TE...no, this, like most issues, isn't black and white.
Dravyk...that's the key: knowing the people to whom you are speaking or referring. I would never use the real name of someone if I wasn't absolutely certain it wasn't already in general usage and my relationship with said person had evolved to the point where I felt it was appropriate to address the person by name.
If rhetorical wouldn't mind serving as an example: if he had not expressed displeasure at the use of his name and I had just read someone else using it, our relationship has not evolved to a point where I would feel comfortable using it *myself,* even if it was appropriate for others to do so. Many conversations down the line...perhaps.
To add a bit of humor to an otherwise serious thread: has anyone else driven their nearest and dearest nearly out of their minds by discussing their workday and referring to a friend or associate by both their real name *and* their nick...in the same sentence? My husband has become apoplectic trying to follow one of my monologues when I've done that. "Are A and B the SAME person? Who is C? C has the same nickname as the REAL NAME of D! YOU'RE DRIVING ME CRAZY!! PICK A NAME AND STICK WITH IT BUT STOP USING BOTH!"
I've tried. I can't. He's getting better at remembering the players, though.