I stand corrected.
http://gfy.com/showthread.php?t=1083661&page=2
Hello all,
You know its very sad that I have to log in to GFY a few days before the 1 year anniversary of Todd's (sextoyking) death and explain all of this. I really just want the man to rest in peace. One comment from one person and a whole shit storm starts. What Todd's EX-wife and her co-horts are saying is totally not true. Here's the truth.....
When Todd died no one from his family or his side of the family stepped up to the plate to take care of his affairs. No one had the money or didn't want to. If I didn't step up the man would have been cremated and put in a plastic bag. I didn't think that right for the kind of man Todd was and for his family. So, I plunked out between $12K of my own money to try and give the man a proper burial. I did this for Mary and the kids. I also involved them in the whole process. They wanted a viewing so I paid to have him prepped and presentable before the cremation. They wanted a service so I paid for the service and also a reception afterwards. I even paid an extra $1200 to give Mary and each of the girls a necklace with some of his ashes in them so they could always have a part of him close to their hearts. At that time everyone was SOOOO grateful to me for doing that, but no one offered to chip in and I didn't ask for anything from anyone....all out of my pocket.
Then, I tried to get a military burial because Todd had served, but he didn't qualify. So, there was no place to put him to rest and everyone was fighting as to who would hold his ashes. So again, I stepped up and forked out another 3 grand to have him placed in a local cemetary where everyone currently lives so that they would have a place to go anytime, 24/7 to visit him if they wanted. I did that for his family....out of my own pocket.
I never wanted to even do a donation site! It was Todd's girls that came to me and said they wanted to do it. They told me that they wanted to try and recoup the money that I had spent to bury their dad and give him a decent funeral FOR THEM. So, I said ok....I'll get a donation site going and depending on how it goes the first $10K or so will go to me because that is what I spent of my own money and if there was anymore then I would divide that between all his children....which there is a total of 6 of them. So, when the site was up I had business cards made and the girls went out to solicit donations and I came to this community to ask all of you for donations. At that time the economy was bad....still is....and a lot of us were suffering, but many of you made the donations you could and I appreciated that and thank everyone that did. I also made a donation to the giving tree that year too because they did it in part in Todd's name too. I made one post on here to ask for donations and I made one more to thank everyone that did. You can check out the posts. I did not continually harp and ask for more money. People did what they could and I appreciated it and I've hardly been on this board since.
Back in the good ole days this community stepped up to the plate in times of need for one of our community. Back then it was usually Todd himself at the front of the pack or involved in some way. I remember one time we raised over $60K for one cause alone. I was hoping for that kind of response, but was not expecting it with the way the economy was at the time and our industry as a whole. If I got even half of that I would have been happy and I would have been able to give his children a little something. Unfortunately, it didn't work out that way.
I received a total of about $3,400 in donations through the donation site from you all and with what the girls tried to do. One of Todd's girls was helping out at the office at the time and I showed her every donation and every bank statement for this project. So, the donation site didn't work out very well and there was not any money really to give to the children. Yes, I used the $3,400 and put it toward the expenses of Todd's funeral. I put out $12K and received $3K or so in donations. You do that math. Yes, I'm still making payments one year later on those expenses.
Now, this doesn't even include the month's of house payments I covered until I was able to clean Todd's stuff out of his house. There's more expenses I covered. AND...when I did clean out the house Todd's EX-Wife Mary and his kids came over and took what they wanted of their dads stuff. I took nothing other than one keepsake I had given Todd on one of his birthdays. The rest of it went to his family....not me. Mary, the EX, took most of everything (typical of her...she bled Todd dry every chance she could for 18 years even as an EX-Wife)....all the flat screen tv's, computers, laptops etc all went to the family and when they were done I had Volunteers of America come through to take what they wanted that could help others and then the rest went to the dump.....IN THAT ORDER.
So yeah....I'm the big bad guy in all of this that has done nothing for this family. Within a week Mary had hocked anything of value for drug money and yet she wants to make comments on the donation site Facebook page of what a shit I've been? That I've not given a dime to the family of any of the donations? Well, there wasn't much in the way of donations, the family got all of Todd's personal possessions and I'm the one that gave the family a nice funeral and burial of their dad.
Oh....and by the way....Todd did ask me that if anything happened to him that I had to make sure that his youngest daughter was taken care of and to do what I could for his girls. Well, his youngest daughter is living with me....we are now foster parents to her because her mother Mary is a drug addict that can't get her shit together to get her own daughter back. Won't even engage CPS to the point to even getting her visitation with her daughter back. You don't have to do a lot to at least be able to have visitation of your kid. So, what does that say about her?
I don't like airing "dirty laundry" so to say about anyone. It's no one's business to know about drug addiction problems or CPS taking your kid and being a foster parent etc etc. I am a totally easy going guy about most everything. I was never at the forefront of our company....that was always Todd. You all have nothing but nice things to say about Todd and the kind of man he was. Do you think Todd would have stuck around me for 18 years as a friend and business partner if I wasn't at least close to the same kind of person? Really? Some of you actually believing the shit being said on here about this is even remotely true? There are a few old school peeps on here that do know me and know the kind of person that I am.
I am totally secure in myself that I have done right by Todd's family. I've gone way above and beyond what some people would have done. I can wake up every morning and still look at myself in the mirror. You all can believe what you want. I've said my piece and will not get caught up in this family drama anymore. It's just this kind of drama that helped put Todd in the grave anyway. I'm not going down that road.