Quote:
Originally posted by sarettah@Jun 3 2004, 07:15 PM
You cannot change people. To believe that you have the kind of control over a person that you can actually make them change is a very egotistical view.
Only a person themselves can make changes in their lives.
You can talk to them till you are blue in the face, you can check them in and out of rehab every week, you can pay off their gambling debts and help give them a new start, you can help them destroy all the alcohol in their reach and then drive them back and forth to AA 7 nights a week and it still will not matter a fucking hoot.
Hope JoeE comes through this ok. I don't know him, I just know of him what I have read so I have no real feelings towards him one way or another. However, he is a human being and has apparently had problems before, the kind that money can't cure, and I wish that on noone.
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I don't think Mike was claiming to be able to fix joes problems ... he was referring to the amazing amount of people who have patted joe on the back and laughed and encouraged him while he was snorting, drinking, throwing money in pools etc who are now turning around and saying 'oh what a shame'.
While you can't fix people's problems for them, being a friend involves telling the truth - whether its pleasant to hear or not - and providing support during that time. Unfortunately, most of this industry is as greedy and money hungry as each other, and saving a human being always falls second to the almighty dollar.
What's egotistical about thinking you can do something to help someone? We all have the power to help other people, but few of us know where to start.
At the end of all this, if Joe turned his life around, I'd be there to support him. Surprised?! I have a lot of time for people who help themselves, not for people who claim to be off drugs while rolling up a fiddy & cutting up on a toilet seat ...
I genuinely hope this is the kick in the pants Joe needed to straighten himself out & I'll be the first person to congratulate him if he does.