you thought the shit you stepped into was bad?

Winetalk.com · 06-17-2003

Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He
performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he
sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2 on FM dial in
Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest.
Needless to say, she won.

Hi Sue,

Just another note from your bottom dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad
day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I
thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so
bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore
you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the
bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit. This time
of year the water is quite cool.

So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial
water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the
sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the
diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds
like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints.

What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and
stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm
water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was going well until all
of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it.

This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I
pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I
realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish
and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the
jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as
fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually
grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt. I informed the dive
supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were
unclear due to the fact that he along with five other divers were all
laughing hysterically.

Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing
in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could
reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at
the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of
the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed
me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the
chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days
because my butt was swollen shut.

So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it
would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.

Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job"

Timon · 06-17-2003

HAHAHA what an idiot, you'd think that if he's doing this for a living and professional enough to dive with an underwater communication system he'd at least invest some money in a proper dry suit...

DamageX · 06-18-2003

Hehe, good one. I still think either the chick made that up to win the contest, or her brother made it up to make her feel better, 'cause I really don't see how any person with half a brain with disclose such embarassing information about himself.

Winetalk.com · 06-18-2003

Quote:

Originally posted by DamageX@Jun 18 2003, 04:01 AM
Hehe, good one. I still think either the chick made that up to win the contest, or her brother made it up to make her feel better, 'cause I really don't see how any person with half a brain with disclose such embarassing information about himself.

hmmm....c'mon, he is not a priest from Phoenix, he is just honest
;-))))

sarettah · 06-18-2003

My new favorite saying:

"Whats the matter with you, you got a jellyfish shoved up your ass or something?"

DamageX · 06-18-2003

Quote:

« Previous Thread | Next Thread »

Originally posted by Serge_Oprano+Jun 18 2003, 03:04 AM-->
QUOTE (Serge_Oprano @ Jun 18 2003, 03:04 AM)

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06-17-2003	#1
Winetalk.com Prostate Examiner I quoff fine wine at corkd.com Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: good 'ole USA Posts: 21,018	Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won. Hi Sue, Just another note from your bottom dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he along with five other divers were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut. So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt. Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job" __________________ why dogs sniff each other butts?

06-18-2003	#5
sarettah Stay Out Of The Box Want to see your own Advertising Here! Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Lost in the ozone Posts: 10,318	My new favorite saying: "Whats the matter with you, you got a jellyfish shoved up your ass or something?" __________________ Free Adult Webcams

06-17-2003	#2
Timon Hospitality Supervisor Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 2,338	HAHAHA what an idiot, you'd think that if he's doing this for a living and professional enough to dive with an underwater communication system he'd at least invest some money in a proper dry suit...

06-18-2003	#3
DamageX Members Join Date: Jun 2003 Posts: 29	Hehe, good one. I still think either the chick made that up to win the contest, or her brother made it up to make her feel better, 'cause I really don't see how any person with half a brain with disclose such embarassing information about himself.