Alexander the Great

[JR]

I watched it last night. My opinion was that it sucked. He was one of the greatest military strategists in the history of the world, who never lost a battle... but the movie was not even about that at all. I wanted to see how he did it. I expected to see how this young guy rallied the army of a kingdom behind him and led them to victory time and time again and conquered most of the civilized world... I expected to see how he outwitted every army that got in his way with his tactics and bold strategies. I expected to see epic battles fought by an army that never lost a battle even when they were outnumbered 2 to 1 or more.

....Instead, I got to watch 2 1/2 hours of a bunch of skirt wearing queers with swords who could not stop making out with each other for more than 5 minutes at a time. When they did finally stop kissing each other, they just talked about how they could not wait to start making out and fuck each other again.

That movie is a bad joke. Oliver Stone should stick to anti-american propaganda, thats where he always shines and does his best work.


Sample movie dialog before one of the greatest battles in the history of civilization:

Alexander to generals: We can do it.
Generals: No we can't.
Alexander: Yes we can.
Generals: Are you sure.
Alexander: Uhm. Yeah. Pretty sure... but right now I have a boner, I will be right back.

Alexander walks outside...

Alexander to first soldier he sees: Thou sure hast a purty mouth. (while slowly and sensually raking his index finger across the soldiers cheek)

Soldier: Sir, you make my knees tremble with your slightest touch. Your eyes peirce my soul with their beauty, your skin is as white and perfect as mothers breast milk and i noticed you have quite the package under that dress.

Alexander: Perhaps you might enjoy my tongue in your ass before we fight tomorrow?

Camera then zooms in on soldiers face to show only a look of complete ecxtasy as Alexander drops to his knees.