Dear Dr. Laura,

[Winetalk.com]

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind him that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the specific laws and how to best follow them.

a) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

b) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

c) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

d) Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

e) I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

f) A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an Abomination (Lev 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

g) Lev 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

h) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev 19:27. How should they die?

i) I know from Lev 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

j) My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Lev 24:10-16) Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help.

Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your devoted disciple and adoring fan.

[spazlabz]

This is the best way I have seen to point out the rediculous arguments made by the extreme right in this couontry. Thanks Serge, made me laugh out loud



spaz

[EroticySteve]

I hope that in our lifetime we do come face to face with intelligent life from another planet. I would like to see how another civilization lives and evolves. I'm sure there would be lessons learned and it would be interesting to see if a more advanced culture has the same issues and problems that we do in regard to religion.

[Nickatilynx]

Originally Posted by spazlabz

This is the best way I have seen to point out the rediculous arguments made by the extreme right in this couontry. Thanks Serge, made me laugh out loud



spaz

My Son ,

That is old Testamnet , not New Testament , and we of the religious right follow the teachings of christ.

Together , in Christ

Rev. Nick

[spazlabz]

Originally Posted by Nickatilynx

My Son ,

That is old Testamnet , not New Testament , and we of the religious right follow the teachings of christ.

Together , in Christ

Rev. Nick

dude I so almost took you seriously for a minute!

spaz

[gonzo]

Originally Posted by spazlabz

dude I so almost took you seriously for a minute!

spaz

He is serious!!

[Nickatilynx]

Originally Posted by spazlabz

dude I so almost took you seriously for a minute!

spaz

Bless you my son

http://www.churchoftomorrow.com/

[spazlabz]

Originally Posted by Nickatilynx

Bless you my son

http://www.churchoftomorrow.com/

well if thats the case (about new testament) then i wish others on the extreme right would follow that. They are constantly referring to the old testament when they are condemning everything and everyone who even slightly disagrees with them.
I guess this site http://www.churchoftomorrow.com/ isn't open for business yet. If it is then they need to pray for a new webmaster.. all the links refresh the page.


spaz

[Nickatilynx]

Originally Posted by spazlabz

well if thats the case (about new testament) then i wish others on the extreme right would follow that. They are constantly referring to the old testament when they are condemning everything and everyone who even slightly disagrees with them.
I guess this site http://www.churchoftomorrow.com/ isn't open for business yet. If it is then they need to pray for a new webmaster.. all the links refresh the page.




spaz

You are correct , my son.

The Church has fallen on hard times.

Perhaps you would like to be first to contribute to the rebuild of it.

;-))))

[mikeyddddd]

[PornoDoggy]

"A preachment, dear friends, you are about to receive
on John Barleycorn, nicotine, and the temptations of Eve"

[DrGuile]

[Nickatilynx]

Originally Posted by DrGuile

BLASPHEMER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[PornoDoggy]

I gotta go to bingo on Monday to see proof?

[DrGuile]

Originally Posted by PornoDoggy

I gotta go to bingo on Monday to see proof?

I guess punctuation is blasphemy too

[Nickatilynx]

Originally Posted by DrGuile

I guess punctuation is blasphemy too

Shouldn't you be on Vacation?

[spazlabz]

Originally Posted by Nickatilynx

You are correct , my son.

The Church has fallen on hard times.

Perhaps you would like to be first to contribute to the rebuild of it.

;-))))

SURE! i will contribute some good advice
1) get some flash on that page, we need glitter to hold our attention
2) make the links work
3) put some content in there, dammit I need devotional text to read first thing in the morning or I am an asshole all day (I missed todays reading)
4) get some boobies flashing on there... to show former naughty girls errors of their ways... as an example of how high they can be lifted after they find the Lord (you have to see what they were like when they were down right?)

there ya go, my contribution to the church of tomorrow, follow it and grow


spaz

[DrGuile]

Originally Posted by Nickatilynx

Shouldn't you be on Vacation?

I most definitely should be...

Shouldnt you be in whistler with hookers and clowns?

[SykkBoy]

I would almost bang Dr. Laura, almost...but I'd make her shout out various Bible verses while I was plowing her...

blasphemy makes me horny...

[MorganGrayson]

Oy. Meshugenah.

[JR]

Originally Posted by Nickatilynx

My Son ,

That is old Testamnet , not New Testament , and we of the religious right follow the teachings of christ.

Together , in Christ

Rev. Nick

haha.

[PornoDoggy]

Jesus is just all right with me.

[Vick]

Originally Posted by SykkBoy

I would almost bang Dr. Laura, almost...but I'd make her shout out various Bible verses while I was plowing her...

blasphemy makes me horny...

Jesus Fucking Christ

[MorganGrayson]

Originally Posted by Vick

Jesus Fucking Christ

OK...what I'm inferring from this is that Vick wants to make Sykkboy horny.

Bang on, boys.

[Dravyk]

Your own personal jesus
Someone to hear your prayers
Someone who cares
Your own personal jesus
Someone to hear your prayers
Someone who’s there

Feeling unknown
And you’re all alone
Flesh and bone
By the telephone
Lift up the receiver
I’ll make you a believer

Take second best
Put me to the test
Things on your chest
You need to confess
I will deliver
You know I’m a forgiver

Reach out and touch faith
Reach out and touch faith

[SykkBoy]

Originally Posted by MorganGrayson

OK...what I'm inferring from this is that Vick wants to make Sykkboy horny.

Bang on, boys.

I'm thinking almost amongst those same lines....

[Newton]

Originally Posted by Dravyk

Your own personal jesus
Someone to hear your prayers
Someone who cares
Your own personal jesus
Someone to hear your prayers
Someone who’s there

Feeling unknown
And you’re all alone
Flesh and bone
By the telephone
Lift up the receiver
I’ll make you a believer

Take second best
Put me to the test
Things on your chest
You need to confess
I will deliver
You know I’m a forgiver

Reach out and touch faith
Reach out and touch faith

Nick likes the remix of Depeche

[Red]

Jesus is easy, just get down on your knees
he's gonna listen to your every prayer.
Jesus is easy, just get down on your knees, he's everywhere.
Jesus Christ, he's everywhere.

I tried yoga, I couldn't do it.
Tried macrobiotics, couldn't chew it, I blew it.
Scientology, it made a fool of me
so I'm back to thinking things that I thought when I was 3.

Jesus is easy, just get down on your knees
he's gonna listen to your every prayer.
Jesus is easy, just get down on your knees, he's everywhere.
Jesus Christ, he's everywhere.

I tried women, oh how I tried,
I took little boys in leather suits outside and had them tied.
I tried a poodle, a collie, Kukla, Fran and Ollie,
but Mary in a manger got me satisfied.

Jesus is easy, just get down on your knees
he's gonna listen to your every prayer.
Jesus is easy, just get down on your knees, he's everywhere.
Jesus Christ, he's everywhere.

[Bhelliom]

Well brunettes are fine man
And blondes are fun
But when it comes to getting the dirty job done

I'll take a red headed woman
A red headed woman
It takes a read headed woman
To get a dirty job done

Well listen up stud
Your life's been wasted
Til you've got down on your knees and tasted

A red headed woman
A red headed woman
It takes a read headed woman
To get a dirty job done

Tight skirt, strawberry hair
Tell me what you've got baby, waiting under there
Big green eyes that look like, son
They can see every cheap thing that you ever done

Well I don't care how many girls you've dated, man
But you ain't lived till you've had your tires rotated

By a red headed woman
A red headed woman
It takes a read headed woman
To get a dirty job done

[Trev]

Oh god!! Everyone is posting lyrics now

[Bhelliom]

oh I thought this was the song lyric thread

[Dravyk]

Wow ... no George Harrison yet.