My Neighbor is an asshole

[MissEve]

I live in lakefront condos and there is another condo complex next to mine. Their property is set back more than mine so they have a large strip of grass. I often go over there and walk our new puppy who is very small. He never poos on their grass but just in case I always have a bag with me. So, I was walking him along the edge of the lake and this ASSHOLE screams at me "Hey lady, I would like you to stay on your side of the property, this is private property, YOU AND YOUR DOG!" I was pretty stunned so I didnt have a snappy response other than "oh sorry, I didnt realize my puppy on a leash was disturbing you so much". Meanwhile, his neighbor was making faces like he was totally embarrassed and asked me what kind of puppy I had etc and how cute he was. So, I realize that it IS private property and I respect that but the guy was such a raging asshole that Im dying to do something. KC thinks we should just keep going over there or possibly pay another condo owner to let us be their "guest". I was thinking of writing him a letter that says something like "Dear Curmudgeon, Im sorry that the mere sight of a girl walking her puppy on a sunny day filled you with such anger. Clearly you are petty person with a sad life. I hope that screaming at me brought you a small sense of satisfaction etc etc.

It really kills me that he screamed "hey lady!" who does he think he is, Jerry Lewis??!

Im also thinking about getting in my kayak and paddling in front of his house and possibly hurling giant dog poo with a slingshot or something. Where is Tony Soprano when you need him??!

[Dravyk]

Sheesh, guy sounds like a real winner. :(

Gonzo seems to be willing to fly anywhere these days, Eve. Just ask him about Man and Bat Services. :okthumb:

[XXXPhoto]

Miss Eve,

Let Momma Nauture help you out hon!

Leave a trail of raw hamburger up to his porch... varmits deserve other varmits company...

Buy some moose cow estrus pee and squirt on his door... A little doggie in his yard might seem more reasonable compaired to a horny bull moose!

Leave birdseed around his porch/driveway/car for a few weeks, then switch to leaving cedar berries... bird poo all over ones car/house is a pita for most folks...

:okthumb:

[Winetalk.com]

I hate when kids walk on my bank of the pond...I have to put clothes when it happens
;-)))

...and this IS my private property
;_)

[XXXPhoto]

Originally posted by Serge_Oprano@May 14 2004, 03:27 AM
I hate when kids walk on my bank of the pond...I have to put clothes when it happens
;-)))

...and this IS my private property
;_)
Walk on water Serge and scare the piss outta them.... :okthumb:

[Winetalk.com]

Originally posted by XXXPhoto+May 14 2004, 06:32 AM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (XXXPhoto @ May 14 2004, 06:32 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteBegin--Serge_Oprano@May 14 2004, 03:27 AM
I hate when kids walk on my bank of the pond...I have to put clothes when it happens
;-)))

...and this IS my private property
;_)
Walk on water Serge and scare the piss outta them.... :okthumb:[/b][/quote]
I just look at them and they leave....I don't have the mirror,
but there is something in my eyes which tells them the right course of actions
;-)))

....or they mistake my cock for a pistol
;-))))

[Almighty Colin]

Round up some moose and let them loose on his yard.

[XXXPhoto]

Originally posted by Serge_Oprano@May 14 2004, 03:59 AM
I just look at them and they leave....I don't have the mirror,
but there is something in my eyes which tells them the right course of actions
;-)))

....or they mistake my cock for a pistol
;-))))
I can believe that... I remember seeing you for first time in Orlando when you had the wild hair and beard... Thought to myself this has to be either Serge or a serial killer... Being alone in elevator with you though, I didn't think it good time to check which was correct... lol

Loud classical music tends to repell children of the hip hop generation... Pistol solution doesn't work when the little urchins are also armed...

[PBucksLauren]

Go over there and kill him with kindness. Maybe you'll find his soft spot especially if you bring your puppy with you and then maybe he'll stop being such a prick. If he doesn't change his ways, then its war LOL

:devil:

[Buff]

Miss Eve:

Invite him over for poker with you and KC -- that will put him in his place with a quickness.

[*KK*]

Lob a firebomb from the kayak to his door.

[SykkBoy]

Originally posted by Serge_Oprano+May 14 2004, 06:59 AM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Serge_Oprano @ May 14 2004, 06:59 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'>Originally posted by -XXXPhoto@May 14 2004, 06:32 AM
<!--QuoteBegin--Serge_Oprano@May 14 2004, 03:27 AM
I hate when kids walk on my bank of the pond...I have to put clothes when it happens
;-)))

...and this IS my private property
;_)
Walk on water Serge and scare the piss outta them.... :okthumb:
I just look at them and they leave....I don't have the mirror,
but there is something in my eyes which tells them the right course of actions
;-)))

....or they mistake my cock for a pistol
;-))))[/b][/quote]
everyone else missed this one or didn't notice the HUGE opening, so..

"so, serge, is that a snubnose pistol or are you just glad to see me"
;-)))

[gonzo]

Originally posted by Dravyk@May 14 2004, 05:30 AM
Sheesh, guy sounds like a real winner. :(

Gonzo seems to be willing to fly anywhere these days, Eve. Just ask him about Man and Bat Services. :okthumb:
Have Bat will travel.

[Bishop]

Sounds like he could have been nicer about it.. but it also sounds like he had the right to say what he did.

My neighbors come over and walk around my place.. they use it like a freaking park. I don't mind, though I haven't given them permission either.. as long as my neighbors keep their dogs on a leash I'm an easy person to deal with.

Maybe you just caught the guy on a bad day.. or maybe puppies and or women scare him.

[Mike AI]

Does the guy live alone? Does he have a wife?

There are lots of ways to get even.

Some very fun pranks. I would let things pass before you do anything though. Don't want anyone suspecting you.

[MissEve]

There are already tons of moose in our yards so that wont scare him, lol

Serge, this is not his private yard, it belongs to the entire condo association and he is the only one that seems to care. There are tons of people back there in the summer fishing off the dock etc.

Here are some pics of the situation:
He lives in the very end unit on the left

http://www.monkeylinks.com/pics/lakehouse.jpg

The vicious attack dog:

http://www.monkeylinks.com/pics/puppyrug.jpg
http://www.monkeylinks.com/pics/P1010010.JPG

[pushpills]

give him a handjob, from the sound of him he'd probably let you walk all over his property and bake you pies for the relief.

[DrGuile]

Originally posted by Serge_Oprano@May 14 2004, 06:59 AM

....or they mistake my cock for a pistol
;-))))
a Deringer?

[Winetalk.com]

MsEve, next time he opens up his mouth,
ask him to contact your attorneys and give him a few numbers out of yellow pages.
Gonna keep him busy for a while.

ask also the name of his attorney,
with straight poker face,
without adding anything why you need it.

[Bishop]

Having looked at the pictures.. my opinion is now screw him.

Cute little puppy. :-))

[Hell Puppy]

Originally posted by Dravyk@May 14 2004, 05:30 AM
Sheesh, guy sounds like a real winner. :(

Gonzo seems to be willing to fly anywhere these days, Eve. Just ask him about Man and Bat Services. :okthumb:
Clark Howard Tip: Man & Bat hates to check luggage and TSA wont let his bat on as carry on. So he now buys his bats on site and adds it to the bill. Save yourself the markup and have a Louisville Slugger on hand.

He prefers a 34" Prostock MLB180 in natural finish. Whatever you do, dont offer him an aluminum bat.

[Peaches]

Originally posted by Hell Puppy@May 14 2004, 06:47 PM
Clark Howard Tip:
LOL! :P

[CuriousToyBoy]

Give me a call.

I have some really nice mates who ride large US made motorbikes, wear lots of leather and HATE the fact I make and sell gay porn.

You wanna see the neighbours when the boys arrive at home for a BBQ.

Gives a new meaning to the word "priceless".

And my neighbours don't talk much to me anyway, thank god, but since the BBQ's started happening they cross the street to walk around our house.

:agrin:

sits and waits for inevitable smart-ass comment from usual suspect