JESUS GIVES UP

JR · 06-03-2004

JESUS GIVES UP

Bismarck, ND – In a stunning moment of glorious witness, Jesus Christ revealed his identity as a local video store employee named “Chris,” and threw up his arms in indignation and denounced Christianity as a whole.

“Crucify this, you fuckin’ assholes!” Jesus declared as he flipped off Ken, his manager and took to the streets, knocking on doors of residents’ homes and declaring his resignation as Lord and Saviour.

“I got fucking whipped, stabbed, and thrown up on crucifix to die so you fuckers can start wars and watch Jerry Springer? I don’t think so.”

The move shocked and awed the millions of disciples and worshipers of Christ, now faced with the possibilities of giving up, or finding a new Lord.

“What am I gonna do with all this paraphernalia?” local Christian Suzanne McDermott asked. “I must have like, a thousand pictures and paintings, calendars, wooden sculptures, and glass figurines of him in my home. Who will my family worship now?”

Jesus was last seen hitchhiking down Interstate -90 heading West, and gave an angry and abrupt testimony at a gas station in Missoula, Montana.

“My children, listen close, ‘cause I’m only sayin’ this once. I have to listen to all these stupid prayers about football game outcomes and American Idol contestants, and what do I get? Crucified, that’s what. Buddha’s all fat and happy, yet I’m starved, tortured and nailed to a couple planks of wood. Fuck Mel Gibson, and fuck you all. I come back from the dead and I have to work at the VideoPalace for $6.75 an hour? Go worship someone else, I’m outta here!”

gonzo · 06-03-2004

Tell him to get a roll of dimes , a stack of faggot hats, and let sig whoring run rampant...hell do fine!

JMScore · 06-04-2004

I thought I was the only Jesus to come out of Nodak.

Where'd you find that article, JR?

TheEnforcer · 06-04-2004

Hahahaha too damn funny!!

ounique · 06-04-2004

Did you write that yourself JR? Brilliant. It's funny but it also points out a few very good point. I want to send it to my mom, LOL!!!

06-03-2004	#1
JR Members The global leader in pay-per-view AEBN Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: in my chair Posts: 3,320	JESUS GIVES UP Bismarck, ND – In a stunning moment of glorious witness, Jesus Christ revealed his identity as a local video store employee named “Chris,” and threw up his arms in indignation and denounced Christianity as a whole. “Crucify this, you fuckin’ assholes!” Jesus declared as he flipped off Ken, his manager and took to the streets, knocking on doors of residents’ homes and declaring his resignation as Lord and Saviour. “I got fucking whipped, stabbed, and thrown up on crucifix to die so you fuckers can start wars and watch Jerry Springer? I don’t think so.” The move shocked and awed the millions of disciples and worshipers of Christ, now faced with the possibilities of giving up, or finding a new Lord. “What am I gonna do with all this paraphernalia?” local Christian Suzanne McDermott asked. “I must have like, a thousand pictures and paintings, calendars, wooden sculptures, and glass figurines of him in my home. Who will my family worship now?” Jesus was last seen hitchhiking down Interstate -90 heading West, and gave an angry and abrupt testimony at a gas station in Missoula, Montana. “My children, listen close, ‘cause I’m only sayin’ this once. I have to listen to all these stupid prayers about football game outcomes and American Idol contestants, and what do I get? Crucified, that’s what. Buddha’s all fat and happy, yet I’m starved, tortured and nailed to a couple planks of wood. Fuck Mel Gibson, and fuck you all. I come back from the dead and I have to work at the VideoPalace for $6.75 an hour? Go worship someone else, I’m outta here!” __________________

06-03-2004	#2
gonzo Fat Fucking Nobody Want to see your own Advertising Here! Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Atlanta,Ga. Posts: 17,795 Blog Entries: 11	Tell him to get a roll of dimes , a stack of faggot hats, and let sig whoring run rampant...hell do fine! __________________ We are putting the bastards of this world on notice; greed and corruption will always be met with "a voice made of ink and rage." "Never try and be like anyone else" - Hunter S. Thompson "The truth is the truth no matter how you try and package a lie" - Shellee Hale

06-04-2004	#5
ounique Members Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Hollywood Posts: 61	Did you write that yourself JR? Brilliant. It's funny but it also points out a few very good point. I want to send it to my mom, LOL!!! __________________ Ounique.com - Premium Adult Content Since 1995 Instant Download 24/7/365 includes Model Releases and IDs Content That Converts!!! :)

06-04-2004	#3
JMScore Members Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 52	I thought I was the only Jesus to come out of Nodak. Where'd you find that article, JR?

06-04-2004	#4
TheEnforcer Scored VIP to Anton's Piss Tank Want to see your own Advertising Here! Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 8,781	Hahahaha too damn funny!!