Are We Mistreating Terrorists?

ulfie · 11-01-2002

A person wrote a letter to the White House complaining about the
treatment of a captive taken during the Afghanistan war. Attached is a copy of a letter they received back:

The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, D.C.

Dear Concerned Citizen:

Thank you for your recent letter roundly criticizing our treatment of
the Taliban and Al Qaeda detainees currently being held at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. My administration takes these matters seriously, and your opinion was heard loud and clear here in Washington.

You'll be pleased to learn that, thanks to the concerns of citizens like you, we are creating a new division of the Terrorist Retraining Program, to be called the "Liberals accept Responsibility for Killers" program, or LARK for short.

In accordance with the guidelines of this new program, we have decided to place one terrorist under your personal care. Your personal detainee has been selected and scheduled for transportation under heavily armed guard to your residence next Monday. Ali Mohammed Ahmed bin Mahmud (you can just call him Ahmed) is to be cared for pursuant to the standards
you personally demanded in your letter of admonishment.

It will likely be necessary for you to hire some assistant caretakers. We will conduct weekly inspections to ensure that your standards of care for Ahmed are commensurate with those you so strongly recommended in your letter.

Ahmed's meal requirements are simple, but we strongly suggest serving meals that do not require utensils, particularly knives and forks. Also, these should be "one-handed" foods; Ahmed will not eat with his left hand since he uses it to wipe himself after purging his bowels (which he will do in your yard) - but look on the bright side.. no increase in the toilet paper bill.

He generally bathes quarterly with the change of seasons, assuming that it rains, and he washes his clothes simultaneously. This should help with your water bill. Also, your new friend has a really bad case of body lice that hasn't been completely remedied.

Please heed the large orange notice attached to your detainee's cage: "Does not play well with others." Although Ahmed is sociopathic and extremely violent, we hope that your sensitivity to what you described as his "attitudinal problem" will help him overcome these character flaws. Perhaps you are correct in describing these problems as mere cultural differences.

He will bite you, given the chance, but his rabies test came back
negative so not to worry.

We understand that you plan to offer counseling and home schooling. Your adopted terrorist is extremely proficient in hand-to-hand combat and can extinguish human life with such simple items as a pencil or nail clippers. We do not suggest that you ask him to demonstrate these skills at your next yoga group.

He is also expert at making a wide variety of explosive devices from common household products, so you may wish to keep those items locked up, unless (in your opinion) this might offend him.

Ahmed will not wish to interact with your wife or daughters (except sexually) since he views females as a subhuman form of property. However, he will be eager to assist with the education of your sons; have available for their use several copies of the Q'uran.

Oh - and rest assured he absolutely loves animals, especially cats and dogs. He prefers them roasted, but raw is fine, too, if they aren't more than 2 or 3 days dead.

Thanks again for your letter. We truly appreciate it when folks like
you, who know so much, keep us informed of the proper way to do our job. We think this watching over each other's shoulder is such a good way for people to interact that we will be sending a team of federal officials with expertise in your line of work to your place of business soon, just to help you do your job better.

Don't be concerned that they have the power to close your business, seize your property, and arrest you for any violation of the 4,850,206 laws, codes, regulations and rules that apply to your profession. They're really there just to make sure you're doing everything the proper way. That is what you wanted, right?

Well, thank you for this opportunity to interact with such a valued
member of the citizenry. You take good care of Ahmed - and
remember...we'll be watching.

Cordially...
Your Buddy,
Dubbya

Mike AI · 11-01-2002

Good find Ulfie.

Personally I am getting fed up with war on terrorism. I want to see more bombings, I want to see dead terrorsts lying all over a battlefield... I want them to be shitting themselves when some delta force slits their throats!

:angry:

voodooman · 11-01-2002

MikeAI,
I agree with you, this war has become politial, well, like anything
jackasses do in Washington isnt, but, what happend to bin Laden?
I personally havent heard shit about him in months.
I want to see dead terrorists along with Mike.
I heard on the radio today that the prisoners in Guantanamo Bay
had to give up their turbans, and this person calling in was upset
that we took them away.
These fuckers are in prison.

MikeW · 11-01-2002

LOL, that was great ;-))) It's amazing that some people actually do feel that our govt./military mistreats these people while they are being held captive... I mean fuck me, they have better living conditions as prisoners of war than they did in their own country.. LOL. If it were up to me everyone of them would have been strung up by their insides by now ..

Last edited by MikeW at Nov 2 2002, 12:11 AM

11-02-2002

of course we are mistreating terrorists! they want to be martyrs and we did not kill them all yet.

11-01-2002	#1
ulfie Members Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 1,143	A person wrote a letter to the White House complaining about the treatment of a captive taken during the Afghanistan war. Attached is a copy of a letter they received back: The White House 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue Washington, D.C. Dear Concerned Citizen: Thank you for your recent letter roundly criticizing our treatment of the Taliban and Al Qaeda detainees currently being held at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. My administration takes these matters seriously, and your opinion was heard loud and clear here in Washington. You'll be pleased to learn that, thanks to the concerns of citizens like you, we are creating a new division of the Terrorist Retraining Program, to be called the "Liberals accept Responsibility for Killers" program, or LARK for short. In accordance with the guidelines of this new program, we have decided to place one terrorist under your personal care. Your personal detainee has been selected and scheduled for transportation under heavily armed guard to your residence next Monday. Ali Mohammed Ahmed bin Mahmud (you can just call him Ahmed) is to be cared for pursuant to the standards you personally demanded in your letter of admonishment. It will likely be necessary for you to hire some assistant caretakers. We will conduct weekly inspections to ensure that your standards of care for Ahmed are commensurate with those you so strongly recommended in your letter. Ahmed's meal requirements are simple, but we strongly suggest serving meals that do not require utensils, particularly knives and forks. Also, these should be "one-handed" foods; Ahmed will not eat with his left hand since he uses it to wipe himself after purging his bowels (which he will do in your yard) - but look on the bright side.. no increase in the toilet paper bill. He generally bathes quarterly with the change of seasons, assuming that it rains, and he washes his clothes simultaneously. This should help with your water bill. Also, your new friend has a really bad case of body lice that hasn't been completely remedied. Please heed the large orange notice attached to your detainee's cage: "Does not play well with others." Although Ahmed is sociopathic and extremely violent, we hope that your sensitivity to what you described as his "attitudinal problem" will help him overcome these character flaws. Perhaps you are correct in describing these problems as mere cultural differences. He will bite you, given the chance, but his rabies test came back negative so not to worry. We understand that you plan to offer counseling and home schooling. Your adopted terrorist is extremely proficient in hand-to-hand combat and can extinguish human life with such simple items as a pencil or nail clippers. We do not suggest that you ask him to demonstrate these skills at your next yoga group. He is also expert at making a wide variety of explosive devices from common household products, so you may wish to keep those items locked up, unless (in your opinion) this might offend him. Ahmed will not wish to interact with your wife or daughters (except sexually) since he views females as a subhuman form of property. However, he will be eager to assist with the education of your sons; have available for their use several copies of the Q'uran. Oh - and rest assured he absolutely loves animals, especially cats and dogs. He prefers them roasted, but raw is fine, too, if they aren't more than 2 or 3 days dead. Thanks again for your letter. We truly appreciate it when folks like you, who know so much, keep us informed of the proper way to do our job. We think this watching over each other's shoulder is such a good way for people to interact that we will be sending a team of federal officials with expertise in your line of work to your place of business soon, just to help you do your job better. Don't be concerned that they have the power to close your business, seize your property, and arrest you for any violation of the 4,850,206 laws, codes, regulations and rules that apply to your profession. They're really there just to make sure you're doing everything the proper way. That is what you wanted, right? Well, thank you for this opportunity to interact with such a valued member of the citizenry. You take good care of Ahmed - and remember...we'll be watching. Cordially... Your Buddy, Dubbya __________________

11-01-2002	#2
Mike AI Administrator Want to see your own Advertising Here! Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 11,618	Good find Ulfie. Personally I am getting fed up with war on terrorism. I want to see more bombings, I want to see dead terrorsts lying all over a battlefield... I want them to be shitting themselves when some delta force slits their throats! :angry: __________________ Make big money on your Domains! Why wait 40 days to get paid with the other guys? Parked.com pays the most for your traffic, and cuts checks twice a month!

11-01-2002	#4
MikeW Members Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Dick Joke Island Posts: 835	LOL, that was great ;-))) It's amazing that some people actually do feel that our govt./military mistreats these people while they are being held captive... I mean fuck me, they have better living conditions as prisoners of war than they did in their own country.. LOL. If it were up to me everyone of them would have been strung up by their insides by now .. Last edited by MikeW at Nov 2 2002, 12:11 AM __________________ ********************* » Owner/Designer - Wyldesites, Inc. » Industry Leading Adult Graphic Design Since 1998 » Visit me at: http://www.wyldesites.com » ICQ# 18188566**

11-01-2002	#3
voodooman Members Respin bullshit press Your Comments Are Welcomed Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 2,695	MikeAI, I agree with you, this war has become politial, well, like anything jackasses do in Washington isnt, but, what happend to bin Laden? I personally havent heard shit about him in months. I want to see dead terrorists along with Mike. I heard on the radio today that the prisoners in Guantanamo Bay had to give up their turbans, and this person calling in was upset that we took them away. These fuckers are in prison.

11-02-2002	#5
-= JR =- Guest Posts: n/a	of course we are mistreating terrorists! they want to be martyrs and we did not kill them all yet.