The Elements Of Men And Women

cj · 11-14-2002

This was just sent to me
7 & 9 are funny ;-)

The Good Housekeeping Way #1
Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice
cream drips.

The Real Women's Way
Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for God's sake. You
are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it anyway.

===============================

The Good Housekeeping Way #2
To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the
potatoes.

The Real Women's Way
Buy Smash mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year.

================================

The Good Housekeeping Way #3
When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking tin, use a bit of the dry
cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the
cake.

The Real Women's Way
The Cheese Cake Shop sells cakes. They even do decorated versions.

==================================

The Good Housekeeping Way #4
If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a
potato slice.

The Real Women's Way
If you over-salt a dish while you are cooking, that's tough shit. Please
recite with me the Real Women's motto: "I made it and you will eat it and
I don't care how bad it tastes."

===============================

The Good Housekeeping Way #5
Wrap celery in aluminium foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will
keep for weeks.

The Real Women's Way
I don't care if it could keep forever, I don't eat it!

===============================

The Good Housekeeping Way #6
Brush some beaten egg white over piecrust before baking to yield beautiful
glossy finish.

The Real Women's Way
Sara Lee frozen pie directions do not include brushing any egg whites over
the crust so I don't do that either.

================================

The Good Housekeeping Way #7
Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your
forehead. The throbbing will go away.

The Real Women's Way
Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and drop it in 2 ounces of
tequila. Drink the Tequila. You might still have the headache, but at least
you will be too drunk to give a shit.

===============================

The Good Housekeeping Way #8
If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing
gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.

The Real Women's Way
Go ask mister tight arse cute legs, single neighbour to do it
for you.

================================

The Good Housekeeping Way #9
Freeze leftover wine into ice cubes for future use in
casseroles and sauces.

The Real Women's Way
Leftover wine????? What leftover wine???????

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11-14-2002	#1
cj Members Want to see your own Advertising Here! Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Down Under Posts: 5,202	This was just sent to me 7 & 9 are funny ;-) The Good Housekeeping Way #1 Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips. The Real Women's Way Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for God's sake. You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it anyway. =============================== The Good Housekeeping Way #2 To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes. The Real Women's Way Buy Smash mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year. ================================ The Good Housekeeping Way #3 When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking tin, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake. The Real Women's Way The Cheese Cake Shop sells cakes. They even do decorated versions. ================================== The Good Housekeeping Way #4 If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a potato slice. The Real Women's Way If you over-salt a dish while you are cooking, that's tough shit. Please recite with me the Real Women's motto: "I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes." =============================== The Good Housekeeping Way #5 Wrap celery in aluminium foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks. The Real Women's Way I don't care if it could keep forever, I don't eat it! =============================== The Good Housekeeping Way #6 Brush some beaten egg white over piecrust before baking to yield beautiful glossy finish. The Real Women's Way Sara Lee frozen pie directions do not include brushing any egg whites over the crust so I don't do that either. ================================ The Good Housekeeping Way #7 Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away. The Real Women's Way Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and drop it in 2 ounces of tequila. Drink the Tequila. You might still have the headache, but at least you will be too drunk to give a shit. =============================== The Good Housekeeping Way #8 If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy. The Real Women's Way Go ask mister tight arse cute legs, single neighbour to do it for you. ================================ The Good Housekeeping Way #9 Freeze leftover wine into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces. The Real Women's Way Leftover wine????? What leftover wine???????