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Old 05-02-2005   #1
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Dear Dr. Phil,

I've ben with this girl for a couple months now, although i'm very much in love, I cannot get over the fact that she has a hard time saying 'no' to people who offer her some shit.

I told her she should be candid with me about these things but she isn't, I know that because I can see when she used that stuff as I have been surrounded by users for the past 20 years. As somebody who has never ever used it, should I just enjoy the ride and see where it ends, or keep my eyes open for other girls who don't have a habit I know nothing about? Needless to say I have been pointing out to her that it isn't all that goiod for her, as she doesn't know the difference between taking one little bit, or a couple gram. It's like me drinking, when I take one beer, I will most likely have a couple more. Beer ain't coke though.

I feel like a whino, but yet cannot seem to get over it. Especially since she has a way to get surrounded by idiots who give her shit all the time, most likely to get into her pants, which - unfortunately for them - fails endlessly.
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Old 05-02-2005   #2
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Both people doing coke....bearable.
One person on coke...hell.

Either she quits or you start , otherwise its over.
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Old 05-02-2005   #3
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Quote:
Originally posted by Nickatilynx@May 2 2005, 08:03 AM
Both people doing coke....bearable.
One person on coke...hell.

Either she quits or you start , otherwise its over.
Couldn't of said it better myself...

Even when you are both doing it, still leads to problems... "You took the last line bitch?" That sort of fun stuff...

My best recomendation is don't get involved in it or with someone who is seriously involved in it.. Ask Nick, and I know first handed as well.. It is very easy to go from a line in the middle of the day to pep you up to a 5 + gram a day habit.

Things get REAL UGLY then... Atleast they did for me ..
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Old 05-02-2005   #4
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Nude pics would help with such a decision.
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Old 05-02-2005   #5
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Originally posted by Almighty Colin@May 2 2005, 08:05 AM
Nude pics would help with such a decision.
That wouldn't be fair. She's lovely and you'd all say to stick with it :P



@ RyanLanane: There have been times that she skipped appointments with me to pull allnighters, where I learned later she was doing exactly those insane amounts with a coupel idiots. Fun thing is that I 'know' these idiots for about 15 years, and she's only 23, lol. Weird that those chanceless, no job having motherf'ers try to drag her down the gutter with them. Gotta love citylife.
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Old 05-02-2005   #6
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Old 05-02-2005   #7
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Old 05-02-2005   #8
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I had a girlfriend who could not put the bottle down. After a year of babysitting all her hang-overs, :angry: it ended. That shit got old. She was a good woman. She had issues she did not want to address. I went to her family for help, and they figured it was my problem. We broke up and I sent her home to her mama.

The bottom line, she was holding me back.
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Old 05-02-2005   #9
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You can treat the symptoms with meds.

But to find the cause takes therapy.
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Old 05-02-2005   #10
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Originally posted by Nickatilynx@May 2 2005, 08:14 AM
ummm if she is doing allnighters on coke away from you , someone else is fucking her

Sorry...but true.
hahah, i know that is not true, as she is with her nephew as well.

I know I sound like an ignorant guy here, but I am certain that is not the case, seriously. She's no slut, never has been.

However .... if everybody thinks that is true I'm open to MAYBE not believing her any longer when it comes to this issue.
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Old 05-02-2005   #11
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Colin, maybe I am out of line here and if so, i apologize, but: Wasn't there something similar with you and amanda? I recall you telling here you knew she was bad news back then.
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Old 05-02-2005   #12
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Old 05-02-2005   #13
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Originally posted by Nickatilynx@May 2 2005, 08:33 AM
Trust me , ALL us old party animals as a collective went "Oh , Oh "
Thanks, fuckers!
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Old 05-02-2005   #14
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Old 05-02-2005   #15
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Old 05-02-2005   #16
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Old 05-02-2005   #17
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Did I tell you this thread makes me real happy yet?

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Old 05-02-2005   #18
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Did I tell you this thread makes me real happy yet?
Sorry dude...
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Old 05-02-2005   #19
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If anything, this thread has renewed my commitment to myself to be clean and sober.

Now if I can just wean myself off this new habit of getting every hair on my body waxed off. That one is tough.
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Old 05-02-2005   #20
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Originally posted by Naughty@May 2 2005, 11:28 AM
Colin, maybe I am out of line here and if so, i apologize, but: Wasn't there something similar with you and amanda? I recall you telling here you knew she was bad news back then.
Yes, she has been clean for 10 months. "One day at a time".
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Old 05-02-2005   #21
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Yes, she has been clean for 10 months. "One day at a time".
That's good!
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Old 05-02-2005   #22
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Old 05-02-2005   #23
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Addicts are always addicted to something.

Be it their drug of choice, adrenaline, work, sex, violence, etc.

Her problem isn't yours, but you're enabling her by not giving her behavior consequences that would be negative to her.

If you love her, truly, go to narcanon (similar to alanon) and find out how to "detach with love"

If she's just a nice piece of ass, go find a new one.
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Old 05-02-2005   #24
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Addicts are always addicted to something.
This is the R_n's honest truth!
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Old 05-02-2005   #25
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Old 05-02-2005   #26
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I am the biggest addict on this board... Just need to make sure I STAY addicted to WORK this time around... 3 mouths to feed, although I could deal without the old lady
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Old 05-02-2005   #27
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Old 05-02-2005   #28
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Quote:
Originally posted by Nickatilynx@May 2 2005, 08:03 AM
Both people doing coke....bearable.
One person on coke...hell.

Either she quits or you start , otherwise its over.
and thats the double truth, ruth.
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Old 05-02-2005   #29
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Quote:
Originally posted by RyanLanane@May 2 2005, 11:36 AM
I am the biggest addict on this board... Just need to make sure I STAY addicted to WORK this time around... 3 mouths to feed, although I could deal without the old lady
Those are some pretty big boasts.

I'm sure there are some here that can give you a run for your money.
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Old 05-02-2005   #30
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Old 05-02-2005   #31
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Old 05-02-2005   #32
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Old 05-02-2005   #33
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I have 100 bucks that says this is going to become the saddest swinging dick thread ever
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Old 05-02-2005   #34
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Originally posted by RyanLanane+May 2 2005, 12:09 PM-->
QUOTE (RyanLanane @ May 2 2005, 12:09 PM)
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Originally posted by Anthony@May 2 2005, 11:50 AM
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Old 05-02-2005   #35
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Definate pearl thread
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Old 05-02-2005   #36
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you need just the right mix, don't you, lol.
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Old 05-02-2005   #37
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It could be a classic LOL
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Old 05-02-2005   #38
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Old 05-02-2005   #39
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I have 100 bucks that says this is going to become the saddest swinging dick thread ever
If it keeps going, I'll make sure it becomes the most gruesomely saddest thread eva!
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Old 05-02-2005   #40
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Old 05-02-2005   #41
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Knew I should have kicked that Old Coke habit up to 1/2 ounce a day - My heart could of taken it for a couple more weeks in those quantities at least. All i had on 5 g a day was heart palpatations... LOL

Than I would have had some bragging rights... Hindsight is 20/20 though 'eh? Although from the stories I heard, wouldn't of outdone some people here - LOL ...
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Old 05-02-2005   #42
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Originally posted by RyanLanane@May 2 2005, 12:25 PM
Knew I should have kicked that Old Coke habit up to 1/2 ounce a day - My heart could of taken it for a couple more weeks in those quantities at least. All i had on 5 g a day was heart palpatations... LOL

Than I would have had some bragging rights... Hindsight is 20/20 though 'eh? Although from the stories I heard, wouldn't of outdone some people here - LOL ...
5 grams a day.

You must have had some shitty yeyo brah.

What's important is that you are back and in the game.
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Old 05-02-2005   #43
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Far from, probably why my life fell apart...

I think I have learned more and dealt with more shit than alot of people 40 years or older and I am just turning 27 in June. For once, it feels like the pieces are starting to fall back into place though... Just need to get back to making the bank I was when I was 20
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Old 05-02-2005   #44
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Old 05-02-2005   #48
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Naughty - free advice is usually worth every cent you pay for it but

I'd say walk away while you can
The only one who can help her is herself and she has to hit bottom first (in her own eyes) before she can start getting somewhat sober

If she can't say no now, what's going to happen at the end of a 24 hour binge when there is no more left? What would she'd do then for the next one?

Not saying she's a bad person, just someone with a problem that only they can fix and only when they finally want to

It's destructive for her now, don't want to see that pain/agony passed along to you as well

And truthfully without naming names there are a few posting to Oprano who have some experience in these type matters

It sucks and you have my sympathies but if I can be so bold as to suggest you don't become or go any further being an enabler
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Old 05-02-2005   #49
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Ditch the chick AND the "idiots".
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Old 05-02-2005   #50
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It will end in tears.

Get out now while you can.
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