Winetalk.com
01-11-2006, 08:40 PM
NEWLYWEDS
>
> A couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband,
> although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and
> party with his old buddies.
>
> So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back."
>
> Where are you going, Coochy Coo?" asked the wife.
>
> "I'm going to the bar, Pretty Face. I'm going to have a
> beer."
>
> The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?" She opened the
> door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of
> beer, brands from 12 different countries.
>
> The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that
> he could think of saying was, "Yes, Lollipop... but at the bar... you
> know... they have frozen glasses... "
>
>
> He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted
> him by saying, "You want a frozen glass, Puppy Face?" She
> took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was
> getting chills just holding it.
>
> The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, Tootsie Roll, but at
> the bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious...I
> won't be long. I'll be right back. I promise. OK?"
>
> "You want hors d'oeuvres, Poochie Pooh?" She opened the oven
> and took out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings,
> pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, and pork strips.
>
> "But my sweet honey.. at the bar....you know there's swearing,
> dirty words and all that..."
>
> "You want dirty words, Cutie Pie?.. "LISTEN UP CHICKEN SHIT,
> SIT YOUR ASS DOWN, SHUT THE HELL UP, DRINK YOUR BEER
> IN YOUR FROZEN MUG AND EAT YOUR HORS D'OEUVRES
> BECAUSE YOUR MARRIED ASS ISN'T GOING TO A DAMNED BAR!
> THAT SHIT IS OVER, GOT IT, JACKASS?"
>
>
> ...and, they lived happily ever after.
>
> A couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband,
> although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and
> party with his old buddies.
>
> So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back."
>
> Where are you going, Coochy Coo?" asked the wife.
>
> "I'm going to the bar, Pretty Face. I'm going to have a
> beer."
>
> The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?" She opened the
> door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of
> beer, brands from 12 different countries.
>
> The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that
> he could think of saying was, "Yes, Lollipop... but at the bar... you
> know... they have frozen glasses... "
>
>
> He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted
> him by saying, "You want a frozen glass, Puppy Face?" She
> took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was
> getting chills just holding it.
>
> The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, Tootsie Roll, but at
> the bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious...I
> won't be long. I'll be right back. I promise. OK?"
>
> "You want hors d'oeuvres, Poochie Pooh?" She opened the oven
> and took out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings,
> pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, and pork strips.
>
> "But my sweet honey.. at the bar....you know there's swearing,
> dirty words and all that..."
>
> "You want dirty words, Cutie Pie?.. "LISTEN UP CHICKEN SHIT,
> SIT YOUR ASS DOWN, SHUT THE HELL UP, DRINK YOUR BEER
> IN YOUR FROZEN MUG AND EAT YOUR HORS D'OEUVRES
> BECAUSE YOUR MARRIED ASS ISN'T GOING TO A DAMNED BAR!
> THAT SHIT IS OVER, GOT IT, JACKASS?"
>
>
> ...and, they lived happily ever after.