HONEST Answer guys and gals
 

What's the longest you have stayed in a relationship you knew... absolutely knew wasn't meant to be ?

I'm breaking my old previous record and I am at 2 years now I was 100% sure I shouldn't be with her, due to financial reasons and not wanting to stop seeng my kid every day.... I stay though, and please... for christ sakes don't tell me the moeny issues can be overcome - they can't. Not if I want my daughter to have not only the things she needs but a couple toys a week that are new and going out to do things normal kids do.. Money goes quick nowadays, LOL

Not asking for sympathy either, my dumbass got myself here and I could of dug myself out 2 years ago if I pulled my head out of my ass... so it's all my fault... But

As to the question, how many can relate ?

I am ready to tell Missy tomorrow I want to make the other room upstairs (3rd bedroom) my main bedroom and she can keep the master tomorrow... starting working on it as 18 months of sleeping on the fucking couch and damn you get some backaches !!!

Re: HONEST Answer guys and gals
 

2 weeks ;) Good luck man and it is possible to live in the safe house with separate lives :okthumb:

Re: HONEST Answer guys and gals
 

I can relate - big time. Tried for 18 months at the longest (1st marriage); 2nd marriage STILL tried for a year.

My personal experience and observation is that a) ex-lovers make lousy roommates (been there, done that, got so pissed off I tore up that t-shirt), and b) staying together for the sake of the children just fucks up the kids and the adults over a longer period of time than an amicable (or even not-so-amicable) disolution of a failed relationship will.

I can relate to sticking around in order to see your kids but you lost me when you started talking about toys. I think they'd rather have love, and there are far better ways of showing it. There are one hell of a lot of things more important in the development of a child than "a couple toys a week that are new" - like time spent with them, reading to/with them, just TALKING to them, etc. Happy parents make better parents. Kids pick up on tension and unhappiness far better than the typical adults' ability to act happy when they aren't.

Re: HONEST Answer guys and gals
 

8 years, but it was on/off/on/off/on/off.....We weren't seeing each other during a combined total of about 4 of those years ;) When it was good, it was very, very good but when it was bad...... Finally ended it all about 7 years ago.

Re: HONEST Answer guys and gals
 

Well

My ex-wife and I lived in the same house together for a year and 1/2 AFTER we were divorced (which was a year or more after we knew the marriage wasn't going to work), at the time we felt it was the best thing for our son
We split the house up with her section and mine and the common areas

There wasn't a lot of fighting and NONE (at least very little that he only saw by walking in) in front of Sebastian

Now we have lived in separated dwellings for almost a year, the transitions are still occasionally tough on Sebastian but he has 2 houses and his own bedroom in both

Bottom line is obviously your child comes first
Why wait for tomorrow to work out what is best for your child's well being and future?

But what is best for your child's well being and future I have no idea

Re: HONEST Answer guys and gals
 

4 years...this bitch cunt names simone

we moved to nashville together, she cheated on me 5 times

after we broke up she became a hooker, literally

she was wild, crazy and didn't care about much, guess that was the reason I stayed with her, and the reason I finally broke up with her

I am honestly surprised I never got any diseases from her, god knows how many dudes she fucked that I didn't know about

Re: HONEST Answer guys and gals
 

Ryan...you got some great advice here from parents. Don't fall into the typical parental mistake: thinking your child needs "things." (Children need food, shelter, medical care and educational supplies...the rest are "wants." One of the best gifts you can give your child is a grasp of the difference between a "want" and a "need.")

No kid *needs* two new toys a week. All you're going to do if you do that is create a greedy kid with a sense of entitlement. (Unless you're buying books. That's different.)

Kids want *time.* They want attention. Some of the best times I ever spent with my Dad was in the garage, sitting on the concrete, playing the "hand me the 5/8" wrench next, please" game while most of him was underneath the car. I hammered a lot of nails into scrap lumber. (My mother nearly killed him when his casual remark sent me into the house asking for the container of "elbow grease" to soften my very own baseball glove.)

Our own kids spent a lot of similiar time. When one finally bought her own car, she was equipped to deal with it after the hours she logged in the driveway with her Dad. We couldn't afford shit when they were growing up, but by hell, those kids can cope with life. They didn't get "things," but they got "time."

And to answer the original question, off and on for...geeze, looking back, it was probably only a couple of years. Seemed longer. That whole period is so lost in the mists of time....

Re: HONEST Answer guys and gals
 

That's an Issac Hayes song ..

Re: HONEST Answer guys and gals
 

Whenever things have got rocky in my marriage I have always thought of just one word..

Love?
Kids?
Happiness?


fuck no!!!!


"Half" !


;-))))

Re: HONEST Answer guys and gals
 

Yeppers. I definitely think she'd take half of everything you own...including your penis. ;)

Re: HONEST Answer guys and gals
 

hahahah...yeah, i am sure it is the theme of every depressing country song too

Re: HONEST Answer guys and gals
 

Why has it always got to be penis related? ;-))))



"Mrs Nickatilynx , your husband isn't very tall"
"He is lying on his back or when standing on his wallet." she retorted...


;-))

Re: HONEST Answer guys and gals
 

Because it's Morgan. :D













Morgan wants your organ

Re: HONEST Answer guys and gals
 

Thats it!

You've crossed the line!

See you downstairs in yr hat and coat!

;-)))


Besides its well known I have a tiny organ , and it certainly couldn't play in the Albert Hall!!!!

( runs like fuck now...)


;-)))

Re: HONEST Answer guys and gals
 

hahahahahahah :wnw:


I'm departing this thread rapidly - exit stage right :1run:

Re: HONEST Answer guys and gals
 

BOTH of you fucking British twats better run like hell!!! :clubinhan

(I swear, Nick, you are so damned lucky that was funny as hell! I can not tell you the number of times your wit has saved your life!!)

:bustingup

Re: HONEST Answer guys and gals
 

mmmm, year and a half, with a few 2 week breaks in there to wet my whistle elsewhere. we're done now though, havent had sex in over 2 weeks, my longest in several years. :(

Re: HONEST Answer guys and gals
 

You're getting old.

Re: HONEST Answer guys and gals
 

i'd say.. around 3 years straight.. but of course there were fights and making up with each other.. ups and downs makes the relationship stronger atleast that's how I see it.. you'll be able to assess and change for the better because of criticisms.. the good thing is you talk things over and you are always sincere to each other...people are not perfect but there are rooms for improvement...

Re: HONEST Answer guys and gals
 

going back to the things topic of toys and such..

as a male in the mid-20s, i look back at my father, and the most precious childhood memories of him never ever were about when he gave me something. the one thing that sticks out in my mind wall all the sports teams he coached of mine growing up, or every weekend driving me around to games and always watching and truly wanting to be there and see me succeed. he did it for years and years, and sacrificed his weekends to spend with both my sister and I. its the things that cannot be bought that you remember.

Re: HONEST Answer guys and gals
 

Oh wow your post makes me nostalgic, my dad was a field mechanic for logging machinery so while he was away from home some of the time (once we were all older) I still do recall many many hours spent with him in the shop (which is larger than my parents house) working on my mom's car & stuff, just hanging out... I loved it!

I never had the typical "popular" toys and I am grateful my parents never budged & gave in or let me throw fits or anything...

In the end, toys end up being given away, lost, broken... but memories of time spent with parents lasts forever.

Re: HONEST Answer guys and gals
 

Sprain your wrist ? :blink:

Re: HONEST Answer guys and gals
 

I deeply regret that I never told my father how instrumental he was in making me what I am today. He never treated me differently because I was a girl. He wanted his first to be a boy, of course, being the combat boot wearing traditionalist that he was, but he didn't reject me because I was a girl. In a way, he sort of neutered me. I remember being introduced to other combat boot wearing guys as "my kid." Always said proudly. I helped with the car; with the building he did; played catch with him in the back yard (That would have gone better if I had any depth perception, which I don't. Keeping "my eye on the ball" didn't work for me.) When my Mom finally redeemed her mountain of green stamps, I wanted a chemistry set. My Mom fussed and attempted to point me toward "girl stuff." I remember my father growling at her "if the kid wants a chemistry set...get the kid a chemistry set!" He helped me with it and we did a bunch of experiments. Never blew anything up, though.... :)

Re: HONEST Answer guys and gals
 

You should show him that post :)

Any dick can father a child , takes a man to be a Dad.

He was a man.

Me? I hate kids LOL , but I spend a lot of time with mine to annoy them ;-)))

Re: HONEST Answer guys and gals
 

We maybe if you get a few drinks into Albert first he'd let you "play" in his hall
(or whatever is the fashionable term gay men are using now)

Re: HONEST Answer guys and gals
 

Yeah, right...on the last line. ;)

But total :okthumb: :okthumb: :okthumb: on the "Dad" line.

The first time I heard my husband say "I love you, too" to my oldest daughter on the phone I had to go cry in the bathroom.
(Long story, not for today.)
She may have a shitfuck biological, but she's finally got a "Dad." :)

Re: HONEST Answer guys and gals
 

Ooooh!! Nice!!!!!
Thanks, Vick! :wub:

(Does becoming aroused when someone taunts Nick make me a bad person?) :huh:

Re: HONEST Answer guys and gals
 

What's left for me to say now? :okthumb:

Re: HONEST Answer guys and gals
 

Thanks, Osiris. :kiss:


(Is there a better "smooche" smilie out there somewhere? I don't like this one and I keep coming close to clicking the other one that starts out with this kind of face...but is *not* the message I want to send!)

Re: HONEST Answer guys and gals
 

Re: HONEST Answer guys and gals
 

If anybody wants me, I'll be off in the corner in tears...what that song *always* does to me...and muttering "fuck you, Nick" a lot. :hmm:

Re: HONEST Answer guys and gals
 

I think it was 3 or 4 years. I try not to think about it. That's rather impossible though, as a reminder of it is sleeping across the hall, snuggled down in his Star Wars comforter.

In the end, I decided he was probably better off having two parents in the free world instead of one dead and one in prison for murder.

Re: HONEST Answer guys and gals
 

my hand won't fuck me. too high standards.

Re: HONEST Answer guys and gals
 

Staying together for the sake of the kids is not a good idea. As a child of that situation I can say that with certainty.

My mother was in love with the man who is now my stepfather from the time I was 2 and she waited until I left for college before she left my father. I never heard them fighting, but I also never saw real love between them and I grew up with no role model of an honest, loving relationship. I'm not saying that's the reason I went through men like Kleenex, but I'm sure it was an influence.
My mother has said for years that she is so sorry she didn't leave sooner and have my brother, myself and step siblings all raised in a house with love.

Giving the toys and the niceties, doesn't mean shit. I had pretty much everything I wanted as a child and it is no substitute for a parent's love and attention.
You can't make your children happy if you're miserable.

Re: HONEST Answer guys and gals
 

Matthew 5.30

Re: HONEST Answer guys and gals
 

:bustingup:bustingup

Re: HONEST Answer guys and gals
 

Hmm being burned over being gay by a guy in a red and black striped suit wearing wings who hangs out with a guy who dresses like and thinks he's a pirate....

OK.....


;-)))

Re: HONEST Answer guys and gals
 

I guess I was having a sick day when the memo went out that kids need toys every week. My kids have been RIPPED all these years! :p

Seriously, Ryan, you've been given some VERY good advice here...not much more to say than what's been said....so, in summation:

1. Kids don't need 'stuff' to feel loved
2. Kids need your time and attention to feel loved
3. 'For the sake of the kids' is never a good reason to stay together and can be more harmful to children than an amicable split

Best of luck with it Ryan :)

Re: HONEST Answer guys and gals
 

One thing I *did* get to tell my dad was how much watching him and Mom taught me about how to be married. They made everything they did together "special." What mattered to them was the small things in life. They always had matching coffee mugs, with napkins and spoons, etc., laid out on the table. They were very "ritualistic" people. The evening cocktail hour was the same. A biggie event was the two of them going to the grocery or Home Depot or something. My mother sat with him while he watched sports on television. She read voraciously, so she always had a book, but would look up at the appropriate moments and make the appropriate noises.

They never said "this is how to be happily married." They just lived their life and I observed.

Observing an unhappy marriage would have given me a totally different outlook on relationships. I would have believed being miserable was "normal" and it was as good as it was going to get. Instead, I learned that matching coffee mugs and doing things together was "normal."

Re: HONEST Answer guys and gals
 

Would you please stand between us in the green housedress for class picture day? ;-)