[gonzo]

Open letter to MS

Dear Bill---
Sorry we spammed your toolbar to all those hotmail accounnts. You see I had been drinking for 5 hours prior to sending them so when I acted like a childish immature selfish piece of shit that everyone knows that I am...I blacked out. Im having trouble remembering the events of what happened.

I woke up and I had a lawsuit against me. You see its all my friends fault they told me it was creative marketing and when I stepped over the line no one was there to throw me a lifeline.

I hope you understand and will not be too mad at us. As a gesture of good will I am sending you a database of all of my mailing affiliates so that you can make sure that they dont cause the same problems as I have. Also Im throwing in the towel so here is my sweaty teeshirt,hat and shorts so that I wont ever do that again.

Im trying to get help and I hope that you are forgiving and will understand that I blacked out and it was all my friends fault who encouraged me to do the creative marketing.

I will whine,complain and accept it. I am a scamming self centered bully who has nothing better to do than sit in a fountain, get hauled by security in a headlock [I was blacked out I dont remember throwing rocks at the limos and cars parked outside that hotel] be sent to my room [where I blacked out again and began throwing tables out of the 33rd floor window while I pitched my temper tantrum]. Its all my friends fault they should have told me that throwing stuff out of the window could kill someone.

Please get me some help!

Your Friend,
Smart Guy.

PS would you like an invitation to my wedding?