Scientists are discovering that animals -- and people -- become "addicted" to each other through a process of sexual imprinting, mediated by the brain's reward system, and that genetics and neurochemistry cause people to love, lust, form attachments, develop fetishes, be promiscuous or loyal, and a lot more.

At the center of the story are two chemicals -- oxytocin and vasopressin. Both excite the reward center of the brain, and the amount of each in your brain is genetically determined. All the world's monogamous animals -- that's 3%, including humans --- have them. The 97% of nonmonogamous animals don't have them.

Oxytocin and vasopressin, which are released during sexual intercourse, excite brain regions associated with reward and reinforcement. They're the glue that attaches people to each other

Oxytocin and vasopressin are also involved with identifying others. Animals identify or remember each other based on smell, which is where pheromones come in the parts of the brain that are excited by romantic love are the same ones that create the euphoria induced by cocaine. In other words, the same neural mechanisms are activated in love as are activated during the process of addiction

There's a large variation in the distribution of vasopressin receptors from individual to individual. This may explain individual differences in social behavior -- especially infidelity.

There are three forms of "love" -- lust, romantic love and long-term attachment -- and they're separate phenomena, roughly equivalent to systems necessary to mate, bond and parent.

The aftermath of sex is similar to the state induced by taking opiates, including increases in serotonin, oxytocin, vasopressin and endogenous opioids (the body's natural equivalent of heroin).

"Being in love" may share chemical characteristics with the manic phase of manic-depressive disorder.

Because the three systems of love are independent and can work simultaneously, it's possible to love more than one person at a time

The list goes on and including possibilities of using drugs or genetic medicine to help people form more satisfying relationships.

More info at http://www.economist.com/printedition/disp...tory_ID=2424049


NOTE - I am not certain that Humans are really monogamous animals

"Love" is a bad word to use in this instance. I love my son, my parents, my siblings, my friends and I don't think I could put them all into those 3 "forms". :awinky:

And no, I don't think humans are physically monogamous, I think you have to be monogamous spiritually - it's your heart and brain that keeps you from straying. :) And the fear of getting your ass whooped by your spouse's attorney. :P

With rophynol love is always chemistry.

Whats love got to do with it??? got to do with it??? :rokk:

Kevin Lomax: What about love?

John Milton: Overrated. Biochemically no different than eating large quantities of chocolate.


From the best scene ever in a movie!! That whole 10 minute exchange is awesome beyond words!! :rokk:

I've read about oxytocin before.

I think imprinting and biochemistry are part of the story. Some people "fall in love" before having sex though. The definition of love is ambiguous enough to permit many different analyses.

So if you are married, but you meet someone who you have a chemistry with, you are supposed to deny yourself a physical pleasure because you have a spiritual commitment to someone?! Wouldn't someone who you had a true spiritual commitment with WANT you to experience pleasure - with or without them?

Its in forcing ourselves (or each other) to be monogamous that problems occur in a relationship - and before you say that you shouldn't be in a relationship if you feel that way - 70% of the population is! We are pressured to go through life and 'find a mate' who we are then encouraged to marry as soon as possible and settle down and start producing children with ...

no wonder so many people are fucked up!!!!

I think our relationship thoughts must be as opposite as humanly possible Peaches LOl!!!!

If lust were olfactory-driven we wouldn't be here in this business.

I've lusted plenty without my monitor giving off a single scent. And so have we all!

Check back with me when you're my age and we'll compare notes again. :awinky:

Bottom line, cheating is lying (I don't consider swingers or those with otherwise open marriages as cheating). If you lie about something like this, your relationship sucks. Too many people DO get married for the wrong reasons - they want the wife/husband, 2.5 kids, house in suburbia, etc. Then they "...meet someone who (they) have a chemistry with....", they don't deny themselves and they hurt a lot of people in the process. Once you watch it happen to a few of your friends, your loved ones and worse, their kids, you truly rethink things. It's one of the reasons I don't think anyone should get married until they're in their mid to upper 30's - if then, lol!

There are things that we'd love to do that we deny ourselves doing every day because it's dangerous and/or hurtful to others and/or ourselves. I would love to drive 100 MPH on the back roads and 130 in the interstate. I would love to eat nothing but cheesecake all day long. I would love to put my car in 4WD and just drive over the little Fiesta blocking my way in traffic. But these decisions have consequences and we have to decide if we can live with those consequences. Many people say yes, many more say no. :)

And let's not forget, the grass is always greener on the other side the fence. But many times you jump the fence and find out it's nothing but astroturf. :okthumb:

Let me also add that in some of the heathiest marriages I know, the spouses have had several "crushes" through the years. The partner always knows about it, and it's fun fantasy play. But the line doesn't get crossed where it becomes real and in every case, the "crushee" eventually falls out of the "crushers" grace once the morning dew melts off. B)

Check back with me when you're my age and we'll compare notes again. :awinky:[/b][/quote]
Sorry Peaches but I didn't read past this sentence

It would require an equally insulting response so I'll leave it here :okthumb:

Sorry Peaches but I didn't read past this sentence

It would require an equally insulting response so I'll leave it here :okthumb:[/b][/quote]
Had you continued reading, you would have seen that it was in no way, shape or form said as an insult. :)

This one here has PEARL written all over it!