up with Mastercard.

Someone told me Mastercard and Visda are having issues with one another... so this might have something to do with their breakup.

But I am no expert on this issue, and invite 3rd party processors to break it down for all of us.


Mike AI MarchMadness only a few more hours to make your picks!

I hate to read legal text, especially long legal text! That's what lawyers are for.. so Mike.. in layman's terms.. what are they saying?? :>)) Splain it for us that don't like legal mumbo jumbo!! ;>))


TheEnforcer Making Bank- proud supproter of NCAA Pickem at Oprano!

...and where they will be after May 1st?
************************

Processing Visa?

I don't know, but it seems like all
merchants will be forced to enter
into merchant agreements and
aggregators will somehow get around
it.

I'll find out. ;-)

Wig Make more money off of your check processing!

What is your opinion on this mastercard mess?


Mike AI
************************

.............and theory of relativity?
Serge

magic you still around?

What is your opinion on this mastercard mess?


Mike AI MarchMadness only a few more hours to make your picks!

Serge, comeon you know I have a way with the ladies! haha Lee Noga taught me all of her secrets!


Mike AI
***************************

well,
man should know his limitations...
;-(((

OK,
I'll go out with Jordan tonite instead
;-))
Serge

LOL...Oprano Jr. High.

Have fun kids!

;-))
Magick

Serge, you'll have to take that to one
of your "other" favorite processing
companies. hahaha


Wig
**********************

...and where they will be after May 1st?

;-)))
Serge

Serge, comeon you know I have a way with the ladies! haha Lee Noga taught me all of her secrets!


Mike AI MarchMadness only a few more hours to make your picks!

we even share pizza and red wine together! :-)
****************************

you fuck!

did you have to make me jelous????

;-)))
Serge

I am looking for content for my new and upcoming pay site
SergeFucksCOATS.com
***************

We will process for Coat fucking sites. ;-))
Wig Make more money off of your check processing!

Serge, you'll have to take that to one
of your "other" favorite processing
companies. hahaha


Wig Make more money off of your check processing!

ok,
necessity is a mother of invention...

attention content providers,
I am looking for content for my new and upcoming pay site
SergeFucksCOATS.com
Serge

Serge, RRRed is one of the girls I was refering to who I love. We get along very well, we even share pizza and red wine together! :-)


Mike AI MarchMadness only a few more hours to make your picks!

What's the hard part?

Wig
************************

the hard part is to get your approval for my upcoming
SergeFucksGoats.com site
;-(((

Legal Notice:
=================

no goats were hurt during the content shoots



Serge

or for RRRed or something.
********************************

excuse me, but
RRRed has better taste and following
;-)))

Serge

http://www.anexis.com/mastercard.html

This is very major...
******************************

All the more reason to take a close look at your payment methods.

Let's see...

US AND Canadian ACH
Real-time Account verification
In-house collections department
Loyalty and cross sale programs
Automatic conversion of non-ACH into paper checks
Partner Payouts

What's the hard part?




Wig Make more money off of your check processing!

So on May 1st you can only take MC if you have your own merchant account? Did I read that correctly?


Ulfie
************************

Ulfie, there are going to be several companies who will be affected by that in a very MAJOR way.

knowing who will and who won't will become the subject of whom one believes...

I guess I'll postpone the launch of
SergeFucksGoats.com
'till fur clears.....
Serge

Lotta clowns impersonating business people. MC is just clarifying rules that have always been there in merchant account agreements with all card issuers/banks. They were just naive. Guess they just caught on to the 'cockholster' component to the online biz.
mutt

I thought magic was working with se guru.... or for RRRed or something.

I have a hard time keeping up with everyone jumping from job to job...


Mike AI MarchMadness only a few more hours to make your picks!

MikeAI,
you think she'll follow EC's path of support staff personnel who came to Oprano looking for a piss and end up writing "dear john" letters on the pond???
;-))

when poor souls learn that Oprano piss is reserved for principals only?

;-)))

RB,
where are you?
I missed the last one, it was good!

where are my fucking connolies????
;-0)))


Serge

http://www.anexis.com/mastercard.html

This is very major...
Mike AI MarchMadness only a few more hours to make your picks!

Mike is such a complex person. Does anyone REALLY know Mike? :-)))

Dravyk All Of 'Em

So on May 1st you can only take MC if you have your own merchant account? Did I read that correctly?


Ulfie

Oh my dearest Serge...

I have more skills than you will EVER know ;-))))

I love it when you acknowledge my presence...it makes me feel all warm and mushy inside.

MikeAI, no offense taken. I don't know who you are, either. ;-))




Magick

Magick, I do not know who you are... no offense.

:-)
Mike AI MarchMadness only a few more hours to make your picks!

I also get nervous,when he is very noisy ;))
Nick
**************************

I'll be quite....
http://www.anexis.com/mastercard.html
Serge

Magic,
I love to brighten your day too,
what are your plans after JohnIP?

http://www.anexis.com/mastercard.html

do you have any other trade skills besides porn?
Serge

YAWN...

I just love to watch little boys play..they are soooo amusing.

;-))))))


Magick Oh the love we all have for Serge and MikeAI...

Johnny that is a FACT, I do need to go fishing soon!!

I am happy with my standing with the women in this industry, most who know me are actually friends of mine.

I have a few who would like to cut my nuts off... but that is not a bad thing! :-)


Mike AI MarchMadness only a few more hours to make your picks!

MikeAI... I didn't see any smileys in post 65088.

EC
************************

that is IT!

from now on,
let's conduct all business discussions at
http://www.pusi.com/main.php

it has smiles for ALL ocassions
;-))))
Serge

LOL...not at ALL Mike...I used smily faces Geez...maybe you need another fishing trip;)
JohnIP

Evil Chris, do you not read, I posted:

" I have nothing but love for EC! "

If I would put a smiley face behind it maybe you and others would think I was being sarcastic.

I like you...

Maybe you should e-mail me, we might be able to help one another out.

Business is business.


Mike AI MarchMadness only a few more hours to make your picks!

MikeAI... I didn't see any smileys in post 65088.

EC

It was a joke Johnny IP, lighten up.

Did you not see the :-) behind my comment?

Business climate have you grouchy?


Mike AI MarchMadness only a few more hours to make your picks!

hahahhaha........my god that is an ugly doll.

I once asked the guy who runs an adult video store i used to go to occassionally if anybody actually buys that crap. He said hell yeah i sell loads of them. Then I said 'people buy them for gag gifts right?'......he said "uh no dude....maybe some of em but most guys screw em'

I couldn't even fuck a 5,000 dollar RealDoll. I GOT MY DIGNITY!!!
mutt

Martin, sometimes fucking some of these pornstars is exactly like fucking a plastic doll. :-))

Of course I won't name names..lol!!

Important information from the AP newswire.....

OAK BROOK, IL—Bowing to outcry from consumers and parents groups, the McDonald's Corporation announced Monday that it is discontinuing its new advertising mascot, "The Hammurderer," a mischievous, homicidal imp who kills McDonaldland characters and takes their sandwiches.


Developed by Chicago advertising agency DDB Needham, the Hammurderer made his debut two months ago and has since appeared in a series of Saturday-morning television commercials, as well as on Happy Meal bags and activity placemats. All appearances by and references to the violent, ill-tempered prison escapee will be dropped.

"Over the years, McDonald's has successfully introduced a number of new characters whose defining characteristic is a certain measure of comical, criminal intent," said Andrew Perlich, McDonald's vice-president of promotions. "Such shady characters as The Hamburglar, The Goblins, and the bloodthirsty pirate Captain Crook have all fit nicely into the McDonald's advertising universe. We had every reason to believe that the Hammurderer, with his long rap sheet of burger-related crimes and his signature cry of 'Stabble Stabble Stabble,' would take his place in this proud lineage of McDonaldland mischief-makers."

The Hammurderer's Jan. 11 debut ad—in which he seizes and devours the McDonald's Happy Meal Guys, oblivious to their frantic screams—earned poor marks from parents and child-development experts, who feared the spot might send the message to children that killing is acceptable. Several weeks later, more controversy erupted over the promotional coloring book "Shivved In The McRibs," in which the Hammurderer decapitates Mayor McCheese and eats his head. Responding to widespread public outrage, McDonald's executives defended the coloring book as "not nearly as violent or socially irresponsible as it has been made out to be, given that the Mayor's head is, in fact, a giant and conceivably edible cheeseburger."

But the uproar over the latest commercial, in which Birdie The Early Bird is garroted by the Hammurderer and her body tossed in a Dumpster, was vociferous enough to prompt the fast-food giant to pull the plug.

"We are sensitive to the concerns of parents and will immediately begin phasing out this character," Perlich said. "Whether we will remove him from commercials without explanation or write him out of the spots with a bloody police standoff, we have yet to decide. But we're confident the Hammurderer will be off the national radar by April."

Hammurderer toys and promotional items, which include dolls, T-shirts, ski masks, and spiked bats, have been recalled and are expected to become prized collectibles.

This is not the first time a McDonald's character has stirred controversy for its violent nature. In 1982, the company introduced "Shakes McJunkie," an emaciated addict who robbed characters of their possessions, which he then sold to buy McDonald's shakes. He was later reworked as "The Machead," a homeless, wild-eyed Big Mac addict who turned to panhandling and gay prostitution as a means of supporting his severe burger habit.

The Hammurderer is quickly becoming regarded as the worst-received advertising mascot since Kool-Aid's 1989 discontinuation of "The Grapist," a huge purple monster who sodomizes thirsty children.

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