True Southerner

Bama · 12-09-2003

1.) Only a true Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption, and that you "PITCH" one, -- and you "HAVE" the other.

2.) Only a true Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc. make up "a mess."

3.) Only a true Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."

4.) Only a true Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is - as in: "Going to town, be back directly."

5.) All true Southerners, even babies, know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl or a dispenser on the middle of the table.

6.) All true Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.

7.) Only a true Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. (If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin'!)

8.) Only true Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.

9.) Only a true Southerner both knows and understands the difference between a cowboy, a redneck, a goat roper, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.

10.) No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.

11.) A true Southerner knows that "fixin'" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.

12.) Only a true Southerner knows that the term "booger" can be a resident of the nose, a descriptive, as in "that ol' booger," a first name or something that jumps out at you in the dark and scares you senseless.

13.) Only true Southerners make friends while standing in lines. We don't do "queues", we do "lines," and when we're "in line," we talk to everybody!

14.) Put 100 true Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage.

15.) True Southerners never refer to one person as "y'all."

16.) True Southerners know how to cook grits and how to eat them.

17.) Every true Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that redeye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.

18.) When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'..," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!

19.) Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it - we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.

20.) A true Southerner knows that if you are with a couple of friends, you could be with 2 or 10. The number doesn't matter.

Peaches · 12-09-2003

All 100% true!!

R3K · 12-09-2003

funny shit

I am getting a mixed feeling of pride and shame for how true that is.. person who wrote that must be from Four Oaks N.C. ;-)))

DaveAFX · 12-09-2003

Quote:

11.) A true Southerner knows that "fixin'" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.

Actually, its "fittin ta", as in "I'm fittin ta fix some collards for dinner"

VooMan · 12-09-2003

Damn Dave, you beat me to it!

I've only been down here for four and a half years, but SweetT calls me an honorary southerner. And I knew it was "fittin ta" and not "fixin to." haha

Carrie · 12-09-2003

Hell yeah it's all true!!

Fletch XXX · 12-09-2003

DaveAFX · 12-09-2003

21. INsurance, instead of inSURance.

....plus, the only time I'll hear a "sir" or "ma'am" here in Boca is after the words "Can I see your license and registration.." And you're lucky to hear it THEN!

12-09-2003	#1
Bama Members Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Redmond, WA Posts: 79	1.) Only a true Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption, and that you "PITCH" one, -- and you "HAVE" the other. 2.) Only a true Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc. make up "a mess." 3.) Only a true Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder." 4.) Only a true Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is - as in: "Going to town, be back directly." 5.) All true Southerners, even babies, know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl or a dispenser on the middle of the table. 6.) All true Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well. 7.) Only a true Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. (If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin'!) 8.) Only true Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20. 9.) Only a true Southerner both knows and understands the difference between a cowboy, a redneck, a goat roper, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash. 10.) No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn. 11.) A true Southerner knows that "fixin'" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb. 12.) Only a true Southerner knows that the term "booger" can be a resident of the nose, a descriptive, as in "that ol' booger," a first name or something that jumps out at you in the dark and scares you senseless. 13.) Only true Southerners make friends while standing in lines. We don't do "queues", we do "lines," and when we're "in line," we talk to everybody! 14.) Put 100 true Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage. 15.) True Southerners never refer to one person as "y'all." 16.) True Southerners know how to cook grits and how to eat them. 17.) Every true Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that redeye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food. 18.) When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'..," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner! 19.) Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it - we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk. 20.) A true Southerner knows that if you are with a couple of friends, you could be with 2 or 10. The number doesn't matter. __________________ Easy-Registry $9.45 Domains & Renewals - ICANN Approved Registrar Free Web Page Builder Free Email Accounts Free URL Forwarding Free Domain Parking Free Name Spinning Services Absolute & Advanced Control Of DNS

12-09-2003	#2
Peaches Members Want to see your own Advertising Here! Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Hills of N. GA Posts: 10,823	All 100% true!! __________________ Peaches@onlinebeach.com ICQ# 36734533

12-09-2003	#3
R3K Members Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: North Carolina Posts: 96	funny shit I am getting a mixed feeling of pride and shame for how true that is.. person who wrote that must be from Four Oaks N.C. ;-))) __________________ "In those days spirits were brave, the stakes were high, men were real men, women were real women and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were real small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri." Warning:Nothing expressed in my posts is a collective opinion of any organizations that I am affiliated with, they are my opinions, and I am solely responsible for them. ;-) National Net - No Hype, Just Results

12-09-2003	#5
VooMan Members Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 931	Damn Dave, you beat me to it! I've only been down here for four and a half years, but SweetT calls me an honorary southerner. And I knew it was "fittin ta" and not "fixin to." haha __________________

12-09-2003	#6
Carrie Eternal Newbie Respin bullshit press Your Comments Are Welcomed Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Inside your monitor Posts: 2,850	Hell yeah it's all true!! __________________ Need a kick-ass design done quickly? I recommend Sex Creator - they absolutely ROCK.

12-09-2003	#7
Fletch XXX Members Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Death Valley Posts: 1,266	__________________ Hit me up (ICQ 148841377) to

12-09-2003	#8
DaveAFX Members Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 103	21. INsurance, instead of inSURance. ....plus, the only time I'll hear a "sir" or "ma'am" here in Boca is after the words "Can I see your license and registration.." And you're lucky to hear it THEN!