Darlin’ take the duct tape from the shelf
Save me from my foolish, drunken self
Character assassinations
From my spirits and libations
It’s just the bottle talking now
As the intoxication flows
My sweet inebriation grows
When martinis pass my lips
All my quips get razor tips
It’s just the bottle talking now
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I once wanted to be a Gynecologist
But I couldn't find an opening
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