are you happy with your employees?

[Winetalk.com]

These are ACTUAL supervisor quotes taken from employee performance
evaluations:

1. "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom
and has started to dig."

2. "I would not allow this employee to breed."

3. "This employee is really not much of a has-been, but more of a
definite won't be."
4. "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a
rat in a trap."

5. "When she opens her mouth, it seems it is only to change feet."

6. "He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle."

7. "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."

8. "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to
achieve them."

9. "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."

10. "This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better."

11. "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all
together."

12. "A gross ignoramus --- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus."

13. "He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier."

14. "I would like to go hunting with him sometime."

15. "He's been working with glue too much."

16. "He would argue with a signpost."

17. "He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room."

18. "When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell."

19. "If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other
one."

20. "A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on."

21. "A prime candidate for natural DE-selection."

22. "Donated his brain to science before he was done using it."

23. "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't
coming."

24. "He's got two brains, one is lost and the other is out looking for
it."

25. "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week."

26. "If you gave him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change."

27. "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean."

28. It's hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm."

29. "One neuron short of a synapse."

30. "Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled."

31. "Takes him 2 hours to watch 60 minutes."

32. "The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead."

[iFliPcEsS]

i know my employer is happy with my performance "so far" lol

[$tanDaMan]

hahahahahha this is good

makes me think of a few people

good thing, we don't keep those at envisionext

[Mike AI]

We have all been around these types.

[pushpills]

and it's no surprise that these people work for someone.

[Rolo]

> 28. It's hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm."

So true, about alot of people

Life is too expensive to have ineffective workers around - got rid of a few last year, and we got higher productivity since then

[CuriousToyBoy]

He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to
achieve them.

Hey! I resemble that remark.

Luckily for me I write my own performance reports.

[Almighty Colin]

We have awesome employees. I'm really happy with them. It's really important to have a good selection process - especially for tech people. It's difficult to find good people and we have really had to work at it over the years. Many improvements from many mistakes. And that is life, eh? ;-)

[chodadog]

Nice list. :P