gonzo
02-10-2007, 03:08 AM
Does your book need a parental guidance sticker?
"That's a cute question. Actually, I don't think so. It's totally PG. There's no naked pictures, and when there are naked pictures, all the goodies are blocked out."
What do you think people would be most surprised to hear about you?
"I was a school teacher with a master's degree. I taught mentally challenged children. I had a good single out called, 'Freak of the Week.' I've lectured all over the world, including Oxford, England. My mother -- this one's a whopper -- my mother was a spy during World War II. She worked with the OSS which later became the CIA."
What will be in your carry-on?
"The Jeffrey Dahmer lab equipment, bones, human heads. I have to make sure I don't bring more than 3 milliliters of blood or they won't let me bring that on. (Laughs) I like a lot of different sweat pants. I'm really big on T-shirts because they're light and easy to carry, some jewelry, cologne my agent bought me, tampons that I bought him. I'm kidding, I'm kidding. The basic necessities."
If you and your girlfriend hadn't submitted pics to Playgirl, where do you think you'd be right now?
"A principal for some school for mentally challenged children. Either somewhere in the Catskills or on Long Island."
Do you ever second-guess your decision to work your way into acting through the porn industry? Do you think you could have done more mainstream things otherwise?
"You always wonder, 'Would I really have gotten discovered in the theater?' It's a tough choice, but I think I made the right decision. I like what I'm doing. And I see what my friends are doing. Most of them are still doing theater. For free."
You've directed more than 100 porn films as well. Do you prefer directing or acting?
"I'd rather act. We have way less headaches. I have to work 1/10th (as much). As a director, it's a nightmare, because everything's in your control, every detail, the length of the girl's fingernails, the foreplay, the tease."
In your epilogue, you mentioned wanting to settle down and have kids with your now ex-girlfriend Juniper. How is your relationship now?
"We're best of friends right now. We have joint custody of a tortoise right now, Cherry, who was on the 'Surreal Life.' ... Ron gets interrupted and takes a phone call... Sorry about that. That was my friend and director Adam Rifkin. He almost got fired for me. Adam was the one who put me on the TV show for kids, called 'Bone Chillers.' I was a monster, and we went into makeup a half hour early so they'd never catch us. It was a Disney show.
Do you have any plans to retire? "I always say my standard joke, 'I'll retire when I wake up some morning and find my schmeckle under the pillow.'"
Read about his new book (http://pittsburghlive.com/x/pittsburghtrib/news/rss/s_492547.html)
"That's a cute question. Actually, I don't think so. It's totally PG. There's no naked pictures, and when there are naked pictures, all the goodies are blocked out."
What do you think people would be most surprised to hear about you?
"I was a school teacher with a master's degree. I taught mentally challenged children. I had a good single out called, 'Freak of the Week.' I've lectured all over the world, including Oxford, England. My mother -- this one's a whopper -- my mother was a spy during World War II. She worked with the OSS which later became the CIA."
What will be in your carry-on?
"The Jeffrey Dahmer lab equipment, bones, human heads. I have to make sure I don't bring more than 3 milliliters of blood or they won't let me bring that on. (Laughs) I like a lot of different sweat pants. I'm really big on T-shirts because they're light and easy to carry, some jewelry, cologne my agent bought me, tampons that I bought him. I'm kidding, I'm kidding. The basic necessities."
If you and your girlfriend hadn't submitted pics to Playgirl, where do you think you'd be right now?
"A principal for some school for mentally challenged children. Either somewhere in the Catskills or on Long Island."
Do you ever second-guess your decision to work your way into acting through the porn industry? Do you think you could have done more mainstream things otherwise?
"You always wonder, 'Would I really have gotten discovered in the theater?' It's a tough choice, but I think I made the right decision. I like what I'm doing. And I see what my friends are doing. Most of them are still doing theater. For free."
You've directed more than 100 porn films as well. Do you prefer directing or acting?
"I'd rather act. We have way less headaches. I have to work 1/10th (as much). As a director, it's a nightmare, because everything's in your control, every detail, the length of the girl's fingernails, the foreplay, the tease."
In your epilogue, you mentioned wanting to settle down and have kids with your now ex-girlfriend Juniper. How is your relationship now?
"We're best of friends right now. We have joint custody of a tortoise right now, Cherry, who was on the 'Surreal Life.' ... Ron gets interrupted and takes a phone call... Sorry about that. That was my friend and director Adam Rifkin. He almost got fired for me. Adam was the one who put me on the TV show for kids, called 'Bone Chillers.' I was a monster, and we went into makeup a half hour early so they'd never catch us. It was a Disney show.
Do you have any plans to retire? "I always say my standard joke, 'I'll retire when I wake up some morning and find my schmeckle under the pillow.'"
Read about his new book (http://pittsburghlive.com/x/pittsburghtrib/news/rss/s_492547.html)