Hell Puppy
10-21-2006, 04:09 AM
The FFN's get very excited when we discover a new 24 hour eatery. Landmark Diner has been around forever, but it's in Buckhead. We recently noticed that they now have a second location at Roswell Road and 285.
For those not in Atlanta, I should explain that Buckhead means driving into town whereas the new location is on northside right in the center of the perimeter highway....very centrally located.
I knew it was gonna be a good night when I was listening to Faction on the drive over and Bam Magera shared a very useful tip with the audience. For guys with a small dick, if you'll put your thumb on top of it as you slip it in and leave your thumb on there, she'll think it's bigger than it really is.
So we arrive at the new Landmark, which we've dubbed Landmark Jr. First impressions are it's very small, much smaller than any of our other favorite haunts. It was only around 1AM and it wasn't crowded at all. At the time it was just us and a couple. Dont know the girls name, but the guys name is Vinny.
We know Vinny's name because Vinny was SHIT FACED. We're talking tore up. We were entertained thru out the meal as we were wagering whether he was gonna hit the floor. He was passed out and after the waitress and owner were obviously tired of him and wanting him out of there, the girl is calling "Vinny" like he's dog, trying to move him. After a couple of near misses with the floor, some extensive pole hugging and climbing out over the booth next to them instead of going out the correct side, Vinny finally departed.
We would've been pleased with just that bit of entertainment....you see we dont get out much. But there was more! During all of this, two nice ladies entered. Now how do I describe them and be polite? Well, let's just say one of them was...well hell, let's just say I"m a fat ass and admit it....and we can spot our own. The other was more what I'd classify as "chunky". Just big enough to be really curvy and jiggly. We quickly decided GonZo could have the larger of the two, and I wouldn't mind having the other but only if there was not so much as a truck race on TV.
Now, we should describe our waiter. Dude prolly weighed 85 pounds, needed a haircut and had chin whiskers that made his mouth basically look like a strippers pussy. What is it with skinny guys and huge girls? Sure enough he was on our two large flower blossoms like a bear on honey. Dude wasn't on his game at all. He was getting no play at all as they tolerated him at best, but he was really going for it hard. We surmised he was going for the high percentage shots.
We had hoped to confirm that theory when the next two women came in to sit in his area after the first two left. But the next pair that arrived turned out to have been ruinated by Clay Davis. SSssssshhhhheeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiitttt.
And when we were leaving we did sorta get to meet the owner. He's Greek. Imagine that? A Greek guy owning a diner in Atlanta. He also owns a Chrysler 300....not a 300C, a plain 300. I often wondered who would buy the car with a wimpy 6 cylinder and not even bother to get the base hemi. So he had been all over my SRT while it was in the parking lot and despite my best efforts damned near hurdled the counter to get out and talk to me about it when I tried to sneak out without him noticing.
And now for the scoring:
Food Quality: 7/10 -- typical diner fair. desserts were more fresh than "dem cakes" though.
Service: 7/10 -- pussy face kept tea glass full, but his hispanic assistance was over zealous and cleaned our table including all of our drinks, silverware, napkins, etc while we were looking at desserts.
Price: 3/10 -- Same problem as the other landmark. $25 for breakfast.
Entertainment: 9/10 -- no hookers like at the buckhead location, no redneck women falling out of their clothes like dem cakes, and no myspace hookups like at GD, but Vinny and crew kept us well entertained.
For those not in Atlanta, I should explain that Buckhead means driving into town whereas the new location is on northside right in the center of the perimeter highway....very centrally located.
I knew it was gonna be a good night when I was listening to Faction on the drive over and Bam Magera shared a very useful tip with the audience. For guys with a small dick, if you'll put your thumb on top of it as you slip it in and leave your thumb on there, she'll think it's bigger than it really is.
So we arrive at the new Landmark, which we've dubbed Landmark Jr. First impressions are it's very small, much smaller than any of our other favorite haunts. It was only around 1AM and it wasn't crowded at all. At the time it was just us and a couple. Dont know the girls name, but the guys name is Vinny.
We know Vinny's name because Vinny was SHIT FACED. We're talking tore up. We were entertained thru out the meal as we were wagering whether he was gonna hit the floor. He was passed out and after the waitress and owner were obviously tired of him and wanting him out of there, the girl is calling "Vinny" like he's dog, trying to move him. After a couple of near misses with the floor, some extensive pole hugging and climbing out over the booth next to them instead of going out the correct side, Vinny finally departed.
We would've been pleased with just that bit of entertainment....you see we dont get out much. But there was more! During all of this, two nice ladies entered. Now how do I describe them and be polite? Well, let's just say one of them was...well hell, let's just say I"m a fat ass and admit it....and we can spot our own. The other was more what I'd classify as "chunky". Just big enough to be really curvy and jiggly. We quickly decided GonZo could have the larger of the two, and I wouldn't mind having the other but only if there was not so much as a truck race on TV.
Now, we should describe our waiter. Dude prolly weighed 85 pounds, needed a haircut and had chin whiskers that made his mouth basically look like a strippers pussy. What is it with skinny guys and huge girls? Sure enough he was on our two large flower blossoms like a bear on honey. Dude wasn't on his game at all. He was getting no play at all as they tolerated him at best, but he was really going for it hard. We surmised he was going for the high percentage shots.
We had hoped to confirm that theory when the next two women came in to sit in his area after the first two left. But the next pair that arrived turned out to have been ruinated by Clay Davis. SSssssshhhhheeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiitttt.
And when we were leaving we did sorta get to meet the owner. He's Greek. Imagine that? A Greek guy owning a diner in Atlanta. He also owns a Chrysler 300....not a 300C, a plain 300. I often wondered who would buy the car with a wimpy 6 cylinder and not even bother to get the base hemi. So he had been all over my SRT while it was in the parking lot and despite my best efforts damned near hurdled the counter to get out and talk to me about it when I tried to sneak out without him noticing.
And now for the scoring:
Food Quality: 7/10 -- typical diner fair. desserts were more fresh than "dem cakes" though.
Service: 7/10 -- pussy face kept tea glass full, but his hispanic assistance was over zealous and cleaned our table including all of our drinks, silverware, napkins, etc while we were looking at desserts.
Price: 3/10 -- Same problem as the other landmark. $25 for breakfast.
Entertainment: 9/10 -- no hookers like at the buckhead location, no redneck women falling out of their clothes like dem cakes, and no myspace hookups like at GD, but Vinny and crew kept us well entertained.