Thanksgiving Tip

[PornoDoggy]

Do not put your envelope underneath a half-ton of garbage in a closed dump on Thanksgiving Day.

[sarettah]

Originally posted by PornoDoggy@Nov 25 2004, 01:54 PM
Do not put your envelope underneath a half-ton of garbage in a closed dump on Thanksgiving Day.
otherwise you gonna be looking at 24 8X10 color glossy photos with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one......










Arlo rules Thanksgiving :okthumb:

[Forest]

Originally posted by PornoDoggy@Nov 25 2004, 01:54 PM
Do not put your envelope underneath a half-ton of garbage in a closed dump on Thanksgiving Day.
I like the group W bench

and you can get anything you want at alices restaurant....

except for alice

[PornoDoggy]

Originally posted by sarettah+Nov 25 2004, 09:21 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (sarettah @ Nov 25 2004, 09:21 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-PornoDoggy@Nov 25 2004, 01:54 PM
Do not put your envelope underneath a half-ton of garbage in a closed dump on Thanksgiving Day.
otherwise you gonna be looking at 24 8X10 color glossy photos with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one......










Arlo rules Thanksgiving :okthumb: [/b][/quote]
Something I've always wondered ... the judge that walked in sat down with a seeing eye dog, and he sat down, causing Obie to look at the seeing eye dog, and then at the twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy pictures with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one, and looked at the seeing eye dog. And then at twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy pictures with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one and began to cry, 'cause Obie came to the realization that it was a typical case of American blind justice, and there wasn't nothing he could do about it, and the judge wasn't going to look at the twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy pictures with the circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one explaining what each one was to be used as evidence ...

was he a liberal activist judge denying law enforcement the right to use legitimately obtained evidence?

[Mike AI]

I am lost....

[gonzo]

Originally posted by Mike AI@Nov 26 2004, 10:43 AM
I am lost....
I think its some hippy tune they are referencing.

[PornoDoggy]

Originally posted by Mike AI@Nov 26 2004, 10:43 AM
I am lost....
yeah, that's true, but in this case you are just too young. :D

[Mike AI]

Originally posted by PornoDoggy+Nov 26 2004, 02:21 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (PornoDoggy @ Nov 26 2004, 02:21 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-Mike AI@Nov 26 2004, 10:43 AM
I am lost....
yeah, that's true, but in this case you are just too young. :D [/b][/quote]


Ahhhhh ok!

[Vick]

It's a hippy thanksgiving tune thing


maybe

all 26 minutes worth

[grimm]

Alice's restaurant by arlo guthrie.

next youll start on "mcarthur park"

LOL

[grimm]

here you go


enjoy:)

http://www.arlo.net/lyrics/alices.shtml

[grimm]

sing it in the key of "LSD"

;)

[PornoDoggy]

Originally posted by grimm@Nov 26 2004, 04:22 PM
Alice's restaurant by arlo guthrie.

next youll start on "mcarthur park"

LOL
Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!

I firmly believe that hell will be an elevator with the Leonard Nimoy version of that song playing over and over and over and over ...

[grimm]

Originally posted by PornoDoggy+Nov 26 2004, 01:46 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (PornoDoggy @ Nov 26 2004, 01:46 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-grimm@Nov 26 2004, 04:22 PM
Alice's restaurant by arlo guthrie.

next youll start on "mcarthur park"

LOL
Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!

I firmly believe that hell will be an elevator with the Leonard Nimoy version of that song playing over and over and over and over ... [/b][/quote]
thanks for that. post your address so i can drive down and kick your ass at 4am when i cant sleep because i have that going through my head LOL



:P

[PornoDoggy]

Just put on the William Shattner's Greatest Hits cd ... :)

[PornoDoggy]

Originally posted by Vick@Nov 26 2004, 03:56 PM
It's a hippy thanksgiving tune thing


maybe

all 26 minutes worth
Back in the late 70s, while I was in the Navy and working at the Miliatary Processing Center in St. Louis, I had to turn up the radio when a local DJ played it the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. The Marines in the office next door thought it was funny as hell; the Air Scouts, er, Air Farce kiddies across the hall thought it was inappropriate...


not that that's why I did it :ph34r:

[grimm]

Originally posted by PornoDoggy@Nov 26 2004, 02:02 PM
Just put on the William Shattner's Greatest Hits cd ... :)
hell, pure and simple:)

[Vick]

Originally posted by PornoDoggy@Nov 26 2004, 05:02 PM
Just put on the William Shattner's Greatest Hits cd ... :)
that's an oxymoron

Shatner and greatest hits

[sarettah]

Someone left the cake out in the rain.

I don't think that I can take it cause it took so long to bake and I'll never have that recipe again.....

Oh No..... Oh NOOOOOOOOOO......

(now you all gotta suffer for sticking that in my head...... :headwall: )

[grimm]

Originally posted by sarettah@Nov 26 2004, 03:27 PM
Someone left the cake out in the rain.

I don't think that I can take it cause it took so long to bake and I'll never have that recipe again.....

Oh No..... Oh NOOOOOOOOOO......

(now you all gotta suffer for sticking that in my head...... :headwall: )
i hate that fucking cake. way to fuck up a metaphor, just to make a crappy song even crappier.

[grimm]

here are some fun links

http://www.popculturemadness.com/Music/WORST-Rex.html


http://www.songfacts.com/detail.lasso?id=1875


and this is the best one. i remember reading this one from dave barry about 4 years ago on a plane and laughing out loud.

http://www.lovedungeon.net/humor/dave/the_...contest_iv.html (http://www.lovedungeon.net/humor/dave/the_bad_song_contest_iv.html)


AND THE WINNER IS...
by Dave Barry
Bad Song Survey, Part 2


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I hope you haven't had anything to eat recently, because, as promised last week, today I am presenting the winners of the Bad Song Survey.

In analyzing the results, I had to make a few adjustments. For example, the Bob Dylan song "Lay Lady Lay" would have easily won the Worst Overall Song, with 17,006 votes, except that I had to disallow 17,004 votes on the grounds that they were cast by my Research Department, Judi Smith, who tabulated the votes and who HATES "Lay Lady Lay."

To win, a song had to be known well enough so that a lot of people could hate it. This is a shame in a way, because some obscure songs that people voted for are wonderfully hideous. One reader sent a tape of a song called "Hooty Sapperticker," by a group called Barbara and the Boys. This could be the worst song I've ever heard. It consists almost entirely of the Boys singing "Hooty! Hooty! Hooty!" and then Barbara saying: "Howdy Hooty Sapperticker!"

Several readers sent in an amazing CD from Rhino Records called "Golden Throats," which consists of popular actors attempting to sing popular music, including William Shatner attempting "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds," Leonard Nimoy attempting "Proud Mary," Mae West attempting "Twist and Shout," Eddie Albert attempting "Blowin' in the Wind," and - this is my favorite - Jack "Mr. Soul" Webb attempting "Try a Little Tenderness." You need this CD.

But now for our survey results. Without question, the voters' choice for Worst Song - in both the Worst Overall AND Worst Lyrics category - is... (drum roll ...)

"MacArthur Park," as sung by Richard Harris, and later remade, for no comprehensible reason, by Donna Summer.

It's hard to argue with this selection. My 12-year-old son Rob was going through a pile of ballots, and he asked me how "MacArthur Park" goes, so I sang it, giving it my best shot, and Rob laughed so hard that when I got to the part about leaving the cake out in the rain, and it took so long to bake it, and I'll never have that recipe again, Rob was on the *floor*. He didn't BELIEVE those lyrics were real. He was SURE his wacky old humor-columnist dad was making them up.

The clear runner-up, again in both categories, is "Yummy Yummy Yummy (I Got Love in My Tummy)," performed by Ohio Express. (A voter sent me an even WORSE version of this, performed by actress Julie London, who at one time - and don't tell me this is mere coincidence - was married to Jack Webb.)

Coming in a strong third is "(You're) Having My Baby" by Paul Anka. This song is deeply hated. As one voter put it: "It has no redeeming value whatsoever - except my friend Brian yelled out during the birth scene in the sequel to THE FLY in full song, 'Having my maggot!'"

Honorable mention goes to Bobby Goldsboro, who got many votes for various songs, especially "Honey." One voter wrote: "Why does everybody hate Bobby Goldsboro's 'Honey'? I hate it too, but I want to know WHY."

Why? Consider this verse: "She wrecked the car and she was sad; And so afraid that I'd be mad, but what the heck; Tho' I pretended hard to be; Guess you could say she saw through me; And hugged my neck."

As one reader observed: "Bobby never caught on that he could have bored a hole in himself and let the sap out."

A recent song that has aroused great hostility is "Achy Breaky Heart," by Billy Ray Cyrus. According to voter Mark Freeman, the song sounds like this: "You can tell my lips, or you can tell my hips, that you're going to dump me if you can; But don't tell my liver, in never would forgive her, it might blow up and circumcise this man!"

Many voters feel a special Lifetime Bad Achievement Award should go to Mac Davis, who wrote "In the Ghetto," "Watching Scotty Grow," AND "Baby Don't Get Hooked on Me," which contains one of the worst lines in musical history: "You're a hot-blooded woman, child; And it's warm where you're touching me." That might be as bad as the part in "Careless Whisper" where George Michael sings: "I'm never gonna dance again; Guilty feet have got no rhythm."

Speaking of bad lyrics, many voters also cited Paul McCartney, who, ever since his body was taken over by a pod person, has been writing things like: "Someone's knockin' at the door; Somebody's ringing the bell; (repeat); Do me a favor, open the door, and let him in."

There were strong votes for various tragedy songs, especially "Teen Angel" ("I'll never kiss your lips again; They buried you today") and "Timothy," a song about - really - three trapped miners, two of whom wind up eating the third.

Other tremendously unpopular songs, for their lyrics or overall badness, are: "Muskrat Love," "Sugar Sugar," "I'm Too Sexy," "Surfin' Bird," "I've Never Been to Me," "In-a-Gadda-Da-Vida," "Afternoon Delight," "Feelings," "You Light Up My Life," and "In the Year 2525" (VIOLENT hatred for this song).

In closing, let me say that you voters have performed a major public service, and that just because your song didn't make the list, that doesn't mean it isn't awful (unless you were one of the badly misguided people who voted for "The Tupperware Song"). Let me also say that I am very relieved to learn that there are people besides me who hate "Stairway to Heaven." Thank You.

P.S. Also "I Shot the Sheriff."

[grimm]

LOL LOL LOL

it still is funny.

[gonzo]

Hahahahahahah .... In The Ghetto!!

I think we wer singing this last year right about this time werent we?

[Vick]

Just because .....

...... Someone left the cake out


In the Ghetto is classic

and his mama cried
If there's on ething that she don't need
It's another hungry mouth to feed



Coming up next

Neil Diamond

Or Barry Manilow's Copacabana - the hottest spot north(south?) of Savanah

[sarettah]

Shilo when I was young, I always called your name, when noone else would come, shilo you always came...

come today......

[Nickatilynx]

all I can say is...

I hate you guys, so very much....


;-)))

[Vick]

Brother Love's Traveling Salavation show
Pack up the babies and grab the old ladies
Everyone goes
Brother Love's show

[sarettah]

Originally posted by Nickatilynx@Nov 26 2004, 09:09 PM
all I can say is...

I hate you guys, so very much....


;-)))
Beep Beep and Beep Beep yeah.......

We love you too Nick :)

:inlove:

[Dravyk]

Get out them barf bags, boys! :barfon:

Say you don't know me, or recognize my face
Say you don't care who goes to that kind of place
Knee deep in the hoopla, sinking in your fight
Too many runaways eating up the night

Marconi plays the mamba, listen to the radio, don't you remember
We built this city, we built this city on rock an' roll
We built this city, we built this city on rock an' roll
Built this city, we built this city on rock an' roll

And this from someone who headlined at Woodstock!

[Nickatilynx]

you are all mad ...quite quite mad...



(and this opinioin is from someone with "wibble" in his sig)

They're coming to take me away , haha

[PornoDoggy]

Once upon a dream, I think I
Lived inside a fairy tale,
Where someone brave was lost,
Where some dark void was crossed,

[PornoDoggy]

Originally posted by Dravyk@Nov 27 2004, 12:03 AM
Get out them barf bags, boys! :barfon:

Say you don't know me, or recognize my face
Say you don't care who goes to that kind of place
Knee deep in the hoopla, sinking in your fight
Too many runaways eating up the night

Marconi plays the mamba, listen to the radio, don't you remember
We built this city, we built this city on rock an' roll
We built this city, we built this city on rock an' roll
Built this city, we built this city on rock an' roll

And this from someone who headlined at Woodstock!
Technically, wrong answer.

Jefferson Airplane performed at Woodstock.

Then they became Jefferson Starship.

Then they became Starship, which is when they did that annoying piece of garbage.

Of course,

Say it plainly
The human name
Doesn’t mean shit to a tree

[Dravyk]

Originally posted by PornoDoggy@Nov 27 2004, 01:03 AM
Technically, wrong answer.
Technically correct; twas your assumption that was in error. :)

Note, I said someone, and was referring to Grace Slick, not to the group. :nyanya:

[grimm]

Originally posted by grimm@Nov 26 2004, 04:20 PM
here are some fun links

http://www.popculturemadness.com/Music/WORST-Rex.html


http://www.songfacts.com/detail.lasso?id=1875


and this is the best one. i remember reading this one from dave barry about 4 years ago on a plane and laughing out loud.

http://www.lovedungeon.net/humor/dave/the_...contest_iv.html (http://www.lovedungeon.net/humor/dave/the_bad_song_contest_iv.html)


AND THE WINNER IS...
by Dave Barry
Bad Song Survey, Part 2


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I hope you haven't had anything to eat recently, because, as promised last week, today I am presenting the winners of the Bad Song Survey.

In analyzing the results, I had to make a few adjustments. For example, the Bob Dylan song "Lay Lady Lay" would have easily won the Worst Overall Song, with 17,006 votes, except that I had to disallow 17,004 votes on the grounds that they were cast by my Research Department, Judi Smith, who tabulated the votes and who HATES "Lay Lady Lay."

To win, a song had to be known well enough so that a lot of people could hate it. This is a shame in a way, because some obscure songs that people voted for are wonderfully hideous. One reader sent a tape of a song called "Hooty Sapperticker," by a group called Barbara and the Boys. This could be the worst song I've ever heard. It consists almost entirely of the Boys singing "Hooty! Hooty! Hooty!" and then Barbara saying: "Howdy Hooty Sapperticker!"

Several readers sent in an amazing CD from Rhino Records called "Golden Throats," which consists of popular actors attempting to sing popular music, including William Shatner attempting "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds," Leonard Nimoy attempting "Proud Mary," Mae West attempting "Twist and Shout," Eddie Albert attempting "Blowin' in the Wind," and - this is my favorite - Jack "Mr. Soul" Webb attempting "Try a Little Tenderness." You need this CD.

But now for our survey results. Without question, the voters' choice for Worst Song - in both the Worst Overall AND Worst Lyrics category - is... (drum roll ...)

"MacArthur Park," as sung by Richard Harris, and later remade, for no comprehensible reason, by Donna Summer.

It's hard to argue with this selection. My 12-year-old son Rob was going through a pile of ballots, and he asked me how "MacArthur Park" goes, so I sang it, giving it my best shot, and Rob laughed so hard that when I got to the part about leaving the cake out in the rain, and it took so long to bake it, and I'll never have that recipe again, Rob was on the *floor*. He didn't BELIEVE those lyrics were real. He was SURE his wacky old humor-columnist dad was making them up.

The clear runner-up, again in both categories, is "Yummy Yummy Yummy (I Got Love in My Tummy)," performed by Ohio Express. (A voter sent me an even WORSE version of this, performed by actress Julie London, who at one time - and don't tell me this is mere coincidence - was married to Jack Webb.)

Coming in a strong third is "(You're) Having My Baby" by Paul Anka. This song is deeply hated. As one voter put it: "It has no redeeming value whatsoever - except my friend Brian yelled out during the birth scene in the sequel to THE FLY in full song, 'Having my maggot!'"

Honorable mention goes to Bobby Goldsboro, who got many votes for various songs, especially "Honey." One voter wrote: "Why does everybody hate Bobby Goldsboro's 'Honey'? I hate it too, but I want to know WHY."

Why? Consider this verse: "She wrecked the car and she was sad; And so afraid that I'd be mad, but what the heck; Tho' I pretended hard to be; Guess you could say she saw through me; And hugged my neck."

As one reader observed: "Bobby never caught on that he could have bored a hole in himself and let the sap out."

A recent song that has aroused great hostility is "Achy Breaky Heart," by Billy Ray Cyrus. According to voter Mark Freeman, the song sounds like this: "You can tell my lips, or you can tell my hips, that you're going to dump me if you can; But don't tell my liver, in never would forgive her, it might blow up and circumcise this man!"

Many voters feel a special Lifetime Bad Achievement Award should go to Mac Davis, who wrote "In the Ghetto," "Watching Scotty Grow," AND "Baby Don't Get Hooked on Me," which contains one of the worst lines in musical history: "You're a hot-blooded woman, child; And it's warm where you're touching me." That might be as bad as the part in "Careless Whisper" where George Michael sings: "I'm never gonna dance again; Guilty feet have got no rhythm."

Speaking of bad lyrics, many voters also cited Paul McCartney, who, ever since his body was taken over by a pod person, has been writing things like: "Someone's knockin' at the door; Somebody's ringing the bell; (repeat); Do me a favor, open the door, and let him in."

There were strong votes for various tragedy songs, especially "Teen Angel" ("I'll never kiss your lips again; They buried you today") and "Timothy," a song about - really - three trapped miners, two of whom wind up eating the third.

Other tremendously unpopular songs, for their lyrics or overall badness, are: "Muskrat Love," "Sugar Sugar," "I'm Too Sexy," "Surfin' Bird," "I've Never Been to Me," "In-a-Gadda-Da-Vida," "Afternoon Delight," "Feelings," "You Light Up My Life," and "In the Year 2525" (VIOLENT hatred for this song).

In closing, let me say that you voters have performed a major public service, and that just because your song didn't make the list, that doesn't mean it isn't awful (unless you were one of the badly misguided people who voted for "The Tupperware Song"). Let me also say that I am very relieved to learn that there are people besides me who hate "Stairway to Heaven." Thank You.

P.S. Also "I Shot the Sheriff."
give the gift of music...

here it is!

http://www.rhino.com/store/ProductDetail.lasso?Number=70187

[grimm]

it really is ball breaking funny whe n you consider jack "dragnet" webb singing, "try a little tenderness"



its worse than ebby calvin "nuke" lalouche singing it

"agirl may get wooly.... and when she gets wooly...try a little tenderness"


LOL

[grimm]

id also like to put in a vote for the beach boys "kokomo"

for which 1 year i thought the line after the chorus was "come on, lets dig, i want to find that pig"


when in reality the lyrics turned up on the internet as...

Port au prince I wanna catch a glimpse


dont ask