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View Full Version : My Grandma is a hoarder/pack rat


MissEve
04-17-2005, 04:24 AM
I've been trying to explain her house to KC for years and I finally got some pics. Its very sad but she refuses treatment or help. My grandfather is still married to her but moved out because he couldnt stand it. She started out as a beautiful woman and this is what her life has come to:

http://www.monkeylinks.com/grandma/images/aarosalie.jpg

http://www.monkeylinks.com/grandma/grandma.jpg

The rest are here: http://www.monkeylinks.com/grandma/

Trev
04-17-2005, 04:28 AM
Whoa!!!


How the hell does she get from one side of the room to the other :blink:


I bet she's always losing her car keys lol :lol:

MissEve
04-17-2005, 04:32 AM
Originally posted by Trev@Apr 17 2005, 03:29 AM
Whoa!!!


How the hell does she get from one side of the room to the other :blink:


I bet she's always losing her car keys lol :lol:
She has very narrow pathways, I didnt do a very good job documenting those! I have NO idea how she finds anything or gets through the day. She can no longer sleep on the beds so she sleeps in that shitty recliner. If you look at the pics of the recliner she has her reading glasses and remote which I thought was nuts since I lose the remote in my fairly clean house all the time :)

http://www.monkeylinks.com/grandma/images/DP1010071.jpg

Trev
04-17-2005, 04:38 AM
Man thats crazy :lol:

What is it with old people and hoarding? Toni's grandmother is the same, not a window ledge that isn't piled full of junk. Plus she goes into thrift shops looking for bargains... like she needs anymore junk :blink:

:)

Peaches
04-17-2005, 09:10 AM
OMG, I have just seen my future! I am the same way. I save EVERYTHING. My parents are the same too. They have a huge garage filled with stuff as well as a master bedroom that can't be used for anything but storage. I asked my Dad once if I should spend time going through it all when he died: "No, just toss it all.". I had to get a storage room a few years ago because I ran out of room in the house.

Many things are dishes, sheets, appliances, etc. that I was saving for John when he got a place of his own. I will be making a LOT of trips to the local charity store in the next year.

Dravyk
04-17-2005, 09:19 AM
My Aunt Ann was exactly the same way. Tons of stuff everywhere and narrow paths! Couldn't sit anywhere in her house. Plus she had five cats!

People like this need help, unfortunately they are also the most stubborn people on earth. As in can't dynamite them out of the house stubborn. Mention seeing a doctor or going to a hospital, and they will fight it tooth and nail. And win. Because they feel something will happen to their "stuff" if they're not there to protect it (and they're usually right about that too!)

Why do they do this? I haven't read up on any of this, but from my old experiences with my now departed aunt for many many years, I've come up with something .... My personal theory is that they think the more they possess that it will stop them from dying. No, seriously, like the more earthly possessions they have, it's more of an anchor of some sort. Or the more stuff they have, the more they are connected "here" and can't "go away".

Peaches
04-17-2005, 09:21 AM
I keep everything because of the few (and I do mean FEW) instances where I've needed something and I knew I had it in a box somewhere.

Case in point: 10+ years ago I bought an apple peeler/corer. Used it once or twice and put it in a box. Now that I make apple pies several times a year during apple season, it would come in VERY handy.....if only I could figure out what box it's in..... :unsure:

Dravyk
04-17-2005, 09:32 AM
Peaches, gotta admit, I have to fight that instinct as well. Having seen how much my stepfather Dave had, the house is still filled with crap he never got rid of, no matter how much throwing-out has been done in the years since he died.

But seeing the stuff he's kept, Mom has kept, how my aunt was ... it's just not worth it. I think the same way, or used to. Hey, never know when I might need XYZ, better keep it. Either you don't ever need it, or, like the apple corer, yeah, eventually you do ... think is, that's one item out of probably a few hundred things kept. Easier to just buy a new one ten years down the road and not keep everything else.

My stepdad kept everything. If a blender broke, he'd not just replace it, he'd keep the old one with the thinking "if the new one breaks, I can take pieces off the old one" to fix it. What would actually happen is, eventually the new one would break, the latest "new" one becomes the "newest old one", and he'd have five old broken blenders in the basement.

Becki
04-17-2005, 09:39 AM
I must suffer from OCD because I just can't stand for anything to be out of place.

I just couldn't go in to your Grandmothers house because I would freak out and start cleaning up and throwing things out :blink:

Peaches
04-17-2005, 09:49 AM
I guess this would be a bad time to admit I still have shoes and clothes from when I was in HS - and that was a LOOOOONG time ago. :(

My grandmother on my Dad's side was a packrat too, especially books. They had one entire wall of their garage, top to bottom, with each shelf 2-3 deep in books. Plus even more in the rest of the house. At least I know I come by it honestly :)

VooMan
04-17-2005, 09:56 AM
My family calls me the "Anti Stuff." I can't stand clutter... They're always looking to get rid of their "stuff" by asking me if I want it. heh... nope. :)

sarettah
04-17-2005, 10:48 AM
If you can live without it for 3 days, you don't need it (Scott Nearing)

I tend to save stuff up throughout the year but at least once a year I go back through and chuck anything that I haven't touched for a while (with the exception of thos sentimental items like the kids art work from when they were little)

Vick
04-17-2005, 10:54 AM
If you notice this often happens with people who were children during the depression or their children.
While my grandparent's house isn't near that bad (I had to stop after 15 pics) it seems the children of the depression are more prone to never throw anything away for fear they may near it some day


this pop psychology babble has been brought to you by today's second cup of espresso

Winetalk.com
04-17-2005, 10:59 AM
you can laugh your hearts out, but this woman will survive:
next Y2K bug,
Tsunami,
nuclear war,
etc,
etc,
etc...

May I have her address just in case?
;)

does she have a wine cellar? If she does, there are probably a few hunders thousand$ sitting there
;)

Trev
04-17-2005, 11:27 AM
Originally posted by Vick@Apr 17 2005, 03:55 PM
If you notice this often happens with people who were children during the depression or their children.
While my grandparent's house isn't near that bad (I had to stop after 15 pics) it seems the children of the depression are more prone to never throw anything away for fear they may near it some day


this pop psychology babble has been brought to you by today's second cup of espresso
Hoard so you never have to go without again, I can see how that works :)

Nickatilynx
04-17-2005, 01:42 PM
My double garage is full to the rafters with , old kids clothes , old clothes of mine (I might one day have a 30in waist again and fit in them , can't throw them out.)..etc etc

But DAMN was she hot as a young woman.

Errr betcha KC is a little nervous LOL

MissEve
04-17-2005, 03:35 PM
Originally posted by Dravyk@Apr 17 2005, 08:20 AM
My Aunt Ann was exactly the same way. Tons of stuff everywhere and narrow paths! Couldn't sit anywhere in her house. Plus she had five cats!

People like this need help, unfortunately they are also the most stubborn people on earth. As in can't dynamite them out of the house stubborn. Mention seeing a doctor or going to a hospital, and they will fight it tooth and nail. And win. Because they feel something will happen to their "stuff" if they're not there to protect it (and they're usually right about that too!)

Why do they do this? I haven't read up on any of this, but from my old experiences with my now departed aunt for many many years, I've come up with something .... My personal theory is that they think the more they possess that it will stop them from dying. No, seriously, like the more earthly possessions they have, it's more of an anchor of some sort. Or the more stuff they have, the more they are connected "here" and can't "go away".
She is incredibly stubborn. The whole family has tried to convince her to get help but she never will. If you try and throw stuff away she will have a screaming fit like a wounded animal. If you throw stuff away while she is gone she will just fill it back up again in no time.

Hoarders respond well to drug therapy but she would never do it. My grandfather was a very handsome, famous pilot in Alaska and a complete womanizer and egomaniac. They had four kids and she was left at home while he slept with stewerdesses all over the world. I think she slowly went crazy and for whatever reason feels comforted by surrounding herself with junk.

She also stashes cash all over the house in books, cereal boxes etc. It will be a nightmare going through all that stuff when she dies.

Trev
04-17-2005, 03:40 PM
Originally posted by MissEve+Apr 17 2005, 08:36 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (MissEve @ Apr 17 2005, 08:36 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-Dravyk@Apr 17 2005, 08:20 AM
My Aunt Ann was exactly the same way. Tons of stuff everywhere and narrow paths! Couldn't sit anywhere in her house. Plus she had five cats!

People like this need help, unfortunately they are also the most stubborn people on earth. As in can't dynamite them out of the house stubborn. Mention seeing a doctor or going to a hospital, and they will fight it tooth and nail. And win. Because they feel something will happen to their "stuff" if they're not there to protect it (and they're usually right about that too!)

Why do they do this? I haven't read up on any of this, but from my old experiences with my now departed aunt for many many years, I've come up with something .... My personal theory is that they think the more they possess that it will stop them from dying. No, seriously, like the more earthly possessions they have, it's more of an anchor of some sort. Or the more stuff they have, the more they are connected "here" and can't "go away".
She is incredibly stubborn. The whole family has tried to convince her to get help but she never will. If you try and throw stuff away she will have a screaming fit like a wounded animal. If you throw stuff away while she is gone she will just fill it back up again in no time.

Hoarders respond well to drug therapy but she would never do it. My grandfather was a very handsome, famous pilot in Alaska and a complete womanizer and egomaniac. They had four kids and she was left at home while he slept with stewerdesses all over the world. I think she slowly went crazy and for whatever reason feels comforted by surrounding herself with junk.

She also stashes cash all over the house in books, cereal boxes etc. It will be a nightmare going through all that stuff when she dies. [/b][/quote]
Why wait :groucho:


:)

Nickatilynx
04-17-2005, 03:42 PM
"""Hoarders respond well to drug therapy but she would never do it. My grandfather was a very handsome, famous pilot in Alaska and a complete womanizer and egomaniac. They had four kids and she was left at home while he slept with stewerdesses all over the world. I think she slowly went crazy and for whatever reason feels comforted by surrounding herself with junk. """"

No playing the blame game...


;-)))

Nickatilynx
04-17-2005, 03:43 PM
Originally posted by Trev+Apr 17 2005, 11:41 AM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Trev @ Apr 17 2005, 11:41 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> Originally posted by MissEve@Apr 17 2005, 08:36 PM
<!--QuoteBegin-Dravyk@Apr 17 2005, 08:20 AM
My Aunt Ann was exactly the same way. Tons of stuff everywhere and narrow paths! Couldn't sit anywhere in her house. Plus she had five cats!

People like this need help, unfortunately they are also the most stubborn people on earth. As in can't dynamite them out of the house stubborn. Mention seeing a doctor or going to a hospital, and they will fight it tooth and nail. And win. Because they feel something will happen to their "stuff" if they're not there to protect it (and they're usually right about that too!)

Why do they do this? I haven't read up on any of this, but from my old experiences with my now departed aunt for many many years, I've come up with something .... My personal theory is that they think the more they possess that it will stop them from dying. No, seriously, like the more earthly possessions they have, it's more of an anchor of some sort. Or the more stuff they have, the more they are connected "here" and can't "go away".
She is incredibly stubborn. The whole family has tried to convince her to get help but she never will. If you try and throw stuff away she will have a screaming fit like a wounded animal. If you throw stuff away while she is gone she will just fill it back up again in no time.

Hoarders respond well to drug therapy but she would never do it. My grandfather was a very handsome, famous pilot in Alaska and a complete womanizer and egomaniac. They had four kids and she was left at home while he slept with stewerdesses all over the world. I think she slowly went crazy and for whatever reason feels comforted by surrounding herself with junk.

She also stashes cash all over the house in books, cereal boxes etc. It will be a nightmare going through all that stuff when she dies.
Why wait :groucho:


:) [/b][/quote]
We need a "makes me proud" emoticon. LOL

Toni
04-17-2005, 04:14 PM
Proud smilie: http://www.goldismoney.info/forums/images/smilies/proud.gif

Armstrong
04-17-2005, 06:53 PM
She was a very Beautiful lady indeed :)


It's strange how it goes, as I remember my grandparents where ok till my my father died then they both went a little strange. I don't get back much to see them as much as I should but my sister said the house is loaded floor to roof now.

cj
04-17-2005, 08:38 PM
but the most important question hasn't yet been asked ....

IS SHE HURTING ANYONE?!

really, in the grander scheme of life, who cares if she hoards stuff ...... just hope you aren't the one who has to clean it when she goes!!

I wonder what our grandkids will be saying about us when we get to that age ...

Hopefully none of my family tries to medicate me because they disagree with how I live ...

Nickatilynx
04-17-2005, 08:54 PM
"""""I wonder what our grandkids will be saying about us when we get to that age ..."""""

Here's what I think my Grandkids will be saying...

""""""""""""""" What a great guy Grandad was.Look at all these old Internet veterans that turned up for his funeral. He died with a lot of friends.

I mean he left 400m to each of us. Thks God he didn't get involved in the TGP business but stuck to just garnering quality traffic.

What a tragic way for the old dude to die though , 137 years old and killed by the deranged father of those twin sisters.Seems the father lost it cause he caught Grandad ass fucking them both.

He couldn't have even been doing that if he hadn't ,in 2025, bestow a billion Euros on that hospital that was researching into "having a second dick".

Mind you he made 5 times that by that classic "You too can have two dicks!! Double your pleasure , double your fun" spam that he sent out out 2030.


Great fucking guy.

Remember the stories he told of him and these other founders of the internet flying in to piss on some guy they called "The Weasels" Grave , They said The Weasel died in abject poverty without a friend in the world , how he laughed when he heard that.........."""""


;-))))

cj
04-17-2005, 10:17 PM
you put WAY too much thought into that answer!!!!!!!!!!


:biglaugh:

Hell Puppy
04-17-2005, 10:37 PM
Originally posted by MissEve+Apr 17 2005, 03:33 AM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (MissEve @ Apr 17 2005, 03:33 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-Trev@Apr 17 2005, 03:29 AM
Whoa!!!


How the hell does she get from one side of the room to the other :blink:


I bet she's always losing her car keys lol :lol:
She has very narrow pathways, I didnt do a very good job documenting those! I have NO idea how she finds anything or gets through the day. She can no longer sleep on the beds so she sleeps in that shitty recliner. If you look at the pics of the recliner she has her reading glasses and remote which I thought was nuts since I lose the remote in my fairly clean house all the time :)

http://www.monkeylinks.com/grandma/images/DP1010071.jpg [/b][/quote]
Ok, I'm suddenly feeling MUCH better about the state of my office....

However, what is scaring me about this pic, is the roll of toilet paper....

Nickatilynx
04-17-2005, 10:51 PM
ahahahahaha

HP , I came downstairs yesterday to find the whole areas cable was out , so not being able to get online , I tidyed my office.

Even dusted the furniture ..the lot.

But I still have a toll of toilet paper on one of my shelves for some reason LOL

Maybe its just standard.

Peaches
04-17-2005, 10:52 PM
Originally posted by Hell Puppy@Apr 17 2005, 10:38 PM
However, what is scaring me about this pic, is the roll of toilet paper....
There are two rolls - we girls always have a back up roll!!

Hell Puppy
04-17-2005, 10:54 PM
Originally posted by Peaches+Apr 17 2005, 09:53 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Peaches @ Apr 17 2005, 09:53 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-Hell Puppy@Apr 17 2005, 10:38 PM
However, what is scaring me about this pic, is the roll of toilet paper....
There are two rolls - we girls always have a back up roll!! [/b][/quote]
I dont wanna know what's in the trash can then.

I know I sometimes piss off of the porch cuz it's closer than going up stairs, but us guys just shake it off, we dont dab....

iknowalttl
04-18-2005, 12:04 AM
Originally posted by cj@Apr 17 2005, 07:39 PM
but the most important question hasn't yet been asked ....

IS SHE HURTING ANYONE?!

really, in the grander scheme of life, who cares if she hoards stuff ...... just hope you aren't the one who has to clean it when she goes!!

I wonder what our grandkids will be saying about us when we get to that age ...

Hopefully none of my family tries to medicate me because they disagree with how I live ...
I have a mom that is that way... not quite as bad but she can't throw anything away... I was over there looking around a bit and noticed all kinds of out of date foods. I must have thrown away six or seven bags full of groceries... all out of date... from the fridge, from the pantry... all kinds of stuff. She has an obsession of running out of food. I would say if was due to growing up in the depression times also. I think it rubs off a bit to cause I have stuff I know I don't need or will use but I can't seem to give or throw it away and it's not worth the effort to sell for what I could get from it. Besides, most people wouldn't want it if I gave it away anyway. Like a 41 year old having leftover clothes from HS days... There has been a few times I knew I had something but it was easier to go buy a new one then to find the old one I had stashed away somewhere... I think it was a door handle set for the shed the last time... looked for over two and a half hours with with no luck... took a twenty minute trip to the store and got one for twelve bucks.

But who is she hurting?.... with the exception of the food, probally no one... Somebody should check up on if her food is up to date... I took things out of my moms fridge that was over a year old and stuff from her freezer that she had bought "reduced for quick sale" over five years old.

MissEve
04-18-2005, 02:35 AM
Originally posted by cj@Apr 17 2005, 07:39 PM
but the most important question hasn't yet been asked ....

IS SHE HURTING ANYONE?!

really, in the grander scheme of life, who cares if she hoards stuff ...... just hope you aren't the one who has to clean it when she goes!!

I wonder what our grandkids will be saying about us when we get to that age ...

Hopefully none of my family tries to medicate me because they disagree with how I live ...

She hurts herself and her family members living this way. Her mental illness makes it very difficult for her family to maintain a relationship with her. Her hoarding is only one of the ways it manifests itself. Her grandkids, who she loves, are not allowed at her house because its unsafe. She has a big dog that can only curl up on the area beneath her chair if the footrest is up. Her husband who is nearly blind and in bad health had to move out of his own house because it he kept tripping over garbage she would leave around. He just had surgery to remove some cancer and he cannot go home and have his wife take care of him. The charred cabinets you see are from her setting them on fire while cooking with papers and shit piled up around the stove. Its not as if we all just think she is eccentric and needs meds, she is SICK and needs meds.

PornoDoggy
04-18-2005, 03:11 AM
Originally posted by cj@Apr 17 2005, 07:39 PM
but the most important question hasn't yet been asked ....

IS SHE HURTING ANYONE?!

really, in the grander scheme of life, who cares if she hoards stuff ...... just hope you aren't the one who has to clean it when she goes!!

I wonder what our grandkids will be saying about us when we get to that age ...

Hopefully none of my family tries to medicate me because they disagree with how I live ...
CJ ... there's a real difference between eccentric and mentally ill. The problem is that it's sometimes a real thin line.

My grandmother got like that before she died. She was living on Social Security, a small pension from her work in a munitions plant during WWII and the Korean War, and what I could spare. I had to start handling her checkbook after I discovered that 80% of her income was being mailed off to various & sundry televanglists, while living on sugar cookies. We had to move her in with my cousin when we found evidence of a fire that she had managed to put out before it spread.

DaddysGirl
04-18-2005, 10:20 AM
my mom is the same way, although not as bad, she still wants to hold onto everything....

my theory is because when they were growing up, they didnt have much and so they are so afraid of not having again that they cling to every possesion they can...or at least, this is the case with my mom...

I argue with my mom about weekly....sucks but I can feel your pain.

Dravyk
04-18-2005, 01:57 PM
Originally posted by cj@Apr 17 2005, 07:39 PM
but the most important question hasn't yet been asked ....

IS SHE HURTING ANYONE?!
Miss Eve and PD both already answered that question very well. Obviously people who haven't had to go through the experience really haven't a clue as to how bad it can get.

After my aunt died, cleaning up the place relatives found a dead cat, well the skeleton of one, under a dresser. What kind of disease must have been there, and smell, during the decay process? (Maybe that's part of the harm that's being overlooked, huh?)

Apparently she also had something like $30 grand stashed around the place in different bundles of a few hundred to to a few thousand too. That was three years after she was forced to get medical treatment, because people like this also won't call a doctor or an ambulance no matter what.