Where's the dumbest place you ever had sex?

[MorganGrayson]

Mind tends to wander while I'm site building, as I can code in my sleep and often have.

Where's the dumbest place you ever had sex? Not the sexiest, not the most exotic...the place that makes you look back and say "I can't fucking believe I ever did that!"

With me, it was my mother-in-law's bathroom with her in the next room. (It was the pink shag rug that did it for my husband.) I've never been one of those people who got charged up at the thought of "getting caught." (I didn't get that gene.) Especially not by my mother-in-law...who wasn't even my mother-in-law yet.

It was also pretty stupid to think that the woman was just going to think it took the two of us that long to "get dressed" in the bathroom, but she didn't say anything...thank god.

I do imagine there's a line in her will that says "I *was* going to leave you my diamond watch...but you FUCKED IN MY BATHROOM!!" :)

[Trev]

In the ladies bathroom at a local night club. It wasn't the place that was dumb - it was getting caught by the bouncers and having my arse hauled out of the club with my pants round my ankles...

[MorganGrayson]

In the ladies bathroom at a local night club. It wasn't the place that was dumb - it was getting caught by the bouncers and having my arse hauled out of the club with my pants round my ankles...

Actually, the place was pretty dumb. I thought that kind of activity always occured in the *men's* bathroom? (Reasoning being, a woman in the men's bathroom might get a sound talking to...but a man in the ladies' room faces arrest and a lifelong tag as a sex offender, this remarkably stupid planet being what it is.)

I'll cherish the mental image, crumpet. :wub:

[TheEnforcer]

In the ladies bathroom at a local night club. It wasn't the place that was dumb - it was getting caught by the bouncers and having my arse hauled out of the club with my pants round my ankles...

:bustingup :bustingup :bustingup

[TheEnforcer]

Driving down interstate 94 on my way home from LaCrosse several times. :>))

[MorganGrayson]

:bustingup :bustingup :bustingup

In defense of my crumpet...OK, TE, spill it!!! What's *your* story???? :D

[Trev]

Actually, the place was pretty dumb. I thought that kind of activity always occured in the *men's* bathroom? (Reasoning being, a woman in the men's bathroom might get a sound talking to...but a man in the ladies' room faces arrest and a lifelong tag as a sex offender, this remarkably stupid planet being what it is.)

I'll cherish the mental image, crumpet. :wub:
You've never seen the mens bathroom at my local night club... not the place to be having drunken relations. :blink:

[MorganGrayson]

You've never seen the mens bathroom at my local night club... not the place to be having drunken relations. :blink:

Oops. Forgot. One of the more popular kinds of "male bashing" around is that the ladies' room is nice and clean and the men's room should be condemned. Forgot about that.

I've seen one men's room in my entire life. Ah, I just remembered another dumb sex story. Sneaking into the men's dorm at the University of Louisville. That's where I saw the men's room...that being the only kind available.

Seeing my first urinal was actually more of a fun experience than the lousy sex I had that night.

[Winetalk.com]

back seat of a cadi on the way back from Atlantic City. She was a stock broker and that fuck costed me over $50,000 in the next 5 years
;0

[Dravyk]

On the side of a busy interstate. :)

So one time me and the babe I was going out with at the time got horny. And we kinda liked a little "danger sex" or semi-exhibition sex, whatever. Pulled over onto the shoulder, got out, went to the other side of the car, started doing it standing up.

It's when the 18 wheelers whizz by and the car (a heavy one, not a compact) that you're leaning against shakes like an earthquake, and the wind nearly blows you away ... well, it just wasn't very "conducive" ...

Anyway not totally sure if that was dumb, as much as it didn't work as well as we'd thought.

[gigi]

hahaha, some funny stories!

For me it was the door well of a public school....young and stupid...night time, cold cement at my back...and a cop's flashlight shining right in my eyes... :p

[PornoDoggy]

A church.

[Dravyk]

A church.So why was that dumb?

Funny one, Gigi! Bet you made that cop's night. ;)

[MorganGrayson]

Wow.

Dravy...definitely dumb. You could have been killed.

gigi...definitely dumb. You could have been arrested.

Serge...definitely dumb...and expensive.

PornoDoggy...um...yikes!

:blink:

[PornoDoggy]

Busted by minister's daughter with her best friend. Some time later, busted with minister's daughter by a girl in our youth group who told her mommy everything.

[Newton]

On a train going to London in the toilets, not the most roomy of compartments, and luckily she was fairly pliable ;)

[DrGuile]

Busted by minister's daughter with her best friend.

Oh man! Bad Porno music just started playing in my head!

[TheEnforcer]

Wow.

Dravy...definitely dumb. You could have been killed.

gigi...definitely dumb. You could have been arrested.

Serge...definitely dumb...and expensive.

PornoDoggy...um...yikes!

:blink:

You ask, I answer, and then you ignore me! :hmm:

[MorganGrayson]

You ask, I answer, and then you ignore me! :hmm:

Omigosh! I am SO sorry! I missed your post! :(

You're right...that *was* dumb. (It also reminds me of *another* story, so I'm not going to be too hard on you. Geeze, looking back on it, my life wasn't nearly as boring as I'd thought!)

[Dravyk]

You ask, I answer, and then you ignore me! http://oprano.com/msgboard/images/smilies/dry.gifThere, there.http://oprano.com/msgboard/images/smilies/stroke.gif




... Wuss! http://oprano.com/msgboard/images/smilies/tongue.gif

[Nickatilynx]

I'm just amazed Dravyk EVER has sex.....


;-))))

[Dravyk]

I'm just amazed Dravyk EVER has sex.....

;-))))Hah! You lost points for that post. http://oprano.com/msgboard/images/smilies/tongue.gif

[Nickatilynx]

Hah! You lost points for that post. http://oprano.com/msgboard/images/smilies/tongue.gif

Fuck ,I did!!!

Fuck!!!

LOL

[Nickatilynx]

back at ya... :)

[Dravyk]

back at ya... http://oprano.com/msgboard/images/smilies/smile.gifI saw!

Bastard! http://oprano.com/msgboard/images/smilies/soapbox.gif

LOL!!!

[Trev]

I saw!

Bastard! http://oprano.com/msgboard/images/smilies/soapbox.gif

LOL!!!
Kinda cool aint it.. :D

[Nickatilynx]

Dravyk....

You wanna fuck with me!!!!

LOL

Say hello to my little friend...

Technick penalise ( Oeeer! Missus!!!) dravyk please :)

[Nickatilynx]

Dravyk....

You wanna fuck with me!!!!

LOL

Say hello to my little friend...

Technick penalise ( Oeeer! Missus!!!) dravyk please :)

So hard to get competent henchmen these days.....

(sigh)

[Dravyk]

Dravyk....

You wanna fuck with me!!!!

LOL

Say hello to my little friend...

Technick penalise ( Oeeer! Missus!!!) dravyk please http://oprano.com/msgboard/images/smilies/smile.gifHe's not so little!

Technick, get him for that! http://oprano.com/msgboard/images/smilies/smile.gif

[Dravyk]

So hard to get competent henchmen these days.....

(sigh)Maybe if you wore a cape ...

[Trev]

ahahahahaha, seems he'd put himself at 1000000 points, it only takes a second to add a - ;)

[Nickatilynx]

Ha!!!

:)

[Technick]

He's not so little!

Technick, get him for that! http://oprano.com/msgboard/images/smilies/smile.gif


Are you saying I am fat Drav?

[PornoDoggy]

Oh, my ... I forgot about the time in the Navy that Shore Patrol checked out my steamed-up car in a restricted area (picnic area was left, I went right).

The hottie I had picked up in the club turned out to be the wife of the Operations Officer of a squadron on deployment.

[Dravyk]

Are you saying I am fat Drav?Nope. I was complimenting your penis. :D

Gawd, can't win. :(

[Nickatilynx]

Are you saying I am fat Drav?
Oh I so wouldn't stand for that....

prolly some other shit you can fuck with of Dravyks...if you looked around.

:)

SWEET! :)

[Nickatilynx]

Great so you are calling him a big dick now....tsk tsk....

[Nickatilynx]

FUCK OFF NICK YOU FAT CUNT!!! :(

Well thats not nice....at all

:)

[Dravyk]

http://www.dirtygloves.com/screwuguys.gif

[OldJeff]

I guess I have to go with in bed. If I had avoided that first night with my ex wife, the cryptkeeper, I could have avoided a whole lot of misery in my life.

(And it was more expensive than Serge's)

[MorganGrayson]

Thank you, OldJeff and PornoDoggy, for managing to hold onto the topic of this thread while in the midst of...that. Whatever that was. :)

[DannyCox]

WOW! It's hard to think of just one! I really have done so many stupid things for sex!

There was the time I was banging my old girlfriend's cousin, in her cousin's bed, with my girlfriend in the next room. Yes, I did get caught, but that didn't end the relationship. That ended when she caught me banging the same cousin in her car right outside of my girlfriend's house!!

There was also that time when my own cousin was blowing me in the laundry room of her house (I was 14, she was 15), and her father (my uncle) walked in on us. That was a fun time too!

Ah, the memories.....

[MorganGrayson]

WOW! It's hard to think of just one! I really have done so many stupid things for sex!

There was the time I was banging my old girlfriend's cousin, in her cousin's bed, with my girlfriend in the next room. Yes, I did get caught, but that didn't end the relationship. That ended when she caught me banging the same cousin in her car right outside of my girlfriend's house!!

There was also that time when my own cousin was blowing me in the laundry room of her house (I was 14, she was 15), and her father (my uncle) walked in on us. That was a fun time too!

Ah, the memories.....

:blink:

Never have I heard of one man facing so many possible moments of execution...and surviving! Kudos...or something....

[Dravyk]

Danny is Da Man! :beer:

[Red]

There was the blowjob in the back of the bus during a school trip. Years later, I ran into the guy and he reminded me of the incident. My response was "Oh, was that you?"

There was also the time in the woods when I was 17. I got poison ivy on my ass.

Then there was that fraternity party...

Ok, I'll stop now.

[Steady]

At the lake...I was 21 and she was 19. She was recently crowned queen of the city where we both lived. She was awesome, everyone in the town we lived in wanted a to bang her.

Two cops caught us fucking up a storm. :p It was worth getting caught. The cops told us to leave the lake park area.

It was dumb, because I had an apartment. We could have gone there.

[DannyCox]

Danny is Da Man! :beer:

No, Danny used to be really stupid and only thought with his dick! :unsure:

But, Yes, those were the good ol' days! :yowsa:



Carol just reminded me of this one ... There was this time, when Carol and I were still just going out, and we were at a house where Carol was babysitting. The kids were in bed, the parents weren't supposed to be home for hours (and I wasn't even supposed to be there), so we got fully naked in the living room, and started fooling around. The parents walked in as we were fucking on their couch! The real problem was, we started making out and got undressed in the kitchen, and that's where our clothes were.We had to do the walk of shame to get our clothes. Needless to say, carol never babysat for them again :)


We also once got caught by the cops at a drive-in movie (as many people have). The only difference here was we had a threesome going on with a friend of ours! He was doing Carol doggy-style while she gave me head. Even the cops said that was a first for them!

[domtheboy]

In the ladies bathroom at a local night club. It wasn't the place that was dumb - it was getting caught by the bouncers and having my arse hauled out of the club with my pants round my ankles...

When they caught you, did the scream in pure Geoff off Byker Grove fashion:

"Wey-aye, what's gannin on 'ere like ? Ya dorty rascal !"

:yowsa:

[SykkBoy]

On the side of a busy interstate. :)

So one time me and the babe I was going out with at the time got horny. And we kinda liked a little "danger sex" or semi-exhibition sex, whatever. Pulled over onto the shoulder, got out, went to the other side of the car, started doing it standing up.

It's when the 18 wheelers whizz by and the car (a heavy one, not a compact) that you're leaning against shakes like an earthquake, and the wind nearly blows you away ... well, it just wasn't very "conducive" ...

Anyway not totally sure if that was dumb, as much as it didn't work as well as we'd thought.
yeah, that was dumb....she could have gotten caught on something sharp on your car and popped and flew away...

[el pres]

At work, reason it was dumb, carpet burns from the industrial nylon carpet.
My knees were bleeding.

[Sabby]

Sorry boys...

But I DEMAND a nice comfortable environment with all the trimmings...

or no DICE!!!


Sabby:flash:

[ReighlynnRaine]

Dumbest place.... in the car by a wildlife preserve. Dumb because the cops showed up (the look on my pants-less boyfriend when the cop kept the flashlight on him was hysterical) and told us to move along. Seems we were parked where a lot of drug deals happen. Eeep.

[Trev]

When they caught you, did the scream in pure Geoff off Byker Grove fashion:

"Wey-aye, what's gannin on 'ere like ? Ya dorty rascal !"

:yowsa:
Hahahahaha

Something along those lines, with a "We'z ganna kick the fuckin' shite oot a ya oot side bonny lad" :(

[PornoDoggy]

Thank you, OldJeff and PornoDoggy, for managing to hold onto the topic of this thread while in the midst of...that. Whatever that was. :)
That was the boys discovering their toys, of course ...

Seems a lot of us have been caught in our cars ... there was a St. Louis County cop I wanted to invite to my first wedding. This guy must have caught us almost in the act, in the act, or right after the act four or five times in a six month periodl. Yes, we were smart enough to move; he was just damned good at finding us, or he was stalking one of us.

[OldJeff]

WOW! It's hard to think of just one! I really have done so many stupid things for sex!

There was the time I was banging my old girlfriend's cousin, in her cousin's bed, with my girlfriend in the next room. Yes, I did get caught, but that didn't end the relationship. That ended when she caught me banging the same cousin in her car right outside of my girlfriend's house!!

There was also that time when my own cousin was blowing me in the laundry room of her house (I was 14, she was 15), and her father (my uncle) walked in on us. That was a fun time too!

Ah, the memories.....


And all this time I thought West Virginia had the market cornered on fucking your relatives.

[Grump]

Inside the Statue of Liberty, behind some drop cloths under some scafolding in an area where some sort of work was being done. While tours were going on. She was noisy and I never considered the echos inside a hollow metal structure. I should have.

[ReighlynnRaine]

Inside the Statue of Liberty, behind some drop cloths under some scafolding in an area where some sort of work was being done. While tours were going on. She was noisy and I never considered the echos inside a hollow metal structure. I should have.

:bustingup So did you get busted?

[Grump]

Yep,and escorted off the island.

[ReighlynnRaine]

:lol: egads. But at least you have a great story.

[Grump]

Just another historic place to add to the list that we are not allowed back to :)

It was the dumbest in terms of I should have known we'd get caught, not the most risky or fun though. For most risky my vote has to go to the "Heart" at the Franklin Institute in Philly.

Surprisingly we are allowed in there still. LOL!

[ReighlynnRaine]

:lol:

[Bhelliom]

well mine was on my girlfriends couch.... we thought everyone had gone to bed.... turns out her father was just in the washroom... (the couch is VERY visible from the bathroom door when you walk out...

fortunately, he likes to read and take his time in the bathroom. Just barely finished and he walked out.... talk about awkward

[Dravyk]

Just another historic place to add to the list that we are not allowed back to :)

It was the dumbest in terms of I should have known we'd get caught, not the most risky or fun though. For most risky my vote has to go to the "Heart" at the Franklin Institute in Philly.

Surprisingly we are allowed in there still. LOL!You did it in "the heart"? Damn!! :okthumb:

[DannyCox]

And all this time I thought West Virginia had the market cornered on fucking your relatives.

Nope, when you are a young teen with a constant erection, and a hot cousin willing to take care of the problem, your location has nothing to do with it at all. We're all West Virginians at that point ;)

[Dravyk]

Nope, when you are a young teen with a constant erection, and a hot cousin willing to take care of the problem, your location has nothing to do with it at all. We're all West Virginians at that point http://oprano.com/msgboard/images/smilies/wink.gif... Suddenly thinking of "cousins" Ellie May and Daisy Duke for some reason. http://oprano.com/msgboard/images/smilies/wwww.gif

[Nickatilynx]

... Suddenly thinking of "cousins" Ellie May and Daisy Duke for some reason. http://oprano.com/msgboard/images/smilies/wwww.gif

But dude , we all know you'd SETTLE for Cousin It.

ahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahaha


I HAD to!!!

It was just hanging there!!

;-))

[OldJeff]

Nope, when you are a young teen with a constant erection, and a hot cousin willing to take care of the problem, your location has nothing to do with it at all. We're all West Virginians at that point ;)


LMAO

You know Dan, I can not read your name without thinking of smoked meat sandwiches at that diner so many years ago.

[Dravyk]

But dude , we all know you'd SETTLE for Cousin It.

ahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahaha

I HAD to!!!

It was just hanging there!!

;-))LMAO! No problem!! http://oprano.com/msgboard/images/smilies/smile.gif




Btw, I heard you gave up wanking to have sex with "Thing". Is there a difference? http://oprano.com/msgboard/images/smilies/wwww.gif

Ducking and running!

[Nickatilynx]

This thread just reminded me..

Of Steph at Janey.net (my first real host) telling me how much money they made from underwear sales.

So we went bought a load of them.

;-))

LOL

We were thinking of shaving our pubes and putting a pube in the crotch of each pair of "just worn panties" we sent out.

Ah well... LOL

[Nickatilynx]

LMAO! No problem!! http://oprano.com/msgboard/images/smilies/smile.gif




Btw, I heard you gave up wanking to have sex with "Thing". Is there a difference? http://oprano.com/msgboard/images/smilies/wwww.gif

Ducking and running!

Its not bad.

But it would never stop a total wanker like you from being one :)

[Dravyk]

We were thinking of shaving our pubes and putting a pube in the crotch of each pair of "just worn panties" we sent out.Ewwwwwww! http://oprano.com/msgboard/images/smilies/doublepuke1.gif

I think the only way to get that mental image out my head is to go drinking tonight! Thanks, Nick! :hic:

[Dravyk]

Its not bad.

But it would never stop a total wanker like you from being one :)Well then I have to hand it to you. :D

[DrGuile]

Saskatoon

[DannyCox]

You know Dan, I can not read your name without thinking of smoked meat sandwiches at that diner so many years ago.

Damn! That was back in 1999, I believe. I can't even remember where we went, whether it was Ben's or Shwartz's! Stan and Billy were with us, as I think it was Stan who was bugging me to try that smoked meat stuff.

[Sin]

I lost my virginity in my parents living room, with my mum & dad in their room less than 50 feet away with the door open.

Other than that probably the dumbest place I had sex would be at my other workplace, once in the back with the wine & I gave the same person a blowjob in the fermenting room with the beer :D He wanted to eat me out in the cooler in the dark but I am not fond of the cold... lol

[Trev]

I lost my virginity in my parents living room, with my mum & dad in their room less than 50 feet away with the door open.

Other than that probably the dumbest place I had sex would be at my other workplace, once in the back with the wine & I gave the same person a blowjob in the fermenting room with the beer :D He wanted to eat me out in the cooler in the dark but I am not fond of the cold... lol
Where do you live again :yowsa:

[MorganGrayson]

Saskatoon

Gosh, that's fun to say. :)

I gather it's not a lot of fun to be there, but it sure is fun to say.

[ReighlynnRaine]

Gosh, that's fun to say. :)

I gather it's not a lot of fun to be there, but it sure is fun to say.

Say it three times fast...

[Dr. Elle]

On the side of a busy interstate. :)

So one time me and the babe I was going out with at the time got horny. And we kinda liked a little "danger sex" or semi-exhibition sex, whatever. Pulled over onto the shoulder, got out, went to the other side of the car, started doing it standing up.

It's when the 18 wheelers whizz by and the car (a heavy one, not a compact) that you're leaning against shakes like an earthquake, and the wind nearly blows you away ... well, it just wasn't very "conducive" ...

Anyway not totally sure if that was dumb, as much as it didn't work as well as we'd thought.

Those things only work out well in films. Reality somehow manages to weasel it's way in when we attempt to act out fantasy.

[Dr. Elle]

There was the blowjob in the back of the bus during a school trip. Years later, I ran into the guy and he reminded me of the incident. My response was "Oh, was that you?"

There was also the time in the woods when I was 17. I got poison ivy on my ass.

Then there was that fraternity party...

Ok, I'll stop now.

Now I see why you are the resident trollop. You're obviously a tramp from way back. My kind of girl. :)

[Dravyk]

Those things only work out well in films. Reality somehow manages to weasel it's way in when we attempt to act out fantasy.In reality, sex is nosier and more gooey as well. :unsure:

[Dr. Elle]

In reality, sex is nosier and more gooey as well. :unsure:

If you're doing it right. ;)

[MorganGrayson]

In reality, sex is nosier and more gooey as well. :unsure:

I'm going to assume you meant "noisier" here, Dravyk. :p
(A little help getting the "gooey nose" out of my head would be appreciated.)

Sometimes I think one of the worst mistakes a person can make is attempting to live out a fantasy. It will never work as well as it does in one's head...and the price paid is the loss of the fantasy. I think that's too high a price to be paid.

I have my fantasies categorized in my head. "Things I'd like to do" and "things I just amuse myself thinking about."

I'm never going to ride off on the back of a Harley and have glorious sex with a young stud biker who smells like engines and leather. I've faced that. I dont' even really want to...I just want to think about it occasionally.

[Red]

I'm going to assume you meant "noisier" here, Dravyk. :p
(A little help getting the "gooey nose" out of my head would be appreciated.)

Sometimes I think one of the worst mistakes a person can make is attempting to live out a fantasy. It will never work as well as it does in one's head...and the price paid is the loss of the fantasy. I think that's too high a price to be paid.

I have my fantasies categorized in my head. "Things I'd like to do" and "things I just amuse myself thinking about."

I'm never going to ride off on the back of a Harley and have glorious sex with a young stud biker who smells like engines and leather. I've faced that. I dont' even really want to...I just want to think about it occasionally.


I know what you mean. Fantasy never takes into account, the "Ow, you're on my hair" or "shit, I've got a cramp in my leg, we have to change positions." :)

[PornoDoggy]

so ... we have established that Morgan is not into the nose niche.

[Dravyk]

I'm going to assume you meant "noisier" here, Dravyk. http://oprano.com/msgboard/images/smilies/tongue.gif LOL! It was 3am and I was drunk / hungover. What can I tell ya? http://oprano.com/msgboard/images/smilies/smile.gif

[Dravyk]

so ... we have established that Morgan is not into the nose niche.That anything like a nasal cavity? :D

[Queen Bitch]

With some blindingly white wm...oh wait, you said PLACE :)

In the front seat of my 1977 Honda Civic with my bf...we hadn't noticed that we were blocking his driveway and his father came home and put the brights on us...guess who was on top? Oops.

I was 22 then, so I guess I was even dumber than I am now.

Jon, how are you, sir? Had any more favorite children lately? :)

Morgan, CYE

Anyone hear from AI, Serge, etc?

I was showing my fiance old pics from an IA and got nostalgic..almost spit my drink onto the monitor when I saw old Morganus Rex came back to life!

Hugs to all of you! (Well, almost all of you lol).

Heather

[grimm]

lexington, kentucky. no contest.

[MorganGrayson]

lexington, kentucky. no contest.

You got it up in Lexington?!?!?!?!?!? You are my hero!!!!! :wnw:
(I lived in Kentucky for 15 years. Trust me, having a sexual thought there requires concentration.)

Hey, heather! Yeppers. I re-entered this odd business in July of this year. I think I'm working on my fourth or fifth career in this business. I'm not sure.

[Stacey_JoinRightNow]

on the grass... yeeooooww... i cant take the stones and soil on my skun... itchy!

[Funbrunette]

In the damn woods... My bum was itchy for days! :hmm: