Carrie
01-13-2004, 04:02 AM
Looking at yet more Internext pictures tonight I couldn't help but think some of these models seriously need a week of Big Macs. Which naturally progressed to these warped/ornery little ideas...
Hit the convention floor with a fistful of McDonald's coupon booklets and bright red shirts (sized small) that say "PLEASE FEED ME" on front and back. Hand out as necessary to the models/booth bunnies.
Determine the model who needs the most urgent help. Have a team of guys dressed like paramedics come rushing in, strap her ass down to a stretcher and keep her there until she consumes a Big Mac value meal. Super-size is not necessary.
At the end of the convention, give an award to the company with the Most Models In Need Of Nutritional Intervention.
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For shits and giggles, take a handheld breathalizer test to the parties with you. Record all scores. Keep for later use when trying to get good deals, or simply announce the "Most Consistently Drunk Webmaster" at the end of the convention.
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Find an aisle that is empty or nearly so. Set up a sign at both ends of the aisle saying "This aisle closed for lack of business." Take picture. Leave signs up. Setup Candid Camera-type webcam to record webmaster's reactions as they walk by. This would be best done using guys in rent-a-cop suits. Better yet, leave two rent-a-cops with each sign and see how long it takes for them to get thrown out.
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Make up business-sized cards saying things like "Official Internext 2003 Vegas Attention Whore", "Official Internext 2003 Vegas Drama Queen", etc... pass out as necessary.
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Print up 4x6" bright red stickers that say "OWNED - Internext Vegas 2003". Apply to the forehead (or most prominent feature) of any webmaster found passed out in a public place. Take picture. Invite others to come over and take pictures. To be really mean, remove sticker so the victim has no idea about it until the post-show pictures start coming out.
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Yeah, they're silly. Yeah, I'm feeling mean. Don't act like you haven't had thoughts like these pass through your heads. :matey:
Got any more?
Hit the convention floor with a fistful of McDonald's coupon booklets and bright red shirts (sized small) that say "PLEASE FEED ME" on front and back. Hand out as necessary to the models/booth bunnies.
Determine the model who needs the most urgent help. Have a team of guys dressed like paramedics come rushing in, strap her ass down to a stretcher and keep her there until she consumes a Big Mac value meal. Super-size is not necessary.
At the end of the convention, give an award to the company with the Most Models In Need Of Nutritional Intervention.
-------------------
For shits and giggles, take a handheld breathalizer test to the parties with you. Record all scores. Keep for later use when trying to get good deals, or simply announce the "Most Consistently Drunk Webmaster" at the end of the convention.
-------------------
Find an aisle that is empty or nearly so. Set up a sign at both ends of the aisle saying "This aisle closed for lack of business." Take picture. Leave signs up. Setup Candid Camera-type webcam to record webmaster's reactions as they walk by. This would be best done using guys in rent-a-cop suits. Better yet, leave two rent-a-cops with each sign and see how long it takes for them to get thrown out.
------------------
Make up business-sized cards saying things like "Official Internext 2003 Vegas Attention Whore", "Official Internext 2003 Vegas Drama Queen", etc... pass out as necessary.
------------------
Print up 4x6" bright red stickers that say "OWNED - Internext Vegas 2003". Apply to the forehead (or most prominent feature) of any webmaster found passed out in a public place. Take picture. Invite others to come over and take pictures. To be really mean, remove sticker so the victim has no idea about it until the post-show pictures start coming out.
------------------
Yeah, they're silly. Yeah, I'm feeling mean. Don't act like you haven't had thoughts like these pass through your heads. :matey:
Got any more?