I hang My Head and Cry

Friday night I got talked into going to a Cash Bash.
Thats where 5 cover bands play in one night covers of the Man in Black ,Johnny Cash. And true to form since Ive been up here this was destined to be another fucked up night.

My local tour guide recommended this place called the Cajun Queen for its nonsnooty atmosphere but instead we found ourselves in the hangout for the supposed local Blue Bloods.

After an hour wait [they arent very good at this] we were crammed into the far corner and ordered some more booze and dinner. Then the fun starts.

See the Crazy White Devil Woman has been working on Sundays for a little extra cash at the local hippie dippy freaky deaky bar. To make a long story short she told these folks where she worked at and apparently in this town the starving artists also have an uppity attitude. So they were less than polite or cordial when she told them she worked for a porn company.

I guess they call them starving artists for a reason because seated directly next to us was starving artist "Tripp" and his cleaned up prepster coed along with Momma and Step Daddy Jim and some other drunken elderly woman.

The jackass is promptly introduced to me as the CWDW's coworker which of course subliminally lets this fucker know what I do for work as well.

I guess he had told everyone at the dinner table about the kind of work that we do which made for a tense meal for them and a SMS textfest for us.

If your going to be judgemental about where people work then you should at least make enough money to take out your own date when you turn 30.

We left with a complimentary bourbon pecan pie desert that later served as an air freshener in the car but more on that later.

We got to this place which was originally a place that sold farm gear but apparently the guy was more adept at selling cheap beer. So the place is now a bar of sorts but the cheap beer remains.

Now I know good and damn well not to be drinking PBR no matter how cheap it is but when they run out of everything else - you get to enjoy the bounty of PBR chilling in the Barbie purse of the CWDW.

PBR brings you many friends as they all figured if your drinking the swill then you are one of them. And the fellows of Charlotte have proven that even a bubba can have no shame as they will troll for ass just like the brothers of Atlanta regardless of whos standing there. Oh and lets not forget the roller derby lezzie lickers . . .

At some point - she slips out to drink some peach moonshine (Now you know how the pecan pie got spilled) and here Im left with to hear some PBR wisdom. The bubbas wanted to debate the pros and cons of women with tattoos.

One bubba thought that women with ink are cheap and easy. He seemed to think that a woman with proper upbringing would not stoop to be adorned with these "tribal" markings.

Bubba 2 just thought it looked pretty damn hot and he pointed out that the women in there must agree as he was spotting and commenting on several tattoos.

Of course they all wanted to know my thoughts on the matter. After all I was drinking PBR!

About this time the moonshine drinking with the unknown bubba has been concluded as they await.

My response to Bubba 1 who has previously been asstrolling for a phone number was pretty classic I must admit.

My attitude is that if it makes a woman happy then what harm could it possibly be....of course then I ask moonshine momma when she got that tattoo just below her neck.

All in all I believe its the taboo that sells porn in many cases. The shock value of seeing things youve never seen before or the open availibility that the internet allows the consumer.

Bottom line is no matter how judgemental these guys are in public . . they still buy.

So I will hang my head and cry . . . as laugh I under my breath and cash the checks. You bubbas be judgemental all you want as long as you keep on buying.

I dont care if your using your Momma or drunken stepfathers credit card either.