I've had a copy since I was kid. Anyone else a fan?
http://www.alcyone.com/max/lit/devils/a.html
POLITICS, n.
A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
POLITICIAN, n.
An eel in the fundamental mud upon which the superstructure of organized society is reared. When we wriggles he mistakes the agitation of his tail for the trembling of the edifice. As compared with the statesman, he suffers the disadvantage of being alive.
FAITH, n.
Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel.
INSURANCE, n.
An ingenious modern game of chance in which the player is permitted to enjoy the comfortable conviction that he is beating the man who keeps the table.
INSURRECTION, n.
An unsuccessful revolution. Disaffection's failure to substitute misrule for bad government.