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5. Your government recently gave $170 million to a group called PSI. PSI was founded by Philip Harvey. Philip Harvey runs a mail-order porno business called Adam and Eve. PSI wants to hand out condoms around the world. They now have $170 million of your money to fund their project. (Why didn't any of US get in on that deal??!)
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I hope lots of those condoms make it into the hands (and onto the cocks) of as many of the more stupid Americans as possible. It'd be worth the tax money to me to see fewer stupid people passing on their intellectual inferiority.