sarettah
09-27-2005, 05:15 PM
and prostitute penguins and porn loving monkeys... All in one editorial :okthumb:
http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/common/story_page/0,5744,16743061%255E12274,00.html
Man, it's a strange new world in women's affairs
September 28, 2005
NEWS has just broken that there's a bloke in charge of the downsized Office for Women in NSW. According to the Sydney press, Peter Connelly's sole qualification for the job is that he's the acting executive director of the Premier's Department's division of performance measurement and review (apparently a very womanly position).
Chick groups are predictably outraged, squealing that this is the first time such a travesty has occurred in Australia. They say NSW is following a dangerous trend that has seen women's policy advice units downgraded federally, as well as in Victoria and Queensland.
What these man-hating shriekbots need to remember, however, is that male politicians and bureaucrats are completely capable of looking out for women's interests all on their own.
It's true that Australian chaps don't know exactly what it's like to be an Australian chick. Australian chaps aren't ruled by a federal parliament containing only 25 per cent of their brethren and don't earn an average of only 71 per cent of the wages of the alpha sex.
Most probably they even made it through last weekend without being asked by beered-up Sydney Swans supporters to lift their T-shirts and expose their "puppies".
But this doesn't mean our male leaders haven't clocked up plenty of experience with women and aren't acutely aware of their special needs. Many, for instance, have had meals cooked, children reared and houses cleaned by women. Some may have even read about ladyfolk in books or in dental waiting room magazines.
That's why Australia's male politicians have been able to show such superlative sensitivity to the feminine psyche by reducing benefits for single mums, instituting tax and family policies to discourage married mothers from working and restricting abortion. (Women, after all, have a tendency towards depravity and he-pollies must do all they can to cattle-prod them back to the path of righteous purity.)
Men in power overseas are also doing an excellent job of standing up for their female charges. We all know about the fine work being performed by men in hardline Islamic countries to help protect women from their baser selves via full body costumes, restrictions on voting and executions bystoning.
But there are also less celebrated examples. In Malaysia, for instance, attractive women have been banned from applying for jobs in government departments to encourage the finding of richhusbands. Malaysian Airlines has also shown a finely tuned appreciation of thework-life balance by sacking female trolley dollies at 40. (It's believed such women have domestic problems that will affect their performance.)
In Japan, male restaurant owners help women by offering them jobs as human plates. In Italy, male judges help women by ruling that it's impossible for them to be raped if they are wearing jeans.
In Swaziland, the male king helps topless teenage virgin dancers by choosing one a year to become yet another of his wives.
Ah yes, men in power have done plenty for women. If we know what's good for us, we'll just lie back and think of England or maybe of Switzerland, where the male president of FIFA has helped women's soccer by suggesting female players wear tighter, skimpier, more feminine clothes, "like they do in volleyball".
Perhaps if the situation is reversed and women rule the world, we can return these favours with interest. In the meantime, those of us who wish to become movers and shakers in NSW women's policy know what we have to do: spend time in a department's division of performance measurement and review, and procure a penis.
* Postscript: There has been a dramatic development in last week's story about New York's gay chinstrap penguins, Roy and Silo. The word on the street is that the pair's six-year love affair ended when Scrappy, a new female penguin, moved in and stole Silo's heart. Central Park Zoo's other two queer penguin couples are still going strong.
Readers interested in learning more about sexual exuberance in the animal kingdom may like to visit http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/60302.stm (about penguins who exchange sex for rocks) and http://observer.guardian.co.uk/uk--news/story/0,6903,1411794,00.html (which reveals porn-loving monkeys are prepared to pay to look at photographs of each other's bottoms). Enjoy.
http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/common/story_page/0,5744,16743061%255E12274,00.html
Man, it's a strange new world in women's affairs
September 28, 2005
NEWS has just broken that there's a bloke in charge of the downsized Office for Women in NSW. According to the Sydney press, Peter Connelly's sole qualification for the job is that he's the acting executive director of the Premier's Department's division of performance measurement and review (apparently a very womanly position).
Chick groups are predictably outraged, squealing that this is the first time such a travesty has occurred in Australia. They say NSW is following a dangerous trend that has seen women's policy advice units downgraded federally, as well as in Victoria and Queensland.
What these man-hating shriekbots need to remember, however, is that male politicians and bureaucrats are completely capable of looking out for women's interests all on their own.
It's true that Australian chaps don't know exactly what it's like to be an Australian chick. Australian chaps aren't ruled by a federal parliament containing only 25 per cent of their brethren and don't earn an average of only 71 per cent of the wages of the alpha sex.
Most probably they even made it through last weekend without being asked by beered-up Sydney Swans supporters to lift their T-shirts and expose their "puppies".
But this doesn't mean our male leaders haven't clocked up plenty of experience with women and aren't acutely aware of their special needs. Many, for instance, have had meals cooked, children reared and houses cleaned by women. Some may have even read about ladyfolk in books or in dental waiting room magazines.
That's why Australia's male politicians have been able to show such superlative sensitivity to the feminine psyche by reducing benefits for single mums, instituting tax and family policies to discourage married mothers from working and restricting abortion. (Women, after all, have a tendency towards depravity and he-pollies must do all they can to cattle-prod them back to the path of righteous purity.)
Men in power overseas are also doing an excellent job of standing up for their female charges. We all know about the fine work being performed by men in hardline Islamic countries to help protect women from their baser selves via full body costumes, restrictions on voting and executions bystoning.
But there are also less celebrated examples. In Malaysia, for instance, attractive women have been banned from applying for jobs in government departments to encourage the finding of richhusbands. Malaysian Airlines has also shown a finely tuned appreciation of thework-life balance by sacking female trolley dollies at 40. (It's believed such women have domestic problems that will affect their performance.)
In Japan, male restaurant owners help women by offering them jobs as human plates. In Italy, male judges help women by ruling that it's impossible for them to be raped if they are wearing jeans.
In Swaziland, the male king helps topless teenage virgin dancers by choosing one a year to become yet another of his wives.
Ah yes, men in power have done plenty for women. If we know what's good for us, we'll just lie back and think of England or maybe of Switzerland, where the male president of FIFA has helped women's soccer by suggesting female players wear tighter, skimpier, more feminine clothes, "like they do in volleyball".
Perhaps if the situation is reversed and women rule the world, we can return these favours with interest. In the meantime, those of us who wish to become movers and shakers in NSW women's policy know what we have to do: spend time in a department's division of performance measurement and review, and procure a penis.
* Postscript: There has been a dramatic development in last week's story about New York's gay chinstrap penguins, Roy and Silo. The word on the street is that the pair's six-year love affair ended when Scrappy, a new female penguin, moved in and stole Silo's heart. Central Park Zoo's other two queer penguin couples are still going strong.
Readers interested in learning more about sexual exuberance in the animal kingdom may like to visit http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/60302.stm (about penguins who exchange sex for rocks) and http://observer.guardian.co.uk/uk--news/story/0,6903,1411794,00.html (which reveals porn-loving monkeys are prepared to pay to look at photographs of each other's bottoms). Enjoy.