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Mercedes Bends!

Posted 04-26-2008 at 10:14 AM by gonzo
Last night I decided to park downstairs close to the community post office for the condos that temporarily house Oprano HQ in Charlotte.

Its a fairly nice place. You have several resturants downstairs and a Starbucks directly 2 floors below me. So the neighboorhood is pretty nice and when those basketball tourneys come to town I am recessed enough to be insulated from the natives.

So last night I decided to park on the lower level long enough to get my mail and proceed upstairs to the secured garage.

I snagged the last place but before I could get out of the car this Mercedes parks right up beside me and the the jackass gets out and bashes the side of my car in.

So I get out on the other side and ask them "Hey Mercedes dude...whats up with that?"

The guy must be related to some of you dick wavers that come here from time to time to impress us with your worldly knowledge and vast wealth becasue he played the indignant card.

He told me I shouldnt have parked so close to the line and essentially... hell it was a Mercedes. He kept walking and tossed a if you dont like it sue me back my way as he swaggered toward the bar and mentioned something to the security guard.

The security around here is uptight and very anal. They have been dispensed some authority and it gives them a sense of power and attitude. However I had already encountered Clyde the weekend and nightly security guy.

Clyde takes his job serious and had recently ran afoul of my mexican furniture delivery guys a few weeks ago. While they played no speakee engrish they unlaoded all of my shit in a no parking zone.

I realized that things were going to be tough when Clyde is around so wisely I spent some face time with Clyde and took him a large cup of Starbucks in his very own travel mug [alas not one of the Oprano Millionaires Travel Mugs with the dishwashable/removable logo]. Me and Clyde are good.

He came down to see what was going on power walking like Fred Sanford when he immediatly spied the problem. Mr Mercedes was parked in a tow away zone!

Clyde must have a red hot line to the tow company becasue they were there before I could walk in and get my mail. With Clyde supervising Big Johnny was jacking up that Mercedes with the alarm blaring.

For some reason the way he had hooked it up put the bumper into a bind.

Big Johnny just shrugged and laughed..."Mercedes Bends" as he wheeled off slinging that SUV in tow.
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