Keep an eye on your kids

[Bishop]

Ironic.. Yesterday I had a conversation with my nephew... straight talk about the dangers of the world. He just turned 11 and his younger brother and sister (twins) just turned 9. After spending the day with him and having some very serious conversations ... something bad happened last night.

Nephew had gone home, wife and I were having dinner at the house, watching the news. A report comes on that a 6 years old was missing. The boy was missing just miles from our home in the country hillside of North Carolina. My wife and I grabbed our coats as it was already near freezing and raining.. we headed out the door to join the search party.

Long story short.. We spent three and a half hours in the freezing rain. We came home to warm up and get better clothes on. We didn't bundle up well enough to be treking through fields and woods all night. We flip on the tv and the news is asking that people come back in the morning. The authorities will need 'fresh feet' at first light. We decide to get some rest and go back early in the AM.

Last night about midnight the boy was found. They haven't released any updates from the hospital. Authorities had issued an Amber Alert looking for the child AND a red truck. Through the grapevine.. the speculation is that bad things happened to this child and at a time when the kid was just looking forward to Santa coming.

I was living in North Texas in 1996 when the girl who inspired the Amber Alert was kidnapped and murdered. I remember the day 9 year old Amber Hagerman disappeared I knew the area she was taken.

---
My wife just walked through the door.. Its not on the news yet but she has been told by two different sources the child didn't make it.

Keep an eye on your kids.. and throw some prayers toward a family that just experienced a great loss.

[Bishop]

Local news just confirmed.. the boy was found dead a half mile from his grandfathers home at the edge of the woods in a pasture. Face down with a blunt force trauma to the head. The police dogs didn't track his scent last night so its likely someone either picked him up in a car/truck or carried him through the woods.

[KRL]

The worst feeling in the world is not knowing where your children are.
Death would be less painful.

The hardest thing as a parent is adapting to giving up control and security of your child to others.

I remember when I dropped my little guy off at kindergarten for his first day 4 years ago. Driving home all I could think was my God I just handed over the most precious thing in my life for the next 6 hours to people who I don't even know anything about other than they are teachers. What if there is a pedo in the school. What if they are mean and abusive verbally. What if they aren't watching him on the playground and he wonders off.

One time at a local arcade he was standing next to me. I turned my head for literally a few secs, looked back and he was gone. (He had gone and hid behind the machine I was playing to trick me). My heart stopped as I started to say his name thinking he had to be within a few feet. As feet turned into yards, yards turned into sheer panic. I thought oh no someone must have lured him and snatched him. Finally after 5 minutes of total emotional hell, he cam popping out.

He did the same thing in a mall and went and hid inside one of those circular clothing racks and my ex and I went into total panic mode thinking he had wondered out of the store.

Then getting divorced with kids is a whole big nightmare. Now you don't know where your kid is half the time when he's with your ex. It is the worst part of divorce and I don't wish it on anyone. And my ex isn't like I am. She lets him go bike riding with his step sisters on busy streets by themselves and walk over to the park themselves to play. And there's nothing I can do about it.

You have to just hope and pray your child doesn't become a victim, but its something you have to deal with and worry about constantly. Especially with all the pervs and pedo's around.

[Bishop]

I remember hiding from my parents at stores when I was a kid. Those clothing racks are great places to hide when your little. I always thought it was fun because when I finally came out they were so happy to see me. When I was little I never thought about how it might be scaring them.

When I talked to my nephew yesterday I gave him an example that was very similar to what happened to this child. The fact that I said it, and it happened gives me the chills. His younger brother and sister look up to him and I'm hoping this has had enough of an impact on him that he impresses on them how dangerous the world can be. I took a bunch of his PlayStation 2 games from his yesterday because I discovered he had somehow picked up Teen and Mature games. I took them all away from him then drove him to the mall and bought him new games that were better suited to his age. I took something away from him and explained to him why I did it .. then I was the cool uncle and replaced them all with new games. Hopefully the talks I had with him yesterday got through to him.

I ask my nephew if he had ever been in a store and seen someone that made him uncomfortable? He said he had.. I pointed out to him that when he was 8-9 like his siblings are now.. that he probably never had that feeling. The older you get the more likely you are to sense the not so friendly people. I explained to him that when he grows up he will spot those people you shouldn't trust more quickly than he does now. We talked about kids being kidnapped.. I never talked about what might happen to a child because the important part was never to be in a dangerous situation in the first place. He acted all tough suggesting that he might be able to beat someone up. I ask him if he knew anyone under the age of 18 that could beat me up. He couldn't think of anyone. I pointed out to him that I could beat the crap out of any 15 of his little 11 year old friends by myself. What chance would 1 kid have against 1 adult. No chance.. I told him to run like hell and get help if he ever felt like he was in danger. I pointed out to him that women are adults and bad things happen to them.. that he wouldn't have a chance as a kid.

I'm glad they found the child quickly.. easier on the family. I'm glad I didn't find him.

[Peaches]

Geeze - I feel so bad for those parents. :cryin:

Mine was the master of hiding and also TOO friendly. Those leashes you see on kids know weren't around then, but you can bet I would have planted one on him without a care as to the "looks" I got. The panic mode that hits when you can't find them can't be explained.

[Carrie]

I sent my mom into a panic mode one day hiding in the round clothing racks... she was bawling when I came out, they had locked the store doors, the police were there... I didn't do it again.

My heart aches for that family. I hope to god they catch the bastard that hurt (and worse, *sigh*) that little boy. Right before Christmas, too... how more horrible can things get? :(

[Peaches]

Sadly, the perverts are so tricky and the kids so innocent that it's hard to drill it into their heads to be afraid of EVERYONE.

My girlfriend's 9 year old was walking home from the school bus one day. She wanted to be a "big girl" and not have my friend walk with her, but my friend could see out the window and watch the whole walk. One day she was watching and a car pulled up to her daughter about 1/2 a block away from the house - the bus stop was only about 1-1.5 blocks away from the house - and she watched in horror as her daughter started talking to this person. It was a small neighborhood in what then was a small town so my girlfriend knew it wasn't anyone from the neighborhood. My friend ran outside and started calling her daughter and the man in the car sped off. My friend went running to her daughter just freaking out "We've had this talk so many times - you're not supposed to talk to strangers!". Her daughter was in tears and said, and I'm sure it was 100% the truth "I forgot.". :( Just that one second could have cost her her life and/or worse.

I remember seeing that show on Oprah where the parents had been talking to the kids for years, and even impressed AGAIN in front of the cameras that their kids shouldn't talk to strangers. But almost every single time, when faced with the actual situation, they did. :(

My son had my nieces baby picture on his website with her name on it and my brother freaked out. At first I thought he was over reacting, but then again......

I can remember riding my bike for MILES to get to stores, the pool, the orthodontist, etc. and that was in a relatively large town - Jacksonville. Nowadays, there's NO WAY anyone would send an 11-15 year old girl out on major roads by themselves.

Honestly, I couldn't have kids at this age - I'm too old for all the panicking and worry! :unsure:

[kath]

Originally posted by Peaches@Dec 14 2003, 03:40 PM
Honestly, I couldn't have kids at this age - I'm too old for all the panicking and worry! :unsure:
I hear ya Peaches... it's tough. :unsure:

Mine are 14 and 12 - old enough to know not to talk to strangers, and I hope alert enough to know who to stay away from. My sister used to say I was too over protective with my kids because I made them come in at dark and always had to know where they were. Now she has a little girl of her own and *finally* understands.

Bishop - sounds like your nephew is pretty lucky to have an uncle like you around. Every kid needs someone like that. My brother is great with my kids but he's several hours away. Wish we were closer. Sometimes I think stuff like that is better accepted when it comes from the cool uncle or cool aunt than just mom or dad. Especially at this age where they are challenging everything we say/do.

So sorry to hear about the boy... that's awful news. I agree - when things like this happen around the holidays, it just *seems* even more devastating. That poor family... I can't even imagine how any of them must be feeling. :(

[Candice]

if possible, parents should always be on the look out and don't trust anybody... :rolleyes:

[Bishop]

A family friend is the dead childs school teacher.. just got back from the store buying a flower arrangement for the childs desk in the morning. Teacher didn't have time busy day.. so my wife and I volunteered to take care of it. The kids in the class are exchanging Xmas cards tomorrow. We got a flower arrangement and a little basket for the kids in class to put the boy's cards in. They will be sent on to the family later. Sad stuff..

[Nickatilynx]

A Terrible , simply unspeakable and unimaginable thing.

[sarettah]

:cryin:

[Torone]

If anyone ever hurts any of my kids or grandkids, I WILL kill him/her (even in police custody)... :snipe:

[SykkBoy]

Originally posted by Torone@Dec 15 2003, 08:09 AM
If anyone ever hurts any of my kids or grandkids, I WILL kill him/her (even in police custody)... :snipe:
Finally an issue Torone and I are on the same side of......

[sarah_webinc]

Today in the UK we have had a verdict on a case that has been with us for 18 months. A school grounds keeper was convicted of killing two little girls that had been missing. The police hunt for the girls was one of the biggest stories in the 7 years I have lived here. Not only did he kill them but then gave tv interviews wishing the family well and pleaing for the girls to return home. Then he went and burned their bodies and tried to hide them somewhere else in a condition so that they could barely identify them.

The world is a scary place.