In landmark deals, Playboy Enterprises, Inc. has acquired three leading companies in their respective industries. The deals were all announced yesterday, before lunch. Though unclear, it has been speculated by anonymous sources for adult industry gossip blog, BoIsFront.com, most of whom are workers at an Exxon station in Peoria, Illinois, that Playboy intends to dissolve all of the companies and use the resources to make nachos for mainstream movie theaters. One source, a guy that hangs arou...
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