[Red]

A drunk is staggering down the street with his car keys in his hand, and his member hanging out when he sees a cop.

He says, "Officer, Officer somebody stole my car," gesturing with his keys.

The officer says, "Where did you have it?"

The drunk says, "On the end of this key."

The policeman notices that the drunk's member is hanging out and tells him, "Sir, are you aware that you are exposing yourself?"

The drunk looks down and sees his tool protruding from his pants zipper and says, "Shee-it! They got my girlfriend too."