Dear Dr. Laura,

Winetalk.com · 08-18-2005

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind him that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the specific laws and how to best follow them.

a) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

b) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

c) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

d) Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

e) I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

f) A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an Abomination (Lev 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

g) Lev 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

h) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev 19:27. How should they die?

i) I know from Lev 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

j) My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Lev 24:10-16) Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help.

Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your devoted disciple and adoring fan.

spazlabz · 08-18-2005

This is the best way I have seen to point out the rediculous arguments made by the extreme right in this couontry. Thanks Serge, made me laugh out loud

spaz

Nickatilynx · 08-18-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by spazlabz

This is the best way I have seen to point out the rediculous arguments made by the extreme right in this couontry. Thanks Serge, made me laugh out loud

spaz

My Son ,

That is old Testamnet , not New Testament , and we of the religious right follow the teachings of christ.

Together , in Christ

Rev. Nick

spazlabz · 08-18-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nickatilynx

My Son ,

That is old Testamnet , not New Testament , and we of the religious right follow the teachings of christ.

Together , in Christ

Rev. Nick

dude I so almost took you seriously for a minute!

spaz

gonzo · 08-18-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by spazlabz

dude I so almost took you seriously for a minute!

spaz

He is serious!!

Nickatilynx · 08-18-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by spazlabz

dude I so almost took you seriously for a minute!

spaz

Bless you my son

http://www.churchoftomorrow.com/

spazlabz · 08-18-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nickatilynx

Bless you my son

http://www.churchoftomorrow.com/

well if thats the case (about new testament) then i wish others on the extreme right would follow that. They are constantly referring to the old testament when they are condemning everything and everyone who even slightly disagrees with them.
I guess this site http://www.churchoftomorrow.com/ isn't open for business yet. If it is then they need to pray for a new webmaster.. all the links refresh the page.

spaz

JR · 08-18-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nickatilynx

My Son ,

That is old Testamnet , not New Testament , and we of the religious right follow the teachings of christ.

Together , in Christ

Rev. Nick

haha.

EroticySteve · 08-18-2005

I hope that in our lifetime we do come face to face with intelligent life from another planet. I would like to see how another civilization lives and evolves. I'm sure there would be lessons learned and it would be interesting to see if a more advanced culture has the same issues and problems that we do in regard to religion.

PornoDoggy · 08-18-2005

"A preachment, dear friends, you are about to receive
on John Barleycorn, nicotine, and the temptations of Eve"

DrGuile · 08-18-2005

Nickatilynx · 08-18-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by DrGuile

BLASPHEMER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PornoDoggy · 08-18-2005

I gotta go to bingo on Monday to see proof?

DrGuile · 08-18-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by PornoDoggy

I gotta go to bingo on Monday to see proof?

I guess punctuation is blasphemy too

Nickatilynx · 08-18-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by DrGuile

I guess punctuation is blasphemy too

Shouldn't you be on Vacation?

DrGuile · 08-18-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nickatilynx

Shouldn't you be on Vacation?

I most definitely should be...

Shouldnt you be in whistler with hookers and clowns?

SykkBoy · 08-18-2005

I would almost bang Dr. Laura, almost...but I'd make her shout out various Bible verses while I was plowing her...

blasphemy makes me horny...

MorganGrayson · 08-18-2005

Oy. Meshugenah.

Vick · 08-18-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by SykkBoy

I would almost bang Dr. Laura, almost...but I'd make her shout out various Bible verses while I was plowing her...

blasphemy makes me horny...

Jesus Fucking Christ

MorganGrayson · 08-18-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vick

Jesus Fucking Christ

OK...what I'm inferring from this is that Vick wants to make Sykkboy horny.

Bang on, boys.

SykkBoy · 08-18-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by MorganGrayson

OK...what I'm inferring from this is that Vick wants to make Sykkboy horny.

Bang on, boys.

I'm thinking almost amongst those same lines....

PornoDoggy · 08-18-2005

Jesus is just all right with me.

Dravyk · 08-18-2005

Your own personal jesus
Someone to hear your prayers
Someone who cares
Your own personal jesus
Someone to hear your prayers
Someone who’s there

Feeling unknown
And you’re all alone
Flesh and bone
By the telephone
Lift up the receiver
I’ll make you a believer

Take second best
Put me to the test
Things on your chest
You need to confess
I will deliver
You know I’m a forgiver

Reach out and touch faith
Reach out and touch faith

Newton · 08-18-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dravyk

Your own personal jesus
Someone to hear your prayers
Someone who cares
Your own personal jesus
Someone to hear your prayers
Someone who’s there

Feeling unknown
And you’re all alone
Flesh and bone
By the telephone
Lift up the receiver
I’ll make you a believer

Take second best
Put me to the test
Things on your chest
You need to confess
I will deliver
You know I’m a forgiver

Reach out and touch faith
Reach out and touch faith

Nick likes the remix of Depeche

Red · 08-18-2005

Jesus is easy, just get down on your knees
he's gonna listen to your every prayer.
Jesus is easy, just get down on your knees, he's everywhere.
Jesus Christ, he's everywhere.

I tried yoga, I couldn't do it.
Tried macrobiotics, couldn't chew it, I blew it.
Scientology, it made a fool of me
so I'm back to thinking things that I thought when I was 3.

Jesus is easy, just get down on your knees
he's gonna listen to your every prayer.
Jesus is easy, just get down on your knees, he's everywhere.
Jesus Christ, he's everywhere.

I tried women, oh how I tried,
I took little boys in leather suits outside and had them tied.
I tried a poodle, a collie, Kukla, Fran and Ollie,
but Mary in a manger got me satisfied.

Jesus is easy, just get down on your knees
he's gonna listen to your every prayer.
Jesus is easy, just get down on your knees, he's everywhere.
Jesus Christ, he's everywhere.

Bhelliom · 08-18-2005

Well brunettes are fine man
And blondes are fun
But when it comes to getting the dirty job done

I'll take a red headed woman
A red headed woman
It takes a read headed woman
To get a dirty job done

Well listen up stud
Your life's been wasted
Til you've got down on your knees and tasted

A red headed woman
A red headed woman
It takes a read headed woman
To get a dirty job done

Tight skirt, strawberry hair
Tell me what you've got baby, waiting under there
Big green eyes that look like, son
They can see every cheap thing that you ever done

Well I don't care how many girls you've dated, man
But you ain't lived till you've had your tires rotated

By a red headed woman
A red headed woman
It takes a read headed woman
To get a dirty job done

Trev · 08-18-2005

Oh god!! Everyone is posting lyrics now

Bhelliom · 08-18-2005

oh I thought this was the song lyric thread

Dravyk · 08-18-2005

Wow ... no George Harrison yet.

08-18-2005	#1
Winetalk.com Prostate Examiner I quoff fine wine at corkd.com Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: good 'ole USA Posts: 21,018	Dear Dr. Laura, Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind him that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the specific laws and how to best follow them. a) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them? b) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her? c) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense. d) Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians? e) I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself? f) A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an Abomination (Lev 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? g) Lev 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here? h) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev 19:27. How should they die? i) I know from Lev 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves? j) My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Lev 24:10-16) Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14) I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging. Your devoted disciple and adoring fan. __________________ why dogs sniff each other butts?

08-18-2005	#2
spazlabz Payserve SUX Join Date: May 2003 Posts: 1,988	Re: Dear Dr. Laura, This is the best way I have seen to point out the rediculous arguments made by the extreme right in this couontry. Thanks Serge, made me laugh out loud spaz __________________ Kenny's Pennies awesome fetish content that actually sells!

08-18-2005	#9
EroticySteve Members Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Sunshine State Posts: 299	Re: Dear Dr. Laura, I hope that in our lifetime we do come face to face with intelligent life from another planet. I would like to see how another civilization lives and evolves. I'm sure there would be lessons learned and it would be interesting to see if a more advanced culture has the same issues and problems that we do in regard to religion. __________________ ICQ 290153464 Earn up to $101 per sale. Guaranteed highest payout. Free Integrated Personals Convert your traffic better. Work with the best Eroticy.com

08-18-2005	#10
PornoDoggy Cramming 3 people in a Room to Attend Show Want to see your own Advertising Here! Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Amid the Cornfields of Illinois Posts: 5,366	Re: Dear Dr. Laura, "A preachment, dear friends, you are about to receive on John Barleycorn, nicotine, and the temptations of Eve" __________________ SEX STORY TEXT Exotic Material for Adult Websites Available for part time (project or ongoing) work ...

08-18-2005	#11
DrGuile french with welsh tendancies Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 2,007	Re: Dear Dr. Laura, __________________ LiveBucks / Privatefeeds - Giving you money since 1999 Up to 40% Commission! 25% Webmaster Referal

08-18-2005	#13
PornoDoggy Cramming 3 people in a Room to Attend Show Want to see your own Advertising Here! Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Amid the Cornfields of Illinois Posts: 5,366	Re: Dear Dr. Laura, I gotta go to bingo on Monday to see proof? __________________ SEX STORY TEXT Exotic Material for Adult Websites Available for part time (project or ongoing) work ...

08-18-2005	#17
SykkBoy Polishing the Chrome on Bishops Motorcycle $100 for every ImLive sign-up Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Hell: Bowels : Level 9 Posts: 4,153	Re: Dear Dr. Laura, I would almost bang Dr. Laura, almost...but I'd make her shout out various Bible verses while I was plowing her... blasphemy makes me horny... __________________ ADULT PAYMASTER - All Site Access - Paying $70 October 5th! "Love your enemies...just in case your friends turn out to be bastards." - unknown

08-18-2005	#18
MorganGrayson None $100 for every ImLive sign-up Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 4,321	Re: Dear Dr. Laura, Oy. Meshugenah.

08-18-2005	#22
PornoDoggy Cramming 3 people in a Room to Attend Show Want to see your own Advertising Here! Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Amid the Cornfields of Illinois Posts: 5,366	Re: Dear Dr. Laura, Jesus is just all right with me. __________________ SEX STORY TEXT Exotic Material for Adult Websites Available for part time (project or ongoing) work ...

08-18-2005	#23
Dravyk Easy Like Sunday Morning Want to see your own Advertising Here! Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Behind a couch, somewhere in Philly Posts: 7,628	Re: Dear Dr. Laura, Your own personal jesus Someone to hear your prayers Someone who cares Your own personal jesus Someone to hear your prayers Someone who’s there Feeling unknown And you’re all alone Flesh and bone By the telephone Lift up the receiver I’ll make you a believer Take second best Put me to the test Things on your chest You need to confess I will deliver You know I’m a forgiver Reach out and touch faith Reach out and touch faith __________________ All Of 'Em Mainstream Webmasters New: WebmasterConventions.com

08-18-2005	#25
Red Dreaming of a Cowboy Hat like Max Hardcore Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 1,812	Re: Dear Dr. Laura, Jesus is easy, just get down on your knees he's gonna listen to your every prayer. Jesus is easy, just get down on your knees, he's everywhere. Jesus Christ, he's everywhere. I tried yoga, I couldn't do it. Tried macrobiotics, couldn't chew it, I blew it. Scientology, it made a fool of me so I'm back to thinking things that I thought when I was 3. Jesus is easy, just get down on your knees he's gonna listen to your every prayer. Jesus is easy, just get down on your knees, he's everywhere. Jesus Christ, he's everywhere. I tried women, oh how I tried, I took little boys in leather suits outside and had them tied. I tried a poodle, a collie, Kukla, Fran and Ollie, but Mary in a manger got me satisfied. Jesus is easy, just get down on your knees he's gonna listen to your every prayer. Jesus is easy, just get down on your knees, he's everywhere. Jesus Christ, he's everywhere. __________________

08-18-2005	#26
Bhelliom Will fuck for beer Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Toronto Posts: 1,143	Re: Dear Dr. Laura, Well brunettes are fine man And blondes are fun But when it comes to getting the dirty job done I'll take a red headed woman A red headed woman It takes a read headed woman To get a dirty job done Well listen up stud Your life's been wasted Til you've got down on your knees and tasted A red headed woman A red headed woman It takes a read headed woman To get a dirty job done Tight skirt, strawberry hair Tell me what you've got baby, waiting under there Big green eyes that look like, son They can see every cheap thing that you ever done Well I don't care how many girls you've dated, man But you ain't lived till you've had your tires rotated By a red headed woman A red headed woman It takes a read headed woman To get a dirty job done __________________ I am a Sado-Machiavellian. As long as I cum in the end... It doesn't matter what I did to get there. :yowsa: I just made that term up.... pretty good eh?

08-18-2005	#27
Trev Cunty Want to see your own Advertising Here! Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 10,150	Re: Dear Dr. Laura, Oh god!! Everyone is posting lyrics now __________________ Sucks to be you.

08-18-2005	#28
Bhelliom Will fuck for beer Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Toronto Posts: 1,143	Re: Dear Dr. Laura, oh I thought this was the song lyric thread __________________ I am a Sado-Machiavellian. As long as I cum in the end... It doesn't matter what I did to get there. :yowsa: I just made that term up.... pretty good eh?

08-18-2005	#29
Dravyk Easy Like Sunday Morning Want to see your own Advertising Here! Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Behind a couch, somewhere in Philly Posts: 7,628	Re: Dear Dr. Laura, Wow ... no George Harrison yet. __________________ All Of 'Em Mainstream Webmasters New: WebmasterConventions.com