Joke : A tad long but funny

[ScreaM]

A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her
students. The teacher asked, "Harry, what's your problem?"

Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the
3rd
grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade

too!


Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.

While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the
principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he
would
give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was
to
go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.

Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he
agreed
to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"

Harry: "9."

Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"

Harry: "36."

And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader
should
know.

The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, "I think Harry can go
to
the 3rd grade"

Ms. Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions."

The principal and Harry both agreed.

Ms. Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two
of?"

Harry, after a moment: "Legs."

Ms. Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"

The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!

Harry replied: "Pockets."

Ms. Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"

Harry: "Pants."

Ms. Brooks: What starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy, oval,
delicious
and contains thin, whitish liquid?"

Harry: "Coconut."

The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.

Ms. Brooks: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and
sticky?"

The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the
answer,
Harry replied, "Bubble gum."

Ms. Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down
and
a
dog does on three legs?"

Harry: "Shake hands."

The principal was trembling.

Ms. Brooks: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a
lot
of heat and excitement?"

Harry: "Firetruck."

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put
Harry in
the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions WRONG.

[Annie]

lol

[sarettah]

Ms. Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two
of?"

Harry, after a moment: "Legs."

Ms. Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"

The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!

Harry replied: "Pockets."

Ms. Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"

Harry: "Pants."

Ms. Brooks: What starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy, oval,
delicious
and contains thin, whitish liquid?"

Harry: "Coconut."

The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.

Ms. Brooks: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and
sticky?"

The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the
answer,
Harry replied, "Bubble gum."

Ms. Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down
and
a
dog does on three legs?"

Harry: "Shake hands."

The principal was trembling.

Ms. Brooks: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a
lot
of heat and excitement?"

Harry: "Firetruck."

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put
Harry in
the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions WRONG.



Left out the most important question:

Are you a turtle?

:whistling

[ScreaM]

Are you a turtle?

:whistling

Hmm, now what does that mean?

[sarettah]

Hmm, now what does that mean?


Quite simple, Are You a Turtle? Well, huh, are you?

[ScreaM]

Quite simple, Are You a Turtle? Well, huh, are you?

Nope, am a human being (last time I checked).

[sarettah]

Nope, am a human being (last time I checked).



You're right, you're not.

You really should aspire to be a turtle though. The questions asked in your joke are the questions that make up the turtle test. To be a turtle you have to answer all those questions and the last one which is, of course, Are you a turtle?

[ScreaM]

You're right, you're not.

You really should aspire to be a turtle though. The questions asked in your joke are the questions that make up the turtle test. To be a turtle you have to answer all those questions and the last one which is, of course, Are you a turtle?
LMAO no I'm not a turtle.

[sarettah]

LMAO no I'm not a turtle.


Sadly, I have realized that :unsure:

[Rcourt64]

who the fuck wants to be a turtle anyway? :scratchin
The only turtle I know is the one who beat the rabbit in a race.

[sarettah]

Thee are numerous benefits to being a bonafide Turtle. You become part of one of the largest fraternal organizations on the planet. Everywhere you go, from New York to Tanzania, from Moscow to Buenos Aires you know you have friends, you may have never met them but you know they are there just waiting for you anytim you go.


The list of benefits is quite long but I can't go into much detail on them, hush hush you know, members only type stuff.

But, since you guys aren't Turtles and from what I am seeing, sadly, you don't want to be Turtles, I can't tell you.

[sassygirl]

i wanna be a turtle...


what's with the turtle anyway? :scratchin

[sarettah]

i wanna be a turtle...


what's with the turtle anyway? :scratchin

All it takes is answering one question (since you have already seen all the other questions) That questions is: Are you a Turtle?

[softball]

LMAO no I'm not a turtle.

If you bet your sweet ass, you could be.

[sarettah]

If you bet your sweet ass, you could be.

Imagine that. Who wudda thought :yowsa:

[Rcourt64]

Thee are numerous benefits to being a bonafide Turtle. You become part of one of the largest fraternal organizations on the planet. Everywhere you go, from New York to Tanzania, from Moscow to Buenos Aires you know you have friends, you may have never met them but you know they are there just waiting for you anytim you go.


The list of benefits is quite long but I can't go into much detail on them, hush hush you know, members only type stuff.

But, since you guys aren't Turtles and from what I am seeing, sadly, you don't want to be Turtles, I can't tell you.

Sounds like confused mutant turtles to me



http://www.suncomm.com/images/portfolio/Mason-emb.jpg

[sarettah]

Sounds like confused mutant turtles to me



http://www.suncomm.com/images/portfolio/Mason-emb.jpg


Excuuuuuuuuuuusssssssssssssseeeeeeeeee Me.

Those fucking teenage mutant fuckwads are on our hit list.

Turtles go back literally millions of years. Those johnny come lately assholes have caused extreme damage to our rep. We were only too happy to watch them fade away but nooooooooooooo. They have to keep coming back and coming back, like skooby fucking doo.

Motherfuckers

[Rcourt64]

Excuuuuuuuuuuusssssssssssssseeeeeeeeee Me.

Those fucking teenage mutant fuckwads are on our hit list.

Turtles go back literally millions of years. Those johnny come lately assholes have caused extreme damage to our rep. We were only too happy to watch them fade away but nooooooooooooo. They have to keep coming back and coming back, like skooby fucking doo.

Motherfuckers

Once a turtle, always a turtle? Well that symbol as you hate to admit has keeped your asses alive for the past 100 years.
So regardless of your statements, theres a door alway available :)

[softball]

Once a turtle, always a turtle? Well that symbol as you hate to admit has keeped your asses alive for the past 100 years.
So regardless of your statements, theres a door alway available :)
Rcourt, you are leading with your chin, dude. You are out of your depth. Put it to bed, or be punked.

[Rcourt64]

Rcourt, you are leading with your chin, dude. You are out of your depth. Put it to bed, or be punked.

oh boohoo this sounds like a set up here:hmm:

[softball]

oh boohoo this sounds like a set up here:hmm:
No, it is your terminal gullibility that has you boohooing. Damn you are way too easy. Try Medium Pimpin for some joy. They will love you there.

[Rcourt64]

No, it is your terminal gullibility that has you boohooing. Damn you are way too easy. Try Medium Pimpin for some joy. They will love you there.
My testical gut-a-whatable???? :scratchin huh?

[softball]

My testical gut-a-whatable???? :scratchin huh?

wibble (thanks sar)

[Rcourt64]

wibble (thanks sar)

:lmao1: in your dreams

[softball]

:lmao1: in your dreams
Rcourt, what is it you actually do for a living? Not an unfair question since this is a business oriented board. Do you work in the adult industry full time? I need to know if I should actually pay attention to what you say. Because you seem to know very little. Just a little 411 would suffice.

[Rcourt64]

Rcourt, what is it you actually do for a living? Not an unfair question since this is a business oriented board. Do you work in the adult industry full time? I need to know if I should actually pay attention to what you say. Because you seem to know very little. Just a little 411 would suffice.
I thought you knew, I only come to Oprano for the free porn man, come on now, are you that stupid, its easy to figure out :thumbdown

[softball]

I thought you knew, I only come to Oprano for the free porn man, come on now, are you that stupid, its easy to figure out :thumbdown
No idea what it is you do, so I will not bother with your opinion. If you don't want to tell us, then press on regardless and I will continue treating you like a moron like I always do.

[Rcourt64]

No idea what it is you do, so I will not bother with your opinion. If you don't want to tell us, then press on regardless and I will continue treating you like a moron like I always do.

Put I still love you man, even if you have a problem dealing with the opposite sex. I'm here for you rhetorical :okthumb: