Raising Boys - 25 key points to ponder

[Winetalk.com]

> a) For those with no children - this is totally
> hysterical!
>
> For those who already have children past this
> age, this is hilarious.
>
> c) For those who have children this age, this is not
> funny.
>
> d) For those who have children nearing this age,
> this is a warning.
>
> e) For those who have not yet had children, this is
> birth control.
>
> The following came from an anonymous Mother in
> Austin, Texas...
>
> Things I've learned from my Boy's (honest and not
> kidding):
>
> 1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill
> a
> 2000 sq.ft. house 4 inches deep.
>
> 2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run
> over them with Roller blades, they can ignite.
>
> 3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200
> adults in a crowded restaurant.
>
> 4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the
> motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy
> wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is
> strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to
> spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
>
> 5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the
> ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a
> bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times
> before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a
> baseball a long way.
>
> 6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't
> stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
>
> 7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh
> oh", it's already too late.
>
> 8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and
> lots of it.
>
> 9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint
> rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can
> only do it in the movies.
>
> 10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive
> tract of a 4-year old Boy.
>
> 11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in
> the same sentence.
>
> 12.) Super glue is forever.
>
> 13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming
> pool you still can't walk on water.
>
> 14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
>
> 15.) VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even
> though TV commercials show they do.
>
> 16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
>
> 17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when
> driving.
>
> 18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor
> is.
>
> 19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on;
> plastic toys do not like ovens.
>
> 20.) The fire department in La Mesa, CA has a
> 5-minute response time.
>
> 21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not
> make earthworms dizzy.
>
> 22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.
>
> 23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when
> dizzy.
>
> 24.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the
> Clorox and brake fluid.
>
> 25.) Women will pass this on to almost all of their
> friends, with or without kids.